I'll be your huckleberry, if you'll be my Tinderella

http://imgur.com/gallery/MYBan

Focus: Tinder
Thoughts, suggestions, experiences?

 

If you're the type of guy who has good game, can hook up easily, then Tinder makes it that much easier. My friend absolutely cleans up with it. Couple flirty texts, then if she seems into it, he cuts to the chase. He picked up a milf in minutes. Within a couple hours of the initial text they were smoking weed on her porch and fucking by the pool.

I've not used it, but it looks great. You have the benefit of relying on your wit, which is great if you get nervous striking up a conversation with strangers in public. Tinder gives you the opportunity to skip all that shit. But if you are horrifically ugly and so awkward golden labs won't even let you pet them, then god help you anyway, son.

Does it cheapen the emotional experience, make people rely less on their personalities? Who gives a shit when you get sperglord gold like these:

 

Tinder circa early 2013 was incredible. I had the best run of both quality and quantity of my adult dating life. I think part of the success for me that others didn't have was the fact that I'm a pretty big texter and didn't have a huge problem with patience. I realized that the app was inherently a bit creepy, even for outgoing girls, so I never rushed anything. Ive heard from tons of girls, that went into it open minded, that they were turned off by dude's being offensively forward. Basically treating it like Grindr thinking it was really going to be like "hey, hows it going, let fuck." Not to say that doesn't happen, but it wasn't my experience at all. I had no problem matching, chatting, moving to phone numbers and text, and letting it progress for a week or two before meeting up. At that point, you had an idea of what personalities were like, you'd exchanged social media info so there was no surprises, and it was usually really chill. I went on dates with 10-12 girls, hooked up with most, dated 3-4 and even took one as a date to an out of town wedding.

I think for me, it was less that it was a hook-up app, and more that it contained a collection of girls who wouldn't normally do "online dating" and they all had a pretty easygoing and carefree nature to it. At the time, a lot of my friends were slowing down socially, some getting married, and the social network I had built was changing, so it was a god send. Now, its garbage. At least in major metros where its been around for 2+ years, its gotten to be like Match or OkCupid, the profile section went from a witty or clever comment to a full on "just a fun loving girl looking to explore the city with someone special. I like this, and this, and especially this. No hookups please!" And early on, there was a pretty equal adoption rate, so you could get tons of matches and conversations. Now its like any other site and has WAY more thirsty guys than attractive girls.

RIP Tinder glory days. I will say, if it had existed when I was in college, I would have absolutely had a phew runs of penicillin.

 

I'm cautious of it. My brother uses it and he has a bastard of a time with it, it seems. He says it is so shitty and hardly works out.

 

I've had a pretty terrible time with Tinder and online dating in general. It's pretty disheartening to have the majority of your messages go completely ignored, but I think that's just the reality of the situation for any guy who isn't unusually good looking.

Realistically, on Tinder, how am I going to stand out from the other 20 guys messaging every match I get? I'm reasonably good looking - ok, so be clever... how clever of an opener can I really come up with from seeing a few of her pictures and reading a generic blurb about how she loves hiking? (Has anyone ever not listed fucking hiking as an interest on their dating profile?)

Obviously in "real life" dating your odds of success are low with any individual woman you see as well, but you can at least talk to them... even if you get turned down, at least your existence has been acknowledged.

 

My favorite is when under "interests" they list something to the tune of "just ask or if I list something we won't have anything to talk about."

 

Just say ridiculous shit. Disregard their interests unless its something you can really build something funny around. On Tinder, the more random and bizarre your opener, the more likely you get a response of some kind.

 

GradeUnderA covers this well in his videos here, from a dude's perspective:

 

So... I've been using Tinder lately. Trying to, anyway: So far, when I get a match I message her, get a push update on my phone that she replied, then the conversation has disappeared. One of them actually contributed a bit to said conversation before disappearing. Are they all swiping right by mistake? I'm not sending dick pics, pretty much the opposite: "Hey, what's up? Nice picture, you photograph well." Her: "Match! " Me: "Point, set... What are you up to? Just a lazy weekend for me." (discussion disappears)

I have to wonder: Is the dick pic/sexting/other rude approach something women swear they hate, but the unflattering aspects of evolutionary biology dictate will work? In any case, I'm doing something wrong here... Christ, I just want to get laid.

(pardon the emoticons, just quoting)

 

TJMax, you're being WAY too chill. This isn't a party or date. From earlier JWags stories, you need to jump into a topic and ask her thoughts on it. Music, movies, food, something. Never say you're doing nothing. If she's trying to picture you, while talking to you "Just a lazy weekend for me" causes her to think of an unshaved dude sitting on his couch in basketball shirts and stained white T. Look at just what JWags said, just say something different and unexpected...not sexual. Be doing something or about to do something, make it sound like you have an active or interesting life.

 

"I just got done washing and waxing the dog."

 

I've had one Tinder date and it was the most horribly awkward thing I have ever done. We had a severe language barrier, to the point that the girl could barely understand what I was saying. There wasn't enough alcohol to get into my body fast enough.

I don't use Tinder at home because I live in a tiny little town, which is pretty much why I haven't had more success out of it. I do use it when I'm out of town. I get a fair number of matches and frequently enough strike up a conversation with a girl who seems interested, but either they don't like that I'm from out of town, or scheduling gets in the way (I'm assuming everyone is completely open and honest about all of these things... right?).

I do love reading the tinder subreddit, though: http://www.reddit.com/r/tinder Comedy gold, all the time.

Also relevant:

 

Pretty much this. One of the worst things you can say to a potential dating interest is that you have nothing going on or are always available.

Make yourself seem busier and less available. "Oh, I think I might be able to do something next week" or "I may have plans with 'friends' then but I'll see if something free up soon."

Put yourself in their shoes. Do you think they find a guy attractive who seemingly has no interesting social life to speak of?

 

My friend's tinder profile reads this:

"Congratulations you just hit the fucking lottery. Your thumb is probably broken from swiping right so fast as expected and understandable. Hipsters need not swipe right. You guys smell and don't shower. When I shower it is usually with two women and with their consent, mind you. I don't even have the word beta in my vocabulary. My spirit animal is the rooster because it is the most alpha fucking animal known to mankind. You ready to put on your big girl pants?"

This. This, is a douche profile. He has had 5 matches in under two weeks. Drilled a tinder girl on Friday night. She also bled all over his mattress, but whatever. You can't make an STD slush without forgetting your period is coming. The point is, he is just dicking around and people respond to that one way or the other. At least they won't forget it. His follow up game is also pretty good.

Build a lifestyle, be able to talk about it passionately, THEN SARGE THE SHIT OUTTA DAT, HO. FEELS ME, SON?

 

Precisely. That shit is different, it makes the girl go "What the fuck?" in the right way. It makes them curious, it puts you above the clutter, above the "nice guys" they can find hovering at their feet telling them they're pretty. That profile right there weeds out the chicks who are just dicking around on Tinder. There are girls who install it for 3-4 days (or minutes), don't like what happens then deletes it. Repeat 2-3 months (days) later, and so on, and so-on. You don't want them, being bold weeds that out.

 

Does anyone else love parody Tinder accounts? I do. This is one I've made and use sporadically:

Spoiler: Monty Python joke

Unsurprisingly, I've had no matches with it.

 

(nods) Hopefully my reps went through on my phone earlier. Good advice all around; sounds like the ideal medium I need between the lameness I posted above and full retard/dick pics (I'd say the virtuous mean but let's face it, my intentions aren't the least bit virtuous).