Today has been a wild ride. Grandma drove in early for a visit, but the old boy pissed everywhere 10 minutes before her arrival. Ev. Ry. Where. The whole upstairs smelled of burnt dog pee. Later, through a mix of inexperience and and distraction, I exploded a pressure cooker and gave myself some 1st and 2nd degree burns. Luckily MiL has nurse training. I hope your Friday has been calmer than mine. Here's some naked chicks for your poor, pornhub thirsting eyes. How many SCers do we have representing? Spoiler
@Rush-O-Matic is probably so elated about those permanent thread updates that we won't see him for a week.
I am elated about the thread updates (Jägerette (and Kuhjäger) get special seats in heaven because of their philanthropy), but I am also sad that you got burned. So, like, everyone be like Jägerette and y'all don't be like 'wildered this weekend!
Certainly the updates from Jagerette and Kuhjager made my Friday. I am getting the motorcycle out and going for an early morning ride tomorrow, before it gets to 106 degrees. about 40 celsius for our Canadian folks.
If she really wants to get experience, she should Google how it’s done properly. @bewildered please do not Google it, we love you
Focus: I used to have a regular Craftsman lawn tractor. I could hook up a bagger or let it free discharge. It was just fine for the front and back yards, but for the field, it was not so great. (My tractor/ bush hog had shat the bed.) I wouldn't use the bagger, obvs, because it would get clogged to quickly and no need to bag. But, unless I mowed the field once a week (I didn't) it would clog the mower deck, even without the bagger on. So, I'd have to stop, disengage the blades, open the flap, clear the discharge, engage the blades, continue, then repeat. I usually had my headphones in, listening to some jams, just get in the routine. One time I opened the flap to clear and I hadn't disengaged the blades, and I stuck my gloved hand into the path of the moving blade. I realized it as I was doing it. I pulled my hand back and walked back to the house to clean up. I assumed I had chopped off a couple fingers and I wanted the glove to keep everything in place until I could be at a sink, get a tourniquet or rags, call 911, etc. Nope. Didn't lose any fingers, didn't even break any. I got very lucky. I iced my hand several times a day for several days. It was swollen and discolored for awhile. As I was walking up to the house, I was so mad, thinking to myself, this is the dumbest thing I've done and I deserve to lose a couple fingers. I bought my new zero-turn beefy mower the next week.
I once cooked a whole chicken in an all metal pan in the oven. Timer went off I opened the door and was letting some of the heat off. Couple of minutes of other kitchen task later absent mindedly reached in any bare handed grabbed the burning hot pan handle. I grabbed it hard anticipating the weight not the heat. Had a pan handle shaped blister across my palm and fingers where I gripped it. Hurt like a mother fucker. I was surprised that 95% of the throbbing pain went away after going to sleep that night. They need to figure out how to switch off pain receptors like that.
I mentioned recently that I got stitches from a chainsaw when I was working cutting trees. While the chainsaw was, indeed, malfunctioning, I didn't mention that the cause was basically my brain switching to auto-mode. We cut a LOT of trees, because they were mostly small softwoods in groups, so there was a whole lot of: release chain brake, cut small trees, engage chain brake, set aside chainsaw while you cleared away what you cut, then repeat until the group was cleared. It got to be a very automatic process. We were down a couple chainsaws, so mine was iffy - the chain didn't spin down quickly when you released the trigger, and the brake sometimes required an extra-firm smack to get it to set. So when I released the trigger, the chain was still going very fast, and I hit the brake casually with my "normal" amount of pressure. The brake didn't set, and my hand glanced off it and grabbed the moving chain. Still can't believe I had nothing more serious than some deep cuts. And it's amazing how much of a mess some blood can make - I essentially soaked my shirt through on the way to the hospital.
I once sneezed so hard I tore a ligament in my chest. Just breathing was painful for a couple of weeks. My P.E teacher accused me of malingering.
Jesus you people are fucking stupid. And so am I. A couple of years ago we had a fire pit going in the backyard. I added a couple of logs, and decided things needed rearranging. So instead of using the poker I was holding, I reached in with my left hand and moved a log slightly to the left. I escaped with only small second degree burns on two fingers. I got lucky.
One time I was walking home with my husband and looking up at him because he is a tall and I am a short. I managed to roll my foot into a pothole, breaking a bone in my foot and causing me to fall to my knee. Which landed on the edge of the pothole and required stitches. Spent the whole night in the ER because urgent cares were closed and they were busy with actual emergencies, trying to convince everyone that I was not wasted, just clumsy. By the time I got (a woefully inadequate number of) stitches, the resident looked at my knee and commented on the fact that the wound looked old. I told him it wasn’t old when I showed up 7 hours earlier. Womp womp.
I bet there's a Shaolin monk who's figured that out but his vow of poverty keeps it in the family. FOCUS: literally, rolling the office chair I was sitting on, over my pinky toe. It just happened, and I felt so stupid I even considered finishing the job and severing the thing as my idiot penance.
I once decided the best way to pour boiling water into a Cup o’ Noodles was to hold the foam cup in one hand and pour it out over the sink. It did not pour out smoothly, and I had two blisters on the back of my hand that were raised up about a half inch with liquid pus.
I almost blew myself up with a manpad in Iraq. We recovered a couple in a weapons cache earlier that day, and that night while writing the report, me along with one of my NCO's and a Marine EOD tech started talking about how none of us had ever seen the actual missile out of the tube. We were trying to figure out how to push it out of the tube when my Air Force EOD tech came in and asked what we were doing...he suggested we stop because the self destruct timer starts when the steering/stabilization fins deploy. These fins are spring loaded and deploy as they come out of the tube. And that is why you don't play with unexploded ordinance.
One time I was running along a really straight road. No cars in sight. It had already been a few miles and I was getting tired. Decided to close my eyes for a bit while I kept running straight…. into a tree. turns out you do not keep running straight if you can’t fucking see
With my incident, I was pretty surprised at how little pain I felt. When it happened it was not painful at all. I felt it hit me but that's it. I stood under the cold shower right after, nothing. I went and iced what I saw for a couple hours. When I removed the ice, it was a little uncomfortable, like a bad sunburn for maybe an hour. The most tender spots were places I didn't realize burned, so I had some areas blister and pop the next day because they didn't get iced or covered immediately with ointment. It would have been bad on a hand though. I can kind of a cover mine up and go about my business. You were probably miserable for a solid week. Maybe the difference had to do with how the burn happened as well. I had steam? Water? Hit me. You touched hot metal.