i recently had to ask a fairly prominent donor and businessman to kindly stop calling me son. we are not close, we do not interact outside of a business setting and i'm in my mid 30s. i have long outgrown being called son or boy by quite a stretch. however, i tend to call most all women ma'am, an unforgivable transgression for some women who live on the east coast, apparently. focus- what do you dislike being called outside of the typical inappropriate name lexicon and why?
i can not stand being called 'mr. vi' - when people do that, i instantly correct them with the following: "my father was mr. vi, and he's dead, so there's no mr. vi" i prefer everyone call me by my first name (and in large part because people find my last name difficult to pronounce, so it avoids having to correct them every damn time). other than that, not a whole lot bothers me, 'slick,' 'champ,' 'boy,' 'son,' etc. whatever. i'm curious what the ladies have to say, because i suspect they get a lot more of this type of thing thrown at them.
this is a pet peeve of mine, i think it's rude if you can't get someone's name correct. i hate it when some asshole shortens your name for you. robert-rob, gregory-greg, donald-don, etc. boy, son, sport, chief, squirt, champ and all of that shit will get you a blank stare at best. i say "dude" and "man" more than is appropriate for 5 idiotic teenagers combined. gotta work on that.
there is not a single woman on the eastern seaboard north of georgia that likes being called "ma'am." i dont like the son or the kid thing either. my biggest peeve is being asked how old i am. i had a board chairman ask my age when i was giving his committee some bad news on a growth area they were excited about. what a fucking shit head. you can condescend all you want dickhead, your margin is taking a tailspin and im still charging you my billable rate. you might as well listen to what i have to say. you'd think that the bigger and more prestigious the client, the more that would be prevalent but its the exact opposite. i get treated with way more respect by my fortune 500's and marquee clients than the rinky dink ones. fucking how old i am. go suck your grandfathers wrinkly cock you dickbag.
only english language-learners are allowed to call me "miss" at school. i write my name on the board every time i go into a classroom, and i expect kids to read it. it's gotten to the point where there is a rumor throughout the district that calling me "miss" gets you written up. i don't write anyone up ever unless they are violent, but my disdain for being called "miss" has reached that level.
nurses seem to think that calling you "honey" or "sweetheart" or "dear" is a perfectly appropriate thing to say in a professional context. to which i reply, "if i were a 40 something year old man and you were a 20 something year old woman and i called you those things, what would you think of me?". people seem to realize the inherent creepiness when men do it, but the justification that they were just being nice or that i shouldn't get so riled up about it is bullshit. otherwise i get asked my age way too much. i mean, i am rather young, and look even younger, but i've only recently graduated from being a 14 year old to a 17 year old. again, in professional circles. when i first moved into a position where i had staff, one of them asked me how old i was as basically the first thing she ever said to me. yup, winning favours there, aren't you. i also have an annoying nickname that came about because my last name is too long and difficult to pronounce. i have precisely one person to blame for this, and it's because apparently we all went to british boarding schools and refuse to call people by their first name. god damn.
i had a nickname in 8th grade that stuck with me for a few years. big titted mama. i'm glad that one went away.
when i first met my husband, he would call me "tits". i thought it was hysterical and was kind of impressed he actually called me that to my face. also, being recently married, i'm still not used to the whole "mrs." thing. a high school friend of mine called me mrs. the other day and i shot her a look and told her that's my mother-in-law and to never call me that again. it just sounds so weird to me. people do shorten my name all the time though, and it doesn't bother me unless i really don't like them. my old boss had super adhd and never completed a sentence, let alone a name. he would get off the phone with his wife, and then ask me for something and automatically call me "hun". the first time, it really creeped me out, but after that we would just laugh it off.
i think the ma'am thing is a pretty southern part of speech that has respectful connotations to it. but i can see how it would make chicks feel old. especially east coasters. especially because its a contraction for madam. i don't think i've ever called a woman, 'madam'. but i do think its fun to call some of my patients ma'am. i have a lot of pediatric patients and the little kids get called ma'am and sir. makes them feel important and they act pretty cute and more grown up than if you treat them like they are 4. i once got called 'son' by someone who was only a few years older than me in a professional setting. but he was my superior so he felt like it was okay to put me in my place that way. i called him dad a couple times after that and he stopped. a lot of people call me 'sir' and i find it weird. especially if they are older than me. but when gorgeous women do it, i get boner. doesn't matter the age(as long as they are legal). some of my patients are a lot of these young professional crossfit type chicks in their 20's-30's. if they call me sir, i typically tell them i'm not old enough to be a sir and we laugh it off, but in reality, i'm now picturing them naked.
