I ran this up the flag pole on the old board, but we'll see if Terrible Thread Thursday will get it ran. I love drinking toasts, and am always keen to hear more. So the FOCUS is simple. You people are drunken degenerates. Share some of your favorite pre drink sayings/lymrics/rallying crys.
Here's one that a friend of mine has always used (maybe a little too often). I'm not saying it's the greatest, but it's not bad. "Here's to cheating, fighting, stealing and drinking. If you're going to cheat, cheat death. If you are going to fight, fight for a brother. if you are going to steal, steal a woman's heart, and if you're gonna drink, drink with me."
In college everyone has short attention spans, so I try to keep my toasts brief. My top two: "To our sons: May they have hot mothers, and rich fathers." -How to Make it in America "To good weed and bad bitches."
A favorite from a friend of mine: In the words of the great thinker Sophocles: Spoiler DRINK NIGGER DRINK
"To his imperial majesty the King of Prussia." I was on the internet at a party one night drunk (yeah I'm that guy) and came across this gem. It's what the Prussian army used to always toast too when they were drinking in the 19th Century. It's actually a little bit more epic but I can't find it, spent ages on Google but if anyone knows exactly what it was please tell me.
I have a friend who says this for every toast: Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well drink. After she finishes, it's always someone's job to tell her that doesn't rhyme.
I would fuck Dorothy Parker. Not like when she was famous. I mean now. A lot of her quotes make for good toasts:
May the winds of fortune sail you. May you sail a gentle sea. May it always be the other guy, who says this drinks on me! I use that one often.
a stripper told me this: heres to the stars, may you look like a movie star, party like a rock star, and fuck like a porn star
We always toast to "the next step". The only rhyming one I know goes as such: If the oceans were whiskey and I was a duck I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up But the ocean ain't whiskey, and I'm not a duck So let's throw back these shots and get all fucked up Or something of that nature.
My grandma and my best friend are both fond of this one, and I suppose one could do worse: Here's to those who wish us well, All the rest can go to hell.