BUT I'M A BARTENDER IN THE INDUSTRY!!!

Best case scenario, nothing is ever mentioned about what happened, and they move on. Worst case, the boyfriend finds out, shit at work gets weird and someone has to quit

 

Shit, deleted it, meant to edit my post. It was on the TMMB and someone said it as a response to an insult in a thread I think about tipping.

SGEDIT: Allow me:

 

There is no way to tell how this will play out without really knowing any of the parties involved, and to that end I'll share my experiences - all positive.

I've shat (shitted?) where I ate multiple times, to no ill effect. I've purposely avoided doing so with women I knew were unstable, needy, or otherwise dangerous to my future. I've also been up front with them about what was going on.

When I started my current job, there were a ton of single women here, and a few hit on me immediately, including the girl from HR who got me situated my first day. I currently work with someone that I dated for almost a year, and we had a great time in bed. Fantastic, in fact. That relationship ended when I broke it off nearly 20 years ago, and work together closely on projects nearly every day, occasionally traveling together. My wife knows about her, has talked to her at parties, and been to events outside work were she was also invited. There is no awkwardness, temptation for one last fling, bitterness or any other negative repercussions because we are both professional and stable.

Your workplace can be a great place to meet women, so by all means, eat, shit, and repeat. But be smart about it.

 

I own a restaurant that has a bar, and yes, this.

I have staff that sport fuck each other, staff that have been in long term relationships, and I even have staff that have been married for many years. Very rarely is there a problem, but I attribute that to when we,(my wife and I), find out there is something going on we warn both parties of the possible consequences and fallout. Now we don't do this in a threatening way, more like parents to their children. (And no you vultures, I'm not talking about incest. Jeesh…)

 

^ This times a million. All of my friends who are bartenders rake in more poon than any other guys I know. They've encouraged me to become a bartender as well, but I just don't have a winning personality; I'd end up going off on stupid patrons.

 

Everyone who has any association with the place will know about it within a day. Gossip is rampant in that setting. It will bite you in the ass because it will get back to her boyfriend very soon, then shit will get weird and awkward where you work. I am assuming she is very young, under 23. Hopefully you used protection because there is an army tapping that thing.

Here is the thing about bartending, where I work we have 1 register, so 2 bartenders share it, so we are both responsible for the drawer, if it is short we have to pay it out of our tips, we split tips 50/50 so you really have to trust who you work with and you know a lot about who you work with, 8 hours in a 3x15 space makes you very close. I work shifts with 2 different females both of whom wear very type clothes and have big fakes tits, and get along very well with both and I know more about them than I know about anybody, even people in my family, things like finances, family, boyfriends, break ups, hook ups, pets, deaths in their family, habits, how often they pee and a lot of other shit. So what happens when you spend that much time with someone who you enjoy working with? You want to see them naked and have sex with them.

I will write more on this later I have to go work.

 

A couple of your sentences were out of order. ftfy

 

This is how this is gonna play out:
Waitress is probably a stupid twat who will blab to someone about fucking Drunkfish.
Boyfriend finds out, and they break up.
Waitress spends the next month fucking her way through at least 4 additional co-workers and/or regulars.
Waitress reconnects with original boyfriend or has a new boyfriend.
Rinse and repeat.

I only dated ONE bartender in my single days. Well, went on like two dates. I don't consider that really dating. He's the dude who showed up, told me that I "don't want what he's got", and pulled out a strap-on, offering to fuck me. WTF? I politely declined and we are still friends. I still, to this day, have no idea what STD he had/has.

 

I met my ex through 2x girls that I worked with (I was manager, they were bartenders).

5x months into that relationship - a new girl started at work. 3x months of serious attraction, chemistry, late long nights together at work (nothing happened) - which culminated in us getting a cab home together from a work function. Again, nothing happened, but I broke things off with the ex the next day, and I've been with the current girl ever since (1+ years - we continued to work together for half of that and then I was transferred to another venue, for other reasons).

Up until then, I had only ever hooked up with a girl I worked with once - I've been in the industry for over 8 years. This was solely due to the "don't shit where you eat" mantra, but I guess sometimes that's absolutely unavoidable, for reasons you good folk have mentioned.



Not sure where the thread title comes from, but I probably hear that phrase once a week from someone who thinks they deserve extra entitlement. Bartenders make the worst customers sometimes

 

I used to be a super duper shit where you eat person. Absolutely no self control.

When I worked at a restaurant in X-ray school, I probably had some kind of sexual encounter with about 3 waitresses at some point. It never really ended up going smoothly, yet thy penis cared not.
One of those women was fucking nuts and I immediately regretted that situation, yet she remains my most loyal spank bank memory in the catalog.

When I went to ultrasound school, I was one of 2 guys in the class and I immediately started sleeping with this really cute, but highly immature girl. That instantly blew up in my face within a month or so. Made school a living hell. She would openly talk about all the dudes she was fucking as if it would embarrass me and not her. She was dumb as fuck so me embarrassing her in class didn't help either.

Anyhow, I'm not single anymore so I don't foresee anymore problems like this. But even if you are single and know better, you still will do it.