i don't mind buddy, or man, or dude but i cannot stand guy. also, until i was in 7-8th grade, i went by my full first name, but i felt like i outgrew that. think john instead of jonathan. now, if there's somebody i knew when i was younger, but haven't seen in awhile, they'll call me jonathan. if it's a dude, it just sounds sing-songy and patronizing, and drives me crazy. if it's a girl, it doesn't seem to bother me. went away?! how the name above your avatar hasn't already been changed to big titted mama, especially considering your current state of being knocked up, i cannot figure out.
don't call me "boss". i understand that in county you only refer to people as "boss" or "goof" but i am not a corrections guard and you're not in jail.
this isn't perfectly in line with the focus, but for some reason guys immediately think it's okay to swear in front of me in a professional setting. don't get me wrong, i'm a fucking potty mouth and my favorite swear word is cunt, but i always have my profanity filter on when i meet someone for the first time and adjust it as i get to know them. it started happening few years ago. whenever i'd meet with a salesman/consultant/business owner/whatever they'd start pulling out the fucks, shits and god damn its as soon as they would start talking to me. it doesn't offend me, but i was surprised that they were so bold to just assume that i would be okay with it. i always try to look and act professional when at work, and i know it's not my appearance, because it has happened on the phone numerous times. it must be something about the tone of my voice that brings the profanity out of people. for all they know, i could be a hard core christian and quit doing business with them on the spot because of their language.
for some reason the co-founders of my new company don't like it when i call them a fucking idiot, even if i have graphs and charts and stuff to back it up.
i don't have any issues with this. granted, i am not in an office or business environment anymore, but i knew a lot of these types growing up too. one way some asshole doesn't develop a nickname for you is to go up, make eye contact, and squeeze the ever loving shit out of his hand, and reiterate your name is "stephen" not "stevie." otherwise you're not showing enough respect or manliness or some crap. seems to work pretty well. same thing with the ladies. it's a power play. their little nicknames are meant to be cute, but they're also subconsciously letting you know what they think of you. in other words, treat them like animals instead of peers or contemporaries. my teacher friends all get called "miss." that shouldn't fly. make an example out of the first lazy shit that won't call you by your proper name. i'm not one to stand on ceremony, but the classroom is the absolute perfect place to learn elder respect. because a prospective employer would love being called miss.
i hate being called "bro." this has died down some since i graduated from college, but if you aren't my actual brother and use the term (or any variation) i'm going to assume you're a tool.
what's so wrong about ma'am (unless visibly younger....like 15 or younger)? i refer to all people as sir and ma'am when i meet them. is that not the polite thing to do now? hell, i even say sir when people are rude, what are we without manners?
focus: i don't really get bothered by much. its weird to get called mr. jwags, but i realized much of that is just a function of the service industry and what they are trained as, so its not a big deal to me. i definitely use "dude" and "man" too much. not like i'm jeff spicoli, but when i pass coworkers in the hall i'll toss out "'sup dude" or "hey man, hows it going", just naturally. i say bro alot, but its joking enough that its been compartmentalized to my friends. i wish more people called me "guvna" tho
"boss" is something that i first started hearing in college. it was the old ny & nj men with raspy voices in service jobs that always did it. i find it highly annoying, i get that you're helping me out here, but i'm not paying you shit, i'm not your boss. my first real name is tied to a major movie so there are nicknames that spawn from that. everyone i first meet says the line and asks without a hint of self-awareness "has anyone ever said that to you before?" my entire name is shared with a musician so upon first meeting me fans of that guy ask me if i've listened to his music. i haven't. i don't get the rage against the mr/ms. last name. if someone calls me mr. parker i answer. you are that person, parents or not. i don't get it. does it make you feel old? do you not wish to be respected? i've been hearing that more and more and don't get it. every time someone uses it for me i'm usually being treated very well or the few times i'm at the doctor/dentist/dmv.