"Never trust anyone over 30" has been attributed to many different people and groups, most notably Bob Dylan. We have board members here of various ages. Generational boundaries are getting closer and closer together. FOCUS: If you are under 30, what wisdom would you like to impart to those of us who are over 30? What things would you like to tell us about your generation and your culture that we don't "get?" RULES: If you are under 30, post your wisdom in this thread. If you are over 30, you can respond to that wisdom here, but post your own wisdom in the other thread.
I'm not sure about everyone else around here but I don't see much difference between 25 and 30. So, I'll give you 30+ the only advice I've ever given someone your age. -Don't wear socks and sandals, you old fucks. -Break out of that routine; listen to new music, try new foods, meet new people. If you've got kids, even more reason to get out and do this. Life is too fucking short to live in your box. -Stop smoking, it was cool in the '80's but nobody likes it anymore. If they do, they're idiots. -Fuck more; bitch less.
This ain't an age thing, son. Some of the most closed-minded, in-the-box people I've met are know-it-all young punks. Just sayin. And get off my fucking lawn you hipster doofus.
- Raise your hand if you've ever broken a bone while running/falling on carpet/ catching a football. I have. Osteoporosis is a bitch; start taking your calcium early. I literally know a woman who broke her vagina (her husband naturally tried to claim he did it). Don't be in your 60s where I am now. - Dipping. It isn't cool (disgusting, actually), and it will come back to haunt you. - Just because you can remove your teeth, does not mean we want to see you do it. - The human body is surprisingly resilient. We didn't evolve to where we are now by constantly and quickly succumbing to cancer, physical trauma, missing limbs, brain tumors, etc. The human body is amazingly strong, and the human will is tougher in most of us. At some point, you will encounter a major, potentially life-ending scenario. Don't be afraid, and don't immediately give up or quit. Tough it out, like humans have been doing for centuries, and you'd be surprised how often you'll come out on top. - When you have children, understand that the above applies to them as well. Actually, more so. As resilient as older folks are, the younger the kid is generally the more likely it is that he/she will bounce back. We're stubborn little fuckers, partly because we don't know any better and we haven't had enough real-world experience to show us that there's an alternative to surviving. As scared as you may be as a parent if something happens to one of your children, it's not the end of the world. We really aren't that fragile, and despite what you may think we really are capable and willing to live life compromised.
You may either have been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt, or you can be a 20 year old in a 40 year old's body. Don't try to be both, or at least, not at the same time with the same people. Oh, and if you're a parent of a member of the current generation, please don't bitch about the state of the current generation. The kids didn't raise themselves, you know.
Let us fail. Just like you had to learn the hard way, so do we. We won't learn a damn thing if you keep doing everything for us and protecting us from consequences. I really hope I stick to my guns on this one because I know way too many mid-late twenty somethings with full time jobs who's parents are still floating the bill on everything major and digging them out of the hole whenever they get in over their heads. Then they get pissed when the kid doesn't save any money for when something else happens like their car breaking down.
Dress your age. I can't tell you how many times I have had this conversation with my mom. Don't try to look like an 18 year old when you're over 40, because if you should find yourself next to one, you're going to look ridiculous and pathetic for even trying. There are lots of ways to look sexy and age-appropriate... just watch What Not to Wear or read InStyle.
Actually, on this note (and because I can't edit that post anymore), I'm sick of hearing older people talk about all the god damned wisdom and experience they have, and leave it at that. If you're going to mention what a veritable Methusaleh youare, you might consider sharing a relevant piece of that wisdom, or just don't bother mentioning it in the first place. I know it might surprise you that a little know-it-all 20 year old might want to learn something from you. When people do this, they sound like they're gloating about an accomplishment that amounts to little more than having been born a few decades before me. Like with being powerful, if you have to say how much wisdom and experience you have, you probably don't have that much.
Get scanned for the common cancers as soon as you can. Men: It's not 'gay' to get a once-every-five-year colon check up, but it's ironically gay to avoid it and end up getting ass-cancer though. Computers aren't scary, learn them. The internet is a very useful tool, it's not just for cat pictures and facebook. The other night I was researching Joe Fraziers boxing style and ended up watching all of the Thrilla in Manila. Isn't that crazy? I saw one of the bext, most historic boxing matches on a whim thanks to YouTube. Go to clubs, act young - who cares? The people who say that you shouldn't are losers. If you haven't traveled when you were young, it's never too late.
