Oh shit y'all, is it Friday? I have no sense of time right now. The weather has been great, seems like the time to get some fishing done. Or some gardening. It's national jerky day. I don't know what the fuck I was expecting with a google image search for "jerky porn."
Does that lovely girl in the photo have a tattoo of an Angel / Devil on each ass cheek? Bless her heart...
If my eyesight serves me...that would be Princess Peach and Toad, as angel and devil, respectively. I know this because I zoomed in on her ass. EDIYT: I may be wrong about Toad...or about both. Point is, I zoomed in on her ass twice.
The worst jerky I’ve ever had was from House of Jerky, out of Evansville Indiana. It must be like a franchise, because there appear to be numerous stores with this name. I went to the House of Jerky in New Hope PA and bought a variety pack of beef , turkey and snapping turtle. It was ungodly expensive, even for jerky. The beef and turkey were like fossilized shoe leather, and tasted terrible. The snapping turtle jerky was inedible. It had a flavor like turtle - if that turtle had been lying dead on the side of the road for a few weeks before they scraped it up and packaged it. Easily one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve eaten Nigerian goat stew that tasted like an outhouse smells.
I'm not sure where I saw it, but there was a recipe for cowboy stew that basically reconstituted beef jerky or some sort of dried beef product. Supposedly cowboys out on long trips on the range would use it to make stews at the end of the night. Probably better than nothing.
Gardening and biking are two activities that should never be done nude. You are working in tall weeds with all sorts of creepy crawlers insects near your genitals, there are harsh chemicals, and sharp metal objects all about. Biking? I mean besides the seat jammed up your bunghole? Road rash and genital mutilation in bike chains.
I've had a few of these and and was trying to figure out why I'm feeling so saucy. Oh, 11% abv. Yeah, that'll do it. But damn are they good.
I am well aware and it's why I mentioned it. Both activities are celebrated by crunch hippy types you don't want to see naked anyway.
kinda like nude beaches. The kinda people who go to nude beaches, you don’t wanna see nude. Ask me how I know
Drinking one of my favorite beers, Dream Crusher. It’s great on the alcohol level, and even better on taste. Out of the Dallas area, I’m starting to see them all over even more so. Heavily recommend.
Nobody who is hot does that shit. Just the idiots who think people are going to show up. Instead you get a collection of creepy perverts with fat, sloped foreheads and puckered ass-flesh. It’s basically that one creepy guy every gym secretly hires to walk around the men’s change room nude all day long, starting awkward conversations with everyone in sight.... times a hundred.