An exchange in this weeks WDT indicated that this subject might have legs; my problem is how to correctly phrase the focus. Here goes: Some posters argue that seeing same-sex images in sexual/erotic context is disgusting. Right up there with seeing someone eat worms or Two Girls and a Cup. Others *cough*Nom*cough* argue that certain images have merit purely from an artistic standpoint, and besides that, same-sex images can be erotic and hot. At the very least, they shouldn't provoke a visceral, gut-churning reaction when observed. What's your take? Are men who are repulsed by gay images homophobic? Is seeing two girls kiss hot? I guess the topic of this could be how sexual gender stereotypes are processed within our culture.
I don't really have a problem with looking at a man and acknowledging that he is attractive, but if I were forced to watch gay porn, it would definitely be uncomfortable. It's not nearly the same reaction to the 2 girls 1 cup stuff which I can't even begin to stomach (as soon as I saw the poo, I immediately x'ed out the window) but it's not really something I can watch without feeling.....weird. At the same time, I never really got that much of a kick out of lesbian porn or watching girls make out, so I don't know, maybe I'm just weird.
Remember Bruno? What a lightning rod. We can debate if it was funny or not (it was) but I was surprised how many people walked out just because they saw a big swinging penis. I don't know anything about all this erotic artsy shit. But I do know half the guys who go to desperate lengths to express how much they love pussy and can't look at a dick without cringing have some issues. Paging someone to bring up that scale that says we are all on a big Gayness Spectrum. Oh, and is seeing two girls kissing hot? Really? Does the Pope shit in the woods?
I guess it comes down to what distinction the individual can make between eroticism and appreciation of form. Obviously, a large part of that comes from the delivery, ie comparing the statue of David with your run of the mill gay porn. Both contain images of naked men; one is a world renowned piece of art and the other may get you lynched in certain states.
Obviously, big fan of two hot women. Two guys? Yeah, not so much, I don't get nauseous at the thought, just more of a 'no thanks' and move on.
Two guys is a visceral reaction. It's not sex. It is a battle of wills played out on a leopard skin rug. Two chiseled gaywads grappling each other in Grecco-Roman wrestling, matching might, sinewy muscle bulging at turgid seems until the other submits; an anachronistic duel for the ages! One can almost taste the sweat, the agony on his brow. Who will be the victor? Will you not yeild as your balls slap against carpet and thighs, dangle precariously near your enemy's mouth?!?! And who will be cowed before a cock like Andre The Giant's neck?! NAY not cowed, but split in twain in an eruption of flesh, lube, and shit until it looks like The Manson Family meets a Salt N' Peppa video. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?! Yeah, I really, really don't care. It doesn't gross me out, but I don't seek it out. There has to be a vagina in the mix somewhere for me to get turned on. As long as that happens, they can do whatever they want that doesn't involve farm animals. I like watching DP porn with fat cocks splitting some poor girl's holes wide open. I've seen two fellas get way too comfortable with each other while fisting a chick. I'm fascinated by a woman that will play with her lover's ass. Fine. Seems like a non-issue really. What'd be interesting to poll is how many folks here have done or would do a MMF threesome.
I'll go right ahead and third this. I'm not going to flip out when I see it. It's more of a "No thank you. I prefer not to see that." It's just personal preference. And why is that such a big deal? Our parents represent (relatively) normal (I should say I'm loathe to use the word normal, but there you go) heterosexual couples. Should we want to watch our folks having sex? I'm gonna guess no. Probably not, no.
I don't think that the issue is in the "choosing not to see it", it is in the deep violent reaction that most men seem to have when it is accidentally sprung upon them. Most of the times when you see an image that you find distasteful, you click it closed and go about your day. Somehow this is not the case when an unexpected penis image pops up. Like they are afraid the gay is going to rub off on them somehow.
That's such a cop out. There is a huge difference between incestual sex and gay sex. That's akin to someone saying they're turned on by lions fucking or kids. It's a perversion for the sake of this "argument." Deviant, maladjusted, or psychosis sex isn't in the same league as typical spousal coupling. Unless the homosexual couple is fucking their own kid, then it can be labeled deviant. Obviously.
I do not understand the intense reaction as opposed to just turning it off or closing the window either. Concerning as a woman I was always opposed to it. It seemed like the guys would be too dominant or something. This was until I read the blog entry from theovereducatednympho.com about the subject. It totally changed my opinion on the possibility in certain circumstances after reading about it from a female point of view.