If you're a parent: don't lie to your kids about drinking, drugs or sex. I love my parents to death but I didn't have any real freedom until I was 18. Everything I did was behind their backs. They felt like if they let one thing go (ie drinking, sex, drugs, etc) then I'd fall to pieces and wreck my life. I'm still here and I wouldn't have made some of the stupid decisions I did back in high school if I had been given a legitimate introduction instead of christian "do it and you'll get pregnant, contract an std, burn in hell and die". Definitely not the case. Please don't do that.
When you tell your kids something it won't necessarily go in one ear and out the other. They listen to you more than you think. You just don't know it because they never tell you. In my experience the best way to get teenagers to listen to you is to meet them halfway and explain why that's the case. If you tell your kid not to speed they'll be less likely to listen to you than if you were to tell them about the time a kid from your high school died after wrapping his Mustang around a tree.
That's only part of it, in my opinion. People, in general, think that they're the best at something until proven otherwise. As you get older, you tend to become a bit more open to that concept. Take your kid to a track and enrol them into a high performance driving day. They will be put in a situation where they will be shown, unequivocally, that they are nowhere near the all-star driver that they think they are. They will be pushed past their limits, typically in the car that they drive daily, and will then have a way better understanding of what the limits of the car and their abilities really are. They will also be taught the correct way to deal with various dangerous situations, by someone who they have no ties to. Don't kid yourself, children tend not to believe that parents know their shit in a lot of cases, unless proven otherwise. Likewise, parents tend to blow shit up their kids ass way more than they should, rather than saying "I don't know". It boggles my mind that kids with next to no experience are handed keys to 4,000 lbs of car with 300+ HP, with just enough training to get it started and backed down the driveway.
There is a possibility that growing older has made you more complacent, softer, slower, etc. There's nothing wrong with this. But at least recognize it and stop thinking that it is somehow a superior way of life. Realize that being young and ambitious/defiant/uncommitted is not the same thing as being naive, reckless, or impulsive. (Really, I don't think I have any "wisdom" to give to the older generation—I'm just tired of the older generation assuming I never give any thought to my decisions.)
"Respect your elders" is a pretentious phrase. Like George Carlin said, respect should be earned and not granted automatically. I have to defer to you just because your parents happened to fuck a couple decades before mine did? I extend courtesy to all people until I'm given a reason to do otherwise, so it's unfair (and highly annoying) to listen to someone my dad's age talk down to my generation as if we're devoid of respect, empathy, intelligence, work ethic, etc. Then those same people are actually surprised when we don't give them any credibility. Being older isn't an accomplishment if you have nothing to show for it. This is a two-way street. Just how not all younger people are useless heathens, I realize that not all "older" people have that mindset towards them. But for those of you that do: drop the entitlement complex, or I'll shit on your lawn.
That's what I mean. Parents have to somehow prove they know what they're talking about. Their word alone is not good enough. But if they can prove a behavior is dangerous by citing an example the kids will listen. Sometimes parents will just believe that no matter what they say it falls on deaf ears. That is not true though. Things like that have an impact on their decisions.
This probably applies to people of all ages but parents are guilty of it more than anyone. Teach your kids to learn with a handy "I'm not sure." If your kids ask a question and you are unsure of the answer, they would be much better served if you directed them towards sources where they can find the answer rather than a bullshit story or just a plain old "I don't know, stop asking so many questions." Nowadays a person can learn about just about anything as long as they have access to an internet connection. When they ask something you're not sure about, make it sort of like a game. "This place probably has the answer or can lead yo to where you can find the answer. Find out and then tell me too." I think shifting the power dynamic in this manner can be a great way to not only build knowledge, but to also build trust and friendship with your kids. I only say this because while my dad is a pretty smart guy, he suffers from know-it-all syndrome. I always asked a lot of questions as a kid and he would answer what he knew, make up something when he wasn't sure, and tell me to stop asking so many questions when I asked a really hard one. Neither of my parents can bear the thought of their kids knowing more than them about a particular subject. I think a lot of other parents are the same way. (edit: I'm 22, for the record)
Recognize that your entire generation was financed by mortgaging our future. So if we maybe don't get that six figure job right out of college, or we vote to slash your social security and medicare payments, shut the fuck up and realize it's a fraction of what you owe us. Complain too much and we'll just start smothering you with pillows en masse.
You do realize that the older people on this board are between 30-40 correct? We are in the same boat, unless we have some middle age members.