This one should focus more on general stuff and not just sexual conquests IMO. Personally, I have no regrets. Ever.
1. Never having Dad or Grandpa teach the best card trick in the universe to me. 2. Passing on buying a ticket for this show because it was a little pricey and I didn't feel like driving to Santa Monica on a weeknight. The fucking Byrds reunited, unannounced, and Warren Zevon played.
This is sappy I know... While growing up my first love was baseball. I lived and breathed to play the game. From the age of 6 till I blew my knee out at 16 every waking moment was spent on baseball. My father was never an athlete and thought I was wasting my time. He just couldn't understand my obsession with the game. I think he was secretly happy when my knee blew up while playing basketball and that I'd finally come around to his way of thinking since I couldn't play sports any longer. Oh boy did I have a surprise for him...I went to my room and started concentrating on playing guitar. Christ almighty did that piss him off. I was his only son and in his mind I was wasting my time, first on sports and then on music. For most of my life my father and I had a very distant relationship. When he passed away I was going through his papers and found some very worn out small town newspaper clippings that mentioned my name and my ball playing along with damn near every flyer my band had put out advertising one of our gigs. Thankfully a couple of years before he died we found some common ground and got to know each other as friends. We fought like hell a lot of the time, but it was always forgotten soon. We'd both retreat to our separate corners and stew for a bit and then it was over and forgotten. Anyways, in a long, roundabout way my greatest regret is that I didn't at some point in time toss my old man a glove and say "C'mon, let's play catch."
Two major regrets: 1. Going to law school. 2. Not forging a better relationship with my father (or read: being too stubborn to realize that some concessions aren't surrenders, and winning battles may satisfy in the short term, but when you lose sight of what you were fighting for, they are all hollow victories).
As great as that sounds it's asinine because everyone has regrets (even if they refuse to admit it) since no one is perfect. I regret quitting the basketball my sophmore year because I was struggling in calculus. I never use calc, got a D anyways, and memories of derivatives now cloud my memory.
The only one I really have is this: At 18, two days before I was going to Chicago to start boot camp, my friends took me to a strip club in St. Cloud, MN. It was a friggin tuesday or something like that, so it was very quiet in there. My buddies bought me a dance from the girl I thought was the hottest in there, and we hit it off really well. After the dance, she just hung around and we bullshitted for like an hour. She invited me to come back to her place after she got off work to smoke weed with her and some of the other girls. I turned her down, because I was supposed to drive back to Minneapolis and work the last day of my joe-job. Retarded. Then again, if I'd smoked with her, I probably would've popped on the piss test in boot and gotten kicked out right away. Then again, if I did that, maybe I'd have gone to college. Damn. I need to time travel to my old body with this mind.
I still feel bad talking about this almost 20 years later. When I was a kid, maybe 10 or 11, I kicked a guy in the balls for no reason on a dare from my friend. He was a nice guy, I'm not prone to violence, and there was really no context or reason or excuse. He was badly hurt and had to leave school for the day. I narrowly avoided suspension from the administration. I can't begin to describe how bad I felt about that for years. It probably took a good 2 or 3 years before I could think about it without feeling nauseous. It remains, to this day, the only time in my life I've deliberately hurt someone and I hope to never, ever do anything like that again, even by accident. As an epilogue, we re-connected a few years back thanks to the miracle of Facebook. All was forgiven and then, unexpectedly about six months after that, he was killed in a car accident. I still don't know what to think about that.
(1) Smoking Cigarettes. Self-Explanatory (2) Not having $52.50 USD to bang out two gorgeous French Hookers in Paris with my best friend. Self Explanatory.
Conversion rates my friend. It was pre-euro, so the going rate was 400FF for both of us to catch the stink-rod.
Not listening to my Mom when she told me my ex was a bad person. I paid for that in many ways, it still effects me to this day and it's been years and years. But bigger than that, not getting my dog back he stole when we split because I was too afraid of him and what he'd do.
I have too many to list. I'd say the main one is I'd go to a different college. I went to a small shitty college in North Dakota. If I could do it again I would go somewhere out of state that would have forced me to make my own friends.
I chose the wrong college. Many of you here know where I go. I picked 'prestige' over the actual academic challenge and/or a fun experience. It hasn't been bawl-my-eyes-out or anything, but I would have enjoyed elsewhere more.
Not staying on the farm in Australia, or not staying in Australia in general. Convincing myself that somehow Portland was better than Victoria. They are equal amounts of horrible and at least Victoria had all my friends. Anti-focus: The one thing I have never regretted despite everyone telling me I would is getting a puppy, even though I'm only 22. Everyone tried to convince me that you need the perfect set of circumstances to get a dog, but I realized as long as you are dedicated to taking care of one, you don't need a perfect house with a big yard, and taking care of my puppy has elucidated so many points on adulthood that I could never quite grasp before.
When I was 17-18 years old my grandfather was in the hospital dying with cancer. I didn't really know him that well because he had lived in a different state my whole life. He moved to my hometown for the last 2 years of his life after he found out he was terminally ill. I was more into partying and chasing women at that age, that compounded with hanging out in a nursing home with your dying grandpa is a real drag, and long story short, I didn't go see him very often. This is my biggest regret, I didn't know him very well, but I loved him anyway. I wish I had spent more time with him and gotten to know him better before he died.
Drinking and allowing myself to drive when a stranger asked me for a ride. I ended up doing a single rollover and he broke his neck. Although everyone was fine in the end and the car wasn't too bad off, I will have to deal with the repercussions for a while longer. 4 years probation 4 months house arrest 1 weeks of alcohol and behavior therapy 1 year 3 months of driving privilege lost Can't frequent any place that sells alcohol $69k restitution and $1.3 mill civil suit Before this, I had a squeaky clean record. Guy drink all you want, just don't drive. $20 cab ride is always worth it in the end.
Not having the balls to be a man in my last relationship. I put up with her drama and bullshit because I didn't want to lose her-basically became a pussy to try and please her and lost her anyway- probably because I was a pussy. Live and learn.
I regret only spending 110 days /played in Everquest during adolescence. I was so close to getting the power up and winning the game.
Actually thinking things would work out after all with a girl. It ended in september '08 and that's how its gonna stay. Won't let you, or anyone else, do that to me again...new years/life resolution, how bout that?
I regret not going to college. Granted I probably would have bombed my SATs anyway because I suck at math (and I went on to become a bookkeeper - go figure) but I didn't even try and now it blows to have to struggle. My oldest son already knows that I will wring his goddamn neck if he doesn't go to college. I've probably even said that to him in so many words.