We've done this thread before, but it was a long time ago, and it was fairly entertaining. Plus, given how often new phrases come and go circumstances have changed enough to give a new thread fresh legs. Focus: What commonly used phrases do you hate? - "With all due respect..." It's immediately followed by "go fuck yourself." I'm guilty of using this one sometimes. - "I literally died from laughing." A lot of variations of this, you didn't 'literally' do jack shit, other than what you did. "Give 110 percent." No, just say "give 100 percent" instead. Is that so hard? Alt Focus: What words or sayings that are often misspoken annoy you? - I could care less when people mean I couldn't care less. Just because it's SO common, and how do you say it over and over without realizing you're saying it wrong? - Effect vs affect. Different words. Not interchangeable words. - Supposably instead of supposedly. It sounds so dumb when you say it aloud. - When people purposely misspeak because they think it makes them sound sophisticated. I don't think people who say pooblished actually think it's pronounced that way, but for whatever reason they think it makes them sound smart. Somehow... - Whenever someone uses a $5 word incorrectly when a more common word is more accurate. For example, compliment vs accolade. Alt Alt Focus: What phrases or aphorisms are your favorite?
Focus: "Not fit to eat." Jesus, God almighty does that phrase piss me off. It's the phrase that my dad uses for any food that he doesn't like/recognize. By his definition, the following foods aren't "fit to eat": - Watermelon - Cantaloupe - Bananas - Basically any type of exotic fruit - Sushi; most seafood, for that matter - Many more examples I can't think of right now I remember one time about 15 years ago, when I first began cooking, I made a big pot of soup/stew. I had thrown in a little bit of everything, and it was damn good. The next day, I went to the refrigerator to serve myself a bowl, and it was gone. When I asked my dad what happened to it, he said he threw it out because "it didn't look like it was fit to eat." I was so pissed. Fuck that phrase. Alt. Focus: When people say "fustrate" in stead of frustrate. That shit really frustrates me. Jackasses who pronounce poinsettia as poin-set-ah. Those people should be given a .44 caliber enema.
Focus: Just so you know... never a good thing when someone says that. For example, "you just got a vaccine and just so you know you might get aids" Unfocus: I am a fan of clusterfuck when its used right. Cunt when used appropriately is a good one too. Some people get upset with this phrase because they think its sexist, its not, is as gender specific as fuck is.
FOCUS: "What does good look like?" It looks like a big bag of "fuck yourself", is what it looks like. ALT-FOCUS: "Begs the question". So many people get the usage of that phrase absolutely wrong. It's a form of circular reasoning, it doesn't mean "which makes me want to ask the question". ALT-ALT-FOCUS: Fucktard.
I always liked fucktard, but I feel like the noun form is used too often when the verb form is generally more appropriate. The word paints the image in my head of a retard enthusiastically fucking so when someone says "Wow, he really fucktarded that one." it's often an accurate description of their failing. Anyone who has ever had to work with a really bad mechanic will know what I mean.
FOCUS: "If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" ...so said ten million recently dumped women on Facebook. ALT-FOCUS "Irregardless" they just keep. Fucking. Saying it. "Libary" instead of Library "Nuke-yuh-lurr weapons!!!" ALT-ALT FOCUS "Time is money." Yes it is.
Focus: I would really like to ban "Let that sink in" and "I'll wait" from the internet. Also, I don't know how widespread the word is, but I am getting really sick of "deadass." I never liked it, and then this year all of a sudden it graduated to this filler word where people will say it every other sentence to mean a million different things. I know it is VERY SILLY to do this with slang, but my brain gets so tripped up on it every time because I can't understand how it started to mean what it means. It just makes no sense and sounds gross. If you say "hashtag____" outloud in a genuine way and not a snarky/silly way, I am mentally slapping you across the face. Alt-alt Focus: I've never met a usage of "with the receipts/have the receipts" that I didn't like. I'm also a very big fan of "clap back," both as a verb and a noun. Besides barbeque, my favorite southern import is "bless your/her/his/their heart" in the shady bitch way, and find it even funnier when people shorten it to just "bless." I know it's an office phrase that people hate, but I love saying "circle back." I run hot and cold with the word "cunt" but I LOVE "cuntpunt." It rhymes so it's cute. I have to use it sparingly or else it loses its power, but every time I've said "Y'all motherfuckers need Jesus," I've made a new friend.
Alt-Focus: Un-thaw. You're not about to unthaw your hamburger meat, you're about to thaw it. To unthaw would be to freeze. Moron. Osmosis. Diffusion is the natural process of evening out the spread of something through random motion. Osmosis is specifically the diffusion of water, generally through a membrane. Only water. Joking that someone is trying to "learn by osmosis" just by being near something is bullshit. The appropriately worded joke would be that they're trying to learn by diffusion. Unless they really are absorbing water into their head in order to become smarter.
Alt-alt: "Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while." I'm also a fan of referring to a crazy situation as a clusterfuck or shitshow.
Down here in the South, we drink a LOT of sweet tea. So much that it's the standard. If you want just iced tea, you order "Unsweet Tea." Which is completely wrong. It's just tea. But if you order tea, you'll probably get sweet tea or asked for clarification. I usually say "unsweetened tea," which isn't much better. But, anywhere you go that has two dispensers - one will read "Sweet Tea" and the other "Unsweet Tea." Really? Did you start with sweet tea, and then put it through some process to remove the sweetening? I guess "Tea that has not been sweetened with sugar" is too cumbersome. I blame the flammable-inflammable conundrum. Alt Focus: Preforated. No, dumbass, it's perforated pipe. The string of tickets you're tearing off have NOT been preforated. Also, unfocus: People love* when you spend 5 minutes explaining to them when they say, "That's not really my forte" that it is actually pronounced fort, not fortay. *They don't love it. It comes from the French (?) term for the leading point of a sword, (a strong point) but the Italian musical term for loud, that is spelled the same way, has cause great confusion.
Isn't this like other adopted foreign words that have been bastardized for so long it's actually more correct to pronounce it wrong? English> learning other cultures and languages.
I cannot stand ^ that phrase. The moon is infinitely closer than any other star, including our own Sun. So to suggest that if you can't hit the moon you'd be skilled enough to hit a star is ridiculous. It should read, "Aim for the stars. You might luck out and hit the moon, but most probably you'll get stuck in the frozen vacuum of space."
So true. Anyone that spouts that bullshit makes me think that this is how far they'd get for a Moon landing:
Focus: "Just sayin..." Alt focus: What is so hard about proper use of "seen" vs "saw" ? "I seen your brother on TV last night." Ugh. And what the hell is up with people writing "should of" instead of "should've" ? Other than they're idiots I mean.
"Educate yourself!" Is what people say when they have absolutely nothing to hold up their end of the debate with. It's a catch phrase of the slimy neo-lib and I can't stand it.
I love calling someone "50 shades of crazy." Don't know if I heard it from somewhere, or if I came up with it, but everyone understands exactly what I mean when I use it. I'm also fond of the phrase "finger fuck." It just makes me laugh. I'm very mature. As far as corporate speak, I hate the word "organic." I hate the organic food craze as well, but I really hate the word when used in the context of something like SEO or marketing or social media or professional development. Can't stand it when people say "too big for yer britches" or any other variation. Shit like that is the reason the rest of the nation thinks southerners are stupid. Makes me wanna slap the toothpick right outta their mouth.