We have visitors to the Canadian office from our Japanese and Chinese satellite offices and they all brought little treats. In front of a group of them, I popped something into my mouth that I thought was going to be delicious, but tasted like a combination of rancid asshole and the inside of a rotten fruit dipped in corn syrup. It was also the size of a ping pong ball but could not be bitten, rather, had to be sucked like a candy. Ever tried to discreetly dispose of a ping pong ball-sized gob of whatthefuck in front of a group of businessmen? Not easy.
On the assumption that you're speaking metaphorically, if there is any part of your body that tastes like what I just had in my mouth, I suggest you see a physician. Or an exorcist.
This conversation happens every month on the board about you white people having bad interactions with cops. Everytime it happens, I just want to get a bag of popcorn, turn a chair backwards, sit down and listen to all the stories. It brings me all great joy. Just like when white people hear of a black dude with a small dick or can't dance/sing/play basketball. Like I can't believe white people actually have problems with police. This must only occur when there aren't any minorities around.
I live in a sea-side town in the UK, and our police prescence is practically zero. We have a cop shop, but I never see them out on patrol. I've had 3 interactions with them in the last 2 years, and that's only because they showed up at the shared house I live in, wanting to speak to my house mates for different reasons. What we do have, are PCSO's-Police Community Support Officers. They're members of the public who are given a shiny police like uniform, and go around living out their Hollywood cop fantasies. The beautiful part is, they have pretty much zero power. They can only perform a 'citizens arrest', which is something any member of the public can do if they feel like it. If I'm walking back from the pub on a Friday night and one of them says "Could you step over here please sir?", I can quite happily tell them that I could, but I don't want to so please fuck off you cunt. It's the little things that matter.
It's not that, the police just mistake us for black people because they can't tell us apart when we turn our hats sideways or wear throwbacks. We whites can impersonate and mimic anything, like the chameleon or the copycat fox.
Ever heard the saying "I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you"? Well, the cop is the bear and you're always going to taste better.
Shut your white privileged mouth. On the subject of police, and people in general, I've found that being polite helps. The cops who've given me tickets have communicated within the first 90 seconds of meeting me they intend to give me a ticket, "I stopped you today to write you a citation for speeding" type of thing. Not being an obnoxious, defensive asshole seems to help the situation...and not insulting anyone by trying to flirt my way out of it has also helped.
I get the impression the quality of our cops in Australia is superior to you Seppo’s and a lot nicer. This is exactly like my experiences, when I got caught with a DUI last year they even seemed to genuinely feel bad for me. I still was guarded in my responses to their questions, incriminating yourself is just fucking stupid. But I was friendly, cooperative and suitable shamed. Not to mention well below .08 so I would have walked in the States... Bugger.
I resemble that remark. It's easy to be .059 and think that you are cool to drive. Luckily in Aus it's not treated as the sort of blemish on your record as it seems to be in the States. You don't want to get caught for the second time though. Six month suspension, alco monitor for the next 6 etc. And the third can see you in Dixy country.
The first one here will fuck your life up but good. suspended license (automatically) for three years after conviction - your license costs $1000 a year (in Texas, at least) probation and possible jail time 1200 - 2000 dollar fine you pay your probation and urinalysis fees you pay for your alcohol counseling lose your CHL automatically aside from that you lose eligibility for certain educational grants, and you may not be able to get an apartment in some places. Employers look at it on your record and may not hire you. The license suspension is the real bitch because if you refuse to blow, it's automatic no matter what six month suspension...and if you get caught driving on a suspended license...yeeeesh. OH. And insurance. Depending on your insurer - you may or may not get dropped...exh2 got a DUI and paid $1200 in fines, $400 in court fees, $3000 in license reinstatement, $45 a month in probation fees, whatever his monthly urinalysis cost, and whatever his counseling cost. THEN State Farm dropped his insurance saying they couldn't insure him because of the DUI...but the state required he carry full coverage because his car wasn't paid off...and then getting new insurance after getting dropped...there was a point in time where his insurance was more than his car payment. And the goofy bastard still didn't learn. He was back popping pills and driving not too long after that. Driving on xanax or one of its siblings is a not fun way to travel.
Jesus wept. I ended up with about $1850 out of pocket ($1600 was lawyer, the rest fine) and a restricted licence for 4 months where I could only drive between 8am & 6:30pm Mon-Fri. And I thought that was rough. I did learn my lesson though and have become very paranoid about DD. Like I should have been before.
I can't even find a shred of sympathy for the legal consequences from piloting a 3000 lb. weapon while drunk.
It's amazing the extra stuff you can get, or even just the nice warm smiles, when you ask customer service people how their day is in a friendly manner. The level of service I've gotten nearly everywhere since I learned to do this is astounding. I can't remember who said it, but it's true: "The key to life is sincerity. Once you learn to fake that, everything else is golden." I'm amazed more people don't have them. The people I know (myself included) that have DUIs are generally upper middle class white collar people, or military. Think about how many times you've driven buzzed or drunk, when you knew you shouldn't have, even if you were driving "safe", and not been caught. All it takes is one of those times to go wrong. They say that the average person that has a DUI has driven above the limit around 200+ times before being caught. That's crazy.
Being a woman and crying seems to help. I know multiple girls that claim to have gotten out of tickets for turning on the water works. Hell my mom even got my speeding ticket reduced to a non moving violation by crying to the judge when I was 17. In Ohio refusing to blow is an auto 1 year suspended license and adding a year to each subsequent time you refuse, 2 years 2nd time, 3 years 3rd time, etc. It really is a strong armed tactic Im sure those psychos at MADD helped draft. I was found not guilty when I got mine so the year for refusing to blow was lifted. You can get work privileges but fuck if you get caught driving with a suspended license. You can't even buy a drink at a gas station if you're getting gas, no groceries, no nothing. It's pretty shitty but not drinking and driving is just the way to go anyway.