You'll all be sucking it while I rocket ski on 2 dolphins

Taking this from the drunk thread...

Focus: You get the lump payout and can't save any or spend it on something rational. What will you do?

Alt Focus: What would you rationally do?

 

I'd buy a share in a baseball team. If that team just happened to be the Mets or the Red Sox, I would then sign my cousin Greg, Ricky Henderson, some junior college players picked at random, Yoenis Cespedes, that weird guy at the bus stop, and my daughter's gym teacher, and insist they be put in the starting rotation/lineup.

 

Cocaine and hookers.

 

Here's my previous reply:

Probably the most idiotic thing I could see myself doing with that much money is invest in a film/tvshow and dictate who will be in it - basically buy my way onto the set and fangirl all over the place.

Assuming I don't do something quite that stupid, I always daydream that I would set up investments for my daughter and stepdaughter's education, as well as make sure I will always have enough money to grow old in comfort. Then I would set up apartments in NYC and London, and a house by the sea in San Diego. And I would travel a lot. Holy crap would I travel so much. I got thoroughly spoiled during my childhood as an army brat and my first job out of school at the State department. So many places I got to visit on somebody else's dime. Now it is a fire in my blood that I can't afford (except when my husband's airline points accumulate enough).

And I'll add to it: liposuction. I will try to continue to take care of myself by eating relatively healthy and exercising, but I have always had issues with my ass. If I had the means to shrink it down, I absolutely would. No face lifts or anything like that, I've never had great looks anyway and I would rather look old than have a creepy mask face. But my fat ass can GTFO.

 

Booze, bottle rocket factory, 200 acres of fainting goats = endless amusement.

 

I'd likely give very serious thought to living abroad. Frees you of a lot of the associated bullshit from people wondering about your money back home, and with a substantial sum, you can easily afford to fly back to see family regularly.

 

Well, if I wasn't thinking rationally, I'd probably do what 90% of lotto winners seem to do; I'd buy anything I had a whim to buy with no thought of consequences or future responsibilities. Fancy cars, exotic animals, hookers and blow, private jets, the whole bit.

Really though? I think I'd take Juice's template from the finance thread for a start. Then I'd build a massive dream house in wine country on soil that I'd had tested and found acceptable for large scale vineyards. While that was being built and all, travel and schooling. I'd hire people that know more than me on a wide variety of subjects and learn from them. Basically, I'd do what my current boss is doing. He's already rich, so he's just trying to make something good, enjoy life, and leave a secure future for his family.

 

In no particular order:

-invest in real estate companies, make less money than I would have if I had invested in a market index fund; convince everyone I was a wildly successful businessman
-use rare, multi-thousand dollar bottles of liquor to make shitty mixed drinks
-make a series of politically calculated donations to universities, museums and charities to maximize my public profile, get appointed to the Senate
-live in various vacation destinations year-round, but rotate between them so I can live in off-peak season year-round
-sponsor a special exhibition of Impressionist paintings on the condition that it be called "Fuck Bitches, Get Monet"
-go to the fanciest restaurant in town without a reservation. Slide the maitre'd a hundy to get a table. Once seated, breeze through the menu, and say "I'll just take one." "One?" the waiter will reply. "Yes. One. Of everything."
-Buy a series of yachts with yacht-pun inspired names. "Yachts of fun", "If you can't tie knots, tie yachts", etc.

 

I would build an arsenal on a remote property. Maybe an old missile silo. My thousand acre ranch would have off road courses for my fleet of Jeep Wranglers and ATVs. After traveling the world it would be nice to come home to my country prepper militia compound.

 

First and foremost, I would try to buy my way into a membership at Augusta National. I don't think you can do this, but I would still throw half of my money at it. Then I guess I would get some golf lessons.

 

Im sure there is a way...unless of course you're a woman

 

Or a joo.

 

Maybe try this?

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2016...ls-through-floodwaters-unscathed/?intcmp=hpff

 

I just now thought of the first thing I would do. I would use whatever money it took to get "The Donnas" to reform and play a set for myself naked. Just cause. The rest I would squander probably along the lines of what Juice put down in the finance thread. It really is pretty good advice.

 

I would take care of a few people in my family, give some money to my favorite charities, give half to my wife and then Keyser Soze it. I would be seen from time to time refueling a boat somewhere in Mexico or South America

 

Focus: First, I'm gonna need one of those dragon things they have at monster truck rallies that eats cars and shoots flames out of its face and a large pile of junk cars.

Spoiler: hell yes!

Second, a brewery. No not just a nice setup, I want a private brewpub at my house with a brewmaster and everything... and it won't just have stupid hoppy ales on tap.

Third, the workshop. I can't just sit on my ass, and if I had a shop with all the fabrication equipment one wish for I would be busy and content.

Finally, I would buy a few prime private hunting spots (i.e. the state of Alaska) and spend lots of time enjoying the wilderness.

Alt-focus: Invest wisely, live off the interest, and help fund a variety charities when I die (education grants and scholarships, childrens health, animal shelters, conservation, etc).

 

I'm with dewercs. I'd do a few nice things for family and some charities and then disappear.

 

If I won the lottery, I'd likely be quite conservative. I'd probably buy back my grandparents' house, which is right on the beach in a town in south-west England. It's not a huge place, but it has sufficient space for me. I'd stick 60% of whatever remains into a trust to live on (also including looking after my parents, as they are getting older) and maybe set up some university funding for my cousins' kids. I'm not a boat guy, but I'd likely ship over my dad's current yacht (it's quite small but he likes it and it has been in our family for about 50 years now).

I'd probably use the other 30% on purchasing property to rent out, do some travelling and play the stock market a little.