Irreversible Damage

Out of six children, I'm the only one who was conceived on purpose. After my younger brother happened, my father decided to cut off the fertile grounds and get the whole snip snip. A vasectomy is normally not a big deal, medically-speaking. It's out patient, really quick, relatively low risk, just local anesthesia. Except I guess my father's doctor missed the part where that anesthesia was supposed to be in the locale of the procedure (I like to think the doctor did it on purpose, because fuck that guy).... yeah my father felt his vasa deferentia being cut and sutured.

Which brings me to my wife being pregnant now, and how after we have our second child the plan is for me to get a vasectomy. Yes, I know that it is technically reversible, but you'd have a better chance shooting a clay pigeon with a slingshot than you would knocking someone up after it.

Hopefully the I don't succumb to the same fate. I'm thinking of just telling them to knock me out. I can't imagine the pain of feeling my ball sack being cut into.

Focus: What have you done that caused irreversible damage? Tattoo of Miley Cyrus? Fucked your brother's wife?

Alt. Focus: What extreme lengths have you gone to in order to cover up a fuckup? Covered up the Miley tattoo with one of Carrie Fischer (too soon)? Threw your brother's wife off the balcony after you fucked her?

 

I had a vasectomy 20 years ago just after I found out the wife and I were having twins. When they start coming out two at a time, it is time to end things. The odds of reversing a vasectomy are getting better all the time so I would never say it is irreversible.

Focus: I just fucked up a mini mag light trying to remove a corroded battery. They are not expensive, but this one happened to be a 20 year old gift from my mom and did have some sentimental value.

 

Fingers crossed on this shit: https://www.parsemusfoundation.org/projects/vasalgel/

Prognosis looks good, supposed to go into human trials in 2017.

 

Focus: A couple years into my first marriage I realized I had made a big mistake. But I was a Christian and so took the "I made my bed and now I have to lay in it" road. A few years after that we had a kid. A few years after that I was at the point of no return - deeply unhappy, no longer a believer, keeping secrets. We finally got divorced. The irreversible damage is of course having a kid when I am unhappy in my marriage. If I had the self-awareness years earlier to understand what I know now, we'd have split pre-kid and she wouldn't have had to grow up going between two homes every week. She's a remarkable kid, and resilient, but there will always be some level of clusterfuck going on that there wouldn't be otherwise.

(I mean, I'd have loved the self-awareness much earlier and not gotten married in the first place, but that is reversible damage - parenthood is permanent.)

 

I've done similar things with female friends. Multiple times.

Her: Me and {douchebag} are engaged!
Me: Dear God that's a terrible idea. Break off the engagement right meow.
Her: Why can't you just be happy for me?

::smash cut to divorce four years later::

 

Focus: I have a bad habit of burning bridges like a sociopathic arsonist when I get insecure or worried. I've ended many relationships with women because it got to the point where I had to explain something I did that might've come across as odd (behaviors mainly related to my anxiety that i was embarrassed by) and wouldn't know how to or was uncomfortable allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone. So instead of having a tough conversation like a healthy person, I would just never talk to them again. Way better decision right?

I've also told a few bosses off and they asked me to not come back. At the time, regrettable sure, now, now that I'm in a different place and don't have to worry about that potential career track, I don't regret it.

 

After my second creature arrived I got a vasectomy last year. I had a twilight sedation and I highly recommend it. If you haven't had it, they give you a mix of fentanyl and valium once they wheel you in to the room. I lost all concept of time and at one point I looked up and saw smoke coming off my junk which didn't even bother me. I just laid there watching the electricity travel through the light bulbs, it was amazing. I asked for a to go cup of that stuff but they were pretty firm on not letting that happen.

 

The worst part of the vasectomy was the cauterizing.

Nothing like the smell of burning flesh and a tinge of smoke and realizing it's your junk being singed.

A close second is sitting in the waiting room for almost 3 hours THINKING about your sack being cut open, stuff being pulled and snipped, and a stitch or 2 after.

I thought seriously of just walking out once or twice.


Edited: I did NOT have the "twilight sedation"... just a Valium and a local anesthetic beforehand.

 

You're asking ME this question?

Anyway, about vasectomies: I had tried to get one after Li'l Bandit was born, when I was 18, but nobody would do it for me; said I was too young and didn't have enough kids.
I still haven't gotten it done after all these years, and have managed to not knock up anymore women. It's always in the back of my mind, though, something that I'm going to do "one of these days."
I don't want another kid; Li'l Bandit was perfect, and I know that I'd always be comparing a new kid to him (hell, I compare other people's kids to him), thereby giving that kid a tall order to fill.

 

What if even with the vasectomy you still get her pregnant?

 

.

Then a divorce is in order.

 

I was talking about the random girl at the bar he hooks up with.

 

If you follow the instructions afterwards, and the followup tests a month later show you are clean, you probably are not going to impregnate anyone. If it does happen it means your cut and cauterized tubes have somehow managed to heal and rejoin in some type of miracle.