You don't think you're making a kinda, sorta leap there? Some people would be fine with seeing my folks have sex. I say that because there doesn't seem to be any shortage of old people boning pics/vids on the net. I wouldn't. Similarly there are plenty of people who would have absolutley no issue with seeing two dudes going buckwild on each other. Again, I say that since there doesn't seem to be any shortage of pics/vids of it on the net. I wouldn't. But you know, fucking lions and fucking kids. Same ballpark, really. And that's what I was trying to point out. I just avoid or simply close it out. I don't find the tallest building in northern Indiana and chuck my laptop off it, on the off chance I see it on my computer, out of fear it might transmit the gay to me. That might qualify as an overreaction.
Male homosexuality makes me uncomfortable. I'm not opposed to it on principle; I think that if you're gay, your love for someone else is just as strong and real as a heterosexual couple. But when I see two guys kissing, I look / walk away. It's just not something that I enjoy seeing. I don't think this is wrong; it's just my own reaction, and I strongly believe that my own discomfort shouldn't have anything to do with how they're treated. I do agree with the statement that people who are ridiculously homophobic are usually concealing homosexual tendencies themselves. They're trying to manufacture discomfort to compensate for the fact that they're actually into it.
My reaction to gay porn is the same as my reaction to old people porn, facial abuse porn, etc. - cringe, click the little x. It's internal revulsion, just a gut reaction. Doesn't have anything to do with homophobia. I think the people who say that a "violent reaction"* is common are constructing a bit of a strawman here - I really can't think of that many guys who would have that reaction to it. *Like what? Throw the computer out the window? Hulk out and punch the first thing you see? Come on.
Homophobic. I am not so sure it means what you think it means. There's a range of things that it could actually refer to, and immediate revulsion or discomfort at even seeing something portrayed artistically is up there. Does it make you a bad person? Not at all. We all have irrational phobias and stereotypes, it's how we manage and deal with them that makes our character. Is it your fault? Not even a little bit. These sorts of gut reactions have everything to do with what you were exposed to and how you're socialized. If you grew up in some culture where dicks and gay sex were just normal things you might see at the market, you'd probably lose that reaction pretty quickly. Hell, if you just spent three days looking at nothing but men fucking, by the end of it, your reaction would probably be boredom. Still -- the fact that it's not a moral judgment doesn't mean that there isn't something -phobic about seeing something and thinking "I can't even look at this." If somebody said that every time they saw a picture or video of a spider they had to close it, what would you call them? What if it was a GAY spider? Did I just blow your head? Mind? Whatever?
I don't think there is anything wrong with being uncomfortable with gay porn or homosexual images. I don't think anyone should claim be be offended by them, but if it's not your thing, there is nothing wrong with not appreciating it. The world includes people who are uncomfortable with any form of nudity. I lump it in with that, where it's just a personal preference. The issue is when people get up in arms over it. Nudity is part of life. Also, this seems kind of relevant: http://soundcloud.com/adam-8-1/patton-oswalt-the-best
The problem is, is that there is a wide range of the meaning of that word and it has become another blanket term like racism or misogyny. Group's that are supposed to be helping fight it turn around and label just about any negative reaction to homosexuality as homophobic in the most hardlined sense of the word. I remember on the old board this discussion came up and someone mentioned walking in on their randomly assigned gay dorm roommate blowing some dude. The poster requested to be transferred to a different room the same day. Of coarse someone labeled it as a complete over reaction and more homophobic than Hitler. They wouldn't have done the same thing if it was two fat fuck hetero's etc. Someone chimed in about fat-hog-beast-phobia, and sarcastically suggested we should all except fat-hog-beast-sex by having people forced into cognitive behavior therapy where their fat hog beast roommates have sex in front of them (shit was a funny ass post I had it saved in a word document of funny post for a long time).
Well, why do you think people are so keen to distance themselves from the word homphobia as much as possible? Because they don't understand the word? Or, as is alluded to in the Billy Burr vid, everyone considered homphobic is immediately lumped in with the pieces of shit that beat homosexuals to death a la Matt Shepard? edit: Since Kubla posted something similar I should add a bit more. It's very difficult to find middle ground in an issue like this since people (in general, not necessarily on this board) seem averse to finding any happy medium. Because it's easy to label all homophobes as dicks rather than acknowledging that there's probably a spectrum ranging from "Not my cup of tea" to "Larry Craig".