With Mother's Day this Sunday, and the sudden rush of sentimental topics on the General Board, I thought it was time to pay tribute to the women who raised us. Focus: What do you appreciate most about Mama Bear? Alt. Focus: To help out some possibly unprepared offspring- Gift ideas for Mother's Day?
What I appreciate most is her passing out during dinner face first almost into her food on a semi regular basis, gotta love how classy my mom is.
I'm an unabashed Mama's boy. Not that I'm pampered or needy, or that my Mom is overbearing, but rather I have an awesome Mom who I inherited alot of characteristics from and I lean on her heavily. My parents outwardly are quite different. My dad is very analytical, super intelligent, conservative, former engineer. He's become a successful business owner, so he's not socially incompetent, but he's like your friend who is just kind of goofy, but you'll never send into the front lines of a social situation. My mom on the other hand is incredibly social, holds her intelligence in human interaction (she has a masters in social work), is really funny, and will start conversations with just about anyone, anywhere, and it wont be awkward. I inherited my intelligence and analytical abilities from my dad, my social fluidity and wit/sense of humor from my mom. As a result, my Mom has always been a large part of my social life. Once I had my first gf and it was no longer weird talking about girls with my Mom, I realized she was a great sounding board for that kind of stuff. I talk to her about pretty much everything (save for sexual matters, cause that is just weird. I have a friend who talks frankly with his mom about sex and thats just strange) and remembered the moment in college when I stopped differing how I talked to my Mom and how I talked to my friends, and it was awesome. She's pretty much universally loved by my friends and I've had 2 exes I'm still friendly with who routinely ask me to pass messages on to my Mom cause they missed hanging out with her. One of whom said it would be intimidating to marry me cause of my Mom. Not because she would be a terrible in-law, but that it would be a tough standard to live up to as a wife, which I thought was really cool and a tremendous compliment in a roundabout way. My Mom absolutely has her flaws, but she's done a pretty remarkable job raising 4 kids all while enduring the ups and downs of a husband starting a company the last 10-15 years. I didn't really start to appreciate her until I was older and now I realized how lucky I am. Love her to death and would be way more of a shithead than I already am if I didn't have her in my life. Appreciate your Moms TIBers!
I had the same conversation earlier today that I have every year. Nosy Office Woman: What are you getting Mrs. Noland for Mother's Day? Noland: Nothing. She's not my mother. NOW: She's the mother of your children. Noland: Then let them buy her or make her something. She's still not my mother. So, what's the consensus here? Is it a holiday for your own particular mother or all mothers in general?
I bought mine an over priced fragrance/soap set from L'Occitane. She likes lavender, so that's what I bought. She was going to get herself some soap from a crappier company. How do I know that? She mentioned it once or twice a couple months ago and I fucking listened. I am going to go out on a limb here. If you don't know what to get your mother, you are a fucking tool. Flowers, fragrance stuff, or take her out to a cliche dinner. It's amazing how far an insipid little Hallmark card will get you even if she says they're stupid. Menopause will make a woman cry during a Folger's commercial. You've known this woman all your life and you don't know her interests? My mom is all I have left, really. We have major, unspoken issues. Let's leave it at that. But I respect her above all else in that she kept a household going for 20 years after my dad died. That woman has seen plenty of misery. I feel like an absolute shit for not doing my fair share in my early 20s and am trying to make up for it now. I also splurge on her instead of blowing my money on ungrateful women. If she's a new mommy, yes. Until the kid can choose their own gift. Say, 5. Once the kid is 5 and can pick something out, then you go get something and put both your names on it. Seems reasonable.
x 1,000. I can't think of anything more wonderful than the fact that she wants nothing to do with me. She's a black hole of ignorance and cruelty.
My mom is the strongest person I know. Although she wears her emotions on her sleeve, she (and my father) have done everything for the three of us and sat by my sisters side when she was going through chemotherapy. Immediately after that, she took a 2 month leave of absense from her job to go be with her mother in Ohio in a hospice facility until she died. Shes been through a lot and still manages to be the kindest person in the world.
I don't know, the approximately $140,000 I've spent in supporting her for the last 7 years hasn't resulted in so much as a birthday card from her, so I'd suggest something else. Flowers, maybe?
What an incredible range of replies... Focus: I appreciate that my mom cares for me to the best of her ability. Whatever space in her head and heart that isn't plagued by some pretty horrible things, she tries her best to give to me, to love me in her strained way. It took me a long way to feel this way, but I also am incredibly grateful that she was able to nurture my younger brother and care for him in a way she couldn't for me. He's a lot more fragile than I am, and if someone needed the limited love she could give, it was him. He turned out a lot better than I did, and I'm so happy that my mom created my wonderful sibling. I am also grateful for the fact that I can recognize my mother as human; she is allowed to be deeply flawed. She fucked a lot of things up, but I'm living and breathing and one tough fucker, so we'll grow. We're working really hard to get close. Love you, Mama Bear. Alt focus: Wine and dinner. Flowers sent to her office, she doesn't like flowers but her coworkers are petty bitches who deserve to gawk in jealousy.
She wants to go get flowers and make hanging baskets together. She is easy. On Easter Sunday I went over and we colored Easter Eggs together and had a blast. It really is more about time spent than anything else. The older I get the more I realize that and, all that shit she used to say and I'd just blow it off, well turns out she was right about most if it. I hate that part.
She's normally perfectly satisfied with flowers, but considering she just went and purchased 4 more vases due to the amount of flowers she's been getting lately (her mum passed away last week), I think this year I might need to put in some extra effort.
Traditionally I go over to her house and do yardwork for her, which she likes. She has a husband for that now, so I don't know what I'll be doing for her this Sunday. If you've traditionally addressed her by some iteration of mother, i.e. mother, mom, grandma, etc., then that's who the holiday is for.
My mother has been dead for 15 years (and I'm glad she's dead), and with the way my ex has been acting lately, she's getting a big helping of Jack with side order of Squat. Fucking made-up holiday... (Before anyone says anything, I don't give a shit about Father's Day either.)