 

I know that this isn't quite the same as the restaurant business, but my experience working at Publix during my time in high school and undergrad was very similar to this. I moved around a lot in that time and worked at four different stores in a span of 5 years, and there were serious romances and/or flings between employees at every store that I worked at. Some things that I saw:

-I lost my virginity to a girl who I worked with at the second store that I worked at, while I was going to FSU. We never officially dated but we basically did for a few weeks, until I had to move back to Atlanta

-One guy who I became friends with at that store ended up marrying one of our coworkers. That lasted for three months. He's a quiet, shy white guy, she's black, and she cheated on him with a black guy

-Also at the store that I worked at while I was going to FSU, the assistant front end manager (a male) and one of the female cashiers were caught on tape having sex in one of the coolers in the back. Said manager was promptly transferred to a different store

-A pregnancy scare between two of the managers at the next store that I worked at--a married guy in his late twenties (total douche who looked like Harry Potter with down syndrome) with a six month year old kid and a woman in her mid twenties who already had a child out of wedlock (she is now married to a woman)

-A tall, gorgeous ginger girl who worked behind the customer service desk who would have been a freshman in college if she had been in school at the time made a man out of a bagger who was a junior in high school. She had been a good worker but became totally worthless after they got together. That didn't last, but the guy got married at 24 to another redhead. I can see why he would have a thing for them

-An 18 year old guy who had just started as a bagger and was already married and living with his wife at her grandparents' house made a pass at an openly gay Puerto Rican cashier who worked with us (who was also totally worthless). His wife left him a few months after that, and he is now openly gay himself

-At the last store that I worked at one of the stock clerks who I was friends with walked in on one of the female cashiers blowing another one of the cashiers in one of the coolers in the back while they were off duty. Apparently they had nowhere else to go. That same female cashier had also fooled around with two of our other coworkers and later dated another one of our other coworkers for over a year

-A female cashier there got engaged during her freshman year of college to a guy who worked in produce and also worked part time at a doctor's office (he had some kind of disability). That lasted about 6 months total. She started dating another one of the cashiers right after that; that lasted about 2 weeks, then she thought he was cheating on her with another cashier who worked with us (he definitely was not), which resulted in them breaking up and her quitting. She now has 2 kids out of wedlock

-I briefly dated a girl who I worked with at that last store, but that didn't work out. A few months later she started dating the assistant meat manager, moved in with him after 2 months, and they're married now. Having to work with them both for almost a year after they got together was super awkward. Also, that girl got engaged at 18 and was with her fiance for 4.5 years, but broke up with him right before I started working there because he got her into a ton of debt after he got injured at work and wrecked a car that they bought together, but I later heard that she left him largely because she wanted to date another guy who worked behind the customer service desk at our store. It made sense in hindsight

-A guy who was a bagger at that store who I became friends with who was obese, didn't graduate high school and couldn't pass the GED test, and looked and acted like Bobby Hill, hooked up with one of the cashiers in her car. She was a little chunky and not attractive but she was at least in college, so way too good for him

-An attractive blonde who started working at that last store with me right before I graduated had a boyfriend when she started there, but left him for one of the coworkers who had fooled around with the girl from the cooler story. They went to Korea together to teach English, then moved to Massachusetts together for grad school, then broke up

-Another couple from the last store had dated for a long time and were seemingly happy, then they had a child together right after they finished school, then broke up

-I also heard that the assistant store manager at my last store was never going to get promoted because word got around that he had had an affair with a younger female coworker

Then there were several other seemingly normal relationships between coworkers. I miss working at Publix.

 

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. My batshit-o-meter works but most of the women I've dated and have seemed nice and sweet and then the crazy comes out. I'm absolutely sure this has nothing to do with me personally though.

I was a server and bartender in the industry for three years. Everybody fucked everybody, even the married ones. Except the only hot manager. All the drinking and drugs has a lot to do with what goes on. It was a whole bunch of fun but nobody can sustain that kind of lifestyle for long. Or at least I couldn't.

 

Industry discounts are supposed to be based on respect and mutual shared experience. Too often that gets confused with entitlement and demands, cause a lot of the people in the "industry" are worthless leeches. One of my close friends/FWB is a waitress at a club in downtown. Its something she does as she grinds through the underpaid nonsense of sports marketing entry level, so she's not really an industry person. But the discounts I've gotten with her, that haven't been directly related to people she knows, have been either someone recognizing her or overhearing her telling me about work while we are sitting at a bar, and the discounts just appear without any conversation or asking. That stuff is cool. Being like "hey, I work at XX bar, can I get a discount", thats weak as hell.

In terms of my personal experiences with work dalliances, they have been limited. I worked at an ad agency for 3 years in my mid 20s with A LOT of attractive women. Unfortunately most of them were 22-23 new grads, which was great for hotness but not for drama. Hooking up with someone in a class, or study group, or student organization in college is much different than a coworker, and most didnt realize that. So seeing how most of the shook out, I avoided it. I only hooked up with 2.

-One was an aforementioned newer girl who made various attempts I rebuffed before she met me out late one night and I just said fuck it, and very much enjoyed it. She was chill about it, but was very much into collecting scalps and hated being told no, so she tried to bounce around the office a bit. At least I was first.

-The other was an older team lead. She was 30-ish while I was 27. Completely understood being discreet, was super coy about it at work, and carried on for awhile. She taught me a lot and was overall just a really positive influence in my life at the time.

I had a crush on a different coworker for the entirety of my time there. Loud, outspoken Greek girl who had too much in common with me personality wise, which was a bad thing. Would have been volatile. Unfortunately she had a BF most of the time we worked together. We were 95% of the way to getting together at an event about 2 months before I left for a new job, but she lost her wallet during the evening and that ruined the vibe. We planned to go out later but she met a guy who she is now engaged to, and thats that.

 

It is just one of those things I guess. I've been working there for about a year and 9 months while she has been there about 10 months or so. I'm the head/mostly only bartender and she is a waitress towards the top of the waitstaff hierarchy. We definitely aren't the first employees to fuck around and surely won't be the last. Hell it happened again tonight. I guess I'm just gonna go along for the ride (pun intended) and play it by ear. The worst that can happen can't be all that bad.

 

My great uncle killed the man he found sleeping with his wife. At the time they called it a crime of passion and he only served a few years. I would think a murder suicide is highly unlikely. I think its more likely he just takes out our friend here