Midgets get harrassed in such poor taste ways this time of year. I can't do shit for the day this year, my wife's in Vegas so I have the critter and I'll be alternately studying or having pillow fights.
Wait what? Studying and pillow fights? Wife's in Vegas without you and you're taking care of the kid? I'm so confused. My sister is attempting to adopt a dog right now and I swear to God it'd be easier to adopt a child. First she had to fill out there crazy application and fax it to them with a cover letter. Every piece of information had to be included for her application to be acknowledged. Then she had to do a 40 minute phone interview. Then the references she listed on her application will be contacted and interviewed as well. From there, people will go to her house and inspect it. Then there will be another interview with the person fostering the dog. This person gets the final say in where the dog goes, they can decide if they prefer one group or another based on frivolous things. So say the foster doesn't like one thing about you, then you went through the whole process for no reason and have to start over. For example, my sister is looking at a Dane/Lab mix named Dante. The foster wants the dog to sleep on the beds and hop on the couches. Why? No idea. Its bad manners for a dog, its ridiculous this foster allows it. My sister, because she's somewhat normal, doesn't allow this. The foster may veto my sister because of this. Its fucking ridiculous.
Finally! Because I am dying to know, how does she move without exposing naughty bits?** **Waits patiently for "Who Cares?" "I'd like to see her try." and "What's it look like from the back?" Also, I think we needed the drunk thread for Bewildered last night.
I suggest a theme of redheads starting off with cream skinned puffy nippled porn star Faye Reagan: Spoiler Also, who is this Ace77 and why he be moderating our shit?
Can we have a screed about how it is NOT St Patty's Day but rather St Paddy's Day? Because I like this place to resemble my FB feed.
Ran a race last weekend in Atlanta that asked us to dress up for St. Patty's day. I thought to bring it back 80's style (I am still really disappointed that my green and white wristbands arrived the day after the race)
I am feeling hawkward because I asked a friend if I could have one of the irish car bomb donuts she preorded (you pretty much had to get a whole dozen or be SOL with this ridiculously popular local donut place). She never said anything in response and then today posted a pic of one of the donuts and tagged two other friends to reserve one for them. She's not usually an asshole, so it must be something else....it's just really hard to figure out what. I guess it was audacious of me to straight up ask for one, as opposed to the two other friends who just oohed and ahhed in their comments? I did feel awkward asking for one in the first place because I usually never ask people for things, and this was an attempt to try and let go of my social anxiety and not seeing everything as such a big fucking deal. I guess that backfired. Kind of like a car bomb - ha! I'm going to console myself by making an irish car bomb cake. I may or may not passive-aggressively post pictures of it on FB.
I dare anyone on here to go to Ireland and order an Irish car bomb. If you make it out of the bar unscathed its because they were all so drunk they fell over chasing you. In other news, do not get in a drinking contest with anyone from Ireland. Its like going into the ring with Mike Tyson in his prime. You will wind up unconscious while they laugh at you. Their ability to drink is impressive.
I also know not to order my Black Velvets on St. Patrick's Day. Getting laughed at by the salty barman while I affix a black velvet band in my hair does not make for the ideal celebratory mood.
Ordering an Irish Car Bomb in Ireland. Hilarious. I guess they order a I Hope Your Family Gets AIDS over here.
I swear the dentists in my building coordinate on their shampoos or perfume or something. And it's even creepier that I can walk down a wide open hallway and know if one of them is around.