A couple of weeks ago I received a voice mail from a coworker in a different office asking me to send her something. Her last name rhymes with Wang, and when I listened to the message, that's what I thought she said. I only realized my mistake when I went to a coworker and told him I was searching for Wang but couldn't find any.
It's not okay to do what? Have a pint of beer then drive home? Did you read that part? I didn't say 'a few too many'. I don't drink 'a few too many' unless I definitively have someone to drive me. It isn't worth it ever. But a pint of beer or a glass of wine is not 'a few too many'. On no refusal holidays - that ONE DRINK...whether you're well below 'legally intoxicated' or not....that ONE DRINK lands your ass in the clink. All the police officer has to do is say he believes you were impaired. After having a glass of wine. So...on 'no refusal' holidays...I don't drive after one drink. Because it's alcohol in my system. Otherwise, after one drink, I am neither impaired physically or considered legally impaired. See my previous post about the slow nursing of my beer and the fact it takes me nearly an hour to drink one. Snomageddonpocalypse is here. Maryland is freaking the fuck out. So The husband and I went to the state park and looked at the snow and the water. It was lovely.
Last week a jogger - mother of 3 - was killed at 8 in the morning by a doctor on his way to work who blew a .110. He claims the last drink he had was 10pm the previous evening. In the car he had a sam adams (unopened?) and prescription drugs. Other crazy facts about this case is that he is being treated for leukemia and is a widower because his wife was killed in a car accident. He himself has 3 kids and was engaged to be married. It happened on a somewhat rural road and when she saw him too close to the edge she moved to the ditch to wait till he passed. He swerved and hit her anyway. Apparently people all over the world jogged in her memory this weekend. #megsmiles
I've known too many (hell, one is too many) people who lost their lives because someone made a stupid decision. In some cases, the person wasn't even drunk, but their ability to operate a vehicle was impaired. Their ability to react, their ability to make decisions quickly and effectively, their ability to process information as it happened quickly was impaired. It isn't always the beer that put you into the 0.110 range. It's whichever beer slowed down your reaction time. It could be beer #1, it could be beer #5. Why take the chance? Just because you don't feel drunk doesn't mean you're capable of making all the little decisions that you make every day behind the wheel with the same degree of competence as when you're sober.
True, heart-wrenching story: About 20 years or so ago, near where I live, a drunk driver blew through a red light and T-boned car with a local mother and her 2 kids inside. Mom died. The kids, luckily, were fine. One of those little roadside memorials was erected at the intersection. The widower father would run by there nearly every day on his morning jog to say hello to his beloved, deceased wife. About 15 years ago around 7 a.m., I was driving to work past this intersection when I saw an old grey Chevy pulled over to the side of the road with a couple of cop cars behind it. It turns out that, as dad was on his usual jog, the grey Chevy, for no apparent reason, swerved and hit the father. He was killed. Now there are two crosses at that intersection. http://www.porfidolaw.com/publications/Driver-Who-Killed-Randolph-Mom-To-Be-Freed.shtml
I was talking to my husband about this after the jogger was killed. There has to be some sort of physiological explanation for this sort of thing because it seems like it happens all the time. In my town there have been dozens of deaths just in the past 5 or 6 years from people being hit while walking along the side of the road or changing a tire in the emergency lane or whatever and someone swerves right into them. I wonder if what they did was see the person up ahead, swerve away so they wouldn't hit them, but then did too much and overcorrected and hit them anyway. I don't know if I'm making any sense, but there has to be some explanation other than "the person happened to be coincidentally in the exact spot where the driver swerved."
Yeah. You can try, but you won't be successful in convincing me that a pint of beer before I go home makes me an asshole. Particularly not if you've ever: texted while driving. read a text while driving. applied lipgloss/lipstick while driving. talked on the phone while driving. looked at a map while driving. driven with your knee. driven after working 14 hours. driven after taking cold medicine. driven after taking allergy medicine. driven after pulling an all nighter. driven with the flu or a cold. LOTS of things impair your ability to drive a vehicle. All of the things I listed were choices...if you've done any of them...you've made a choice to be an impaired driver. The difference is that Sudafed doesn't have a multibillion dollar ad campaign working against it. Is driving drunk wrong? Absolutely. I'm not saying otherwise. But the "One drink and you're an asshole for driving" crowd needs to put down the rocks because their glass walls are pretty fucking fragile.
A while ago I was on the phone at work, spelling something back to the other person like that, and the only word in the entire English language that I could think of that started with P was "penis." "So that's 'p' as in peen - uh.... 'p' as in....as in....um..." (Note, I was still working for Planned Parenthood) "P as in....................................................................penguin?" And the other person definitely knew what was happening in my brain and wouldn't stop laughing at me. I still don't know what you're supposed to say for P but I'm starting a movement to make it penis.
You should maybe consider learning the phonetic alphabet...to avoid foot in mouth situations. Or not....because they're certainly funny.
Man. The Penis Movement - there are just so, so many jokes there. That's awesome. So, Audrey, I believe that would be Papa - which is also funny while working at Planned Parenthood.
I just got propositioned by a cam girl on gchat. So fucking weird. I got a random request to chat last night and accepted it cause I figured it was a new email for a friend. Fast forward to an hour ago and the following exchange: Her: Whatcha doing Me (not recognizing the display name): Umm, working? I think you have the wrong person... H: Hi! How are you? Lets chat for a bit, I'm bored and looking to meet new people! M (already smelling a rat): Ok? Interesting way to go about it... H: Cool, well I'm Jenny and I'm originally from Miami! Can I ask you a question? M: Umm, ok? H: What kind of women you like!? R you in to NICE TITIS or a HUGE ASS? (insert tongue out smiley face). (almost there...) M: Umm, both? H: LOL! I have alot of both, would you like to see!? I'm not doing much right now... M: Well, seeing as I'm at work, that's probably a no go... H: YAY, let me set up my cam n u can watch me slap my booty! LOL, BRB! BLOCKED What the fuck? Is nothing sacred anymore?
The thirst for validation has no sanctity, shame, or boundaries. This just shows the lengths people will go to feel liked or even noticed. Why would ANYBODY whore it up for a complete stranger in this world of recordable social media? Did her dad fuck her in a Leatherface mask her entire teenage life?
That wasn't Charlene Getluwski was it?! She propositioned me first! Are you surprised some skeezy webcam site would spam chat bots out?
Re: Re: 1/10/14 WDT So I just watched a video of a girl throwing puppies into a river. Why people post that shit on Facebook I'll never know, and why the fuck does the Facebook app auto play videos?