They say men don't get PMS, but give me more than about 5 days without clearing the pipes and I will Hulk Smash. I shouldered a nun here a few months ago and straight up growled at her. Same day, some twat in a mouse costume wouldn't get out of my way unless I danced with him, so I shouted "I'll fucking stab you". There is a definite testosterone spike that sends me into coked-out, roid rage Jersey Shore mode. I'm watching "Bitten" because I love werewolf stories. This is surprisingly good, so far, with the first scene being the main actress in mid-coitus. Not a bad way to spend a cold Sunday indoors. I shaved for the first time this year. I've done paleo with a single kebab-induced lapse so far this year. GMAT is done, grad school apps to be done on time. Next up on the New Year's list is hitting the gym hard for the next two weeks, now that I'm used to paleo. How are you fuckers doing on the resolutions?
Jesus, if I didn't jerk off, I'd be a serial killer by now since it's the only version of sex currently available to me. When the wife is off for three days in a row, I get punchy because I have no opportunity to take care of business. I don't know anyone that would willingly refrain for a period of time unless they're training for a UFC match with a rabid platypus. The resolutions - or as I call it 'give a fuck and don't give a fuck' list is going well. But I always put my list in terms of effort, with monthly revisits to check on results. But I'm anal. Which was one of my resolutions. Be more OCD. Sometimes you have to give in to your flaws and turn them into positives. Or something like that.
Wait, not only are you not having sex but she won't let you masturbate? I don't even understand man, is your wife human? I know that what you're dealing with is actually a thing but it's just so hard to actually believe that someone thinks that way. I think I'm younger than most people on the board but I jerk it every day if I have the opportunity. If I reach 48 hours I'm getting random boners left and right and all I can think about is sex to the point where it will actually distract me at work. It's really a nuisance when you don't have anybody to have sex with.
It has nothing to do with her 'letting me.' It's a question of comfort. I've never masturbated in front of a woman in a non-sexual context. Do people do this? "Hey hon, dinner's good, let me rub one out right now" Does anyone do that? I don't think so. Given how completely unsexual my wife appears to be, I'm not comfortable in a situation where she might walk in on me doing that. Maybe that's my hangup, or whatever, but I can't imagine it would be anything but exceedingly awkward.
But you won't masturbate when she isn't around? My brain just can't process that. I go all Jekyll and Hyde when I can't get off for more than a couple days.
For some reason I get the impression that you don't actually want to talk about this and are just complaining (nothing wrong with that) but since you regularly bring this up... if I were half as unhappy as you make yourself sound I would get a divorce. You're already pretty much just roommates from the sounds of it; you'd only be divorcing your wife on paper, physically that already happened a long time ago from the sounds of it. Surely you've already thought of all of that, which means you've made the conscious choice to stay in a sexless marriage. Don't further shackle yourself, just lock yourself in the bathroom and beat your dick like it owes you money. You say it doesn't make you comfortable, why? Because you might offend her for taking care of your needs when she's clearly not going to and apparently has no needs of her own? Fuck that, from your posts in the past she knew what she was getting into when she married you. Stand up for yourself because honestly it's kind of pathetic to hear someone who has given up so thoroughly when they still have options.
The one time I can "turn it off" is for work, but I have my limits. I didn't jerk off for the entirety of basic training which I'm pretty proud of. I almost broke during week 5 though. At that point I had just completely stopped thinking about sex and girls all together. We had just finished shooting and there were about 100 of us sitting in the combat arms building. One of the instructors is sitting at a desk reading a book and half watching us making sure we're studying and not fucking off. We're all sitting facing towards him sitting in rows. The door at the back of the room opens and in walks this smoking hot cop wearing the tightest ABU pants I've ever seen. She just struts down the center aisle in between the two flights and starts talking to the instructor with her back turned to us. She then proceeds to bend at the waist, rests her elbows on the table and her face on her hands and just holds a conversation with out TI for like 20 minutes bent over. She was wiggling her ass the entire time too. That room was so fucking quiet except for the conversation they were having and of course the sounds of the dicks of 100 sexually deprived guys smacking against their pants. I remember after she walked away out the side door literally everyone was just staring at the door like they were hoping for some x-ray vision superpowers to suddenly be stowed upon them. That night I woke up having to take a shit in the middle of the night and I went into the bathroom and there must have been like 4 guys in there unashamedly furiously masturbating in the stalls. It seriously sounded like applause. I decided to hold my shit until the morning.
Village Idiot was where I was 18 months ago, fooling myself into thinking a sexless marriage is ok. It's not. It might be ok for several months or years, but eventually it's going to come to a forefront. VI, I'd get to a marriage counselor STAT. Waiting is only going to make it harder, if not impossible, to repair. You and your wife might be happy, for now. But give it some time. I wish you all the best, but do something about it either to address and repair it, or start filing. You're delaying the inevitable at this point and life's too short to trick yourself.
Sometimes it's nice to say things here that I can't say in real life. The consequences (when I have said them in real life) have been palpable. And maybe I'm childish, and naive, and whatever else you care to call me, but sometimes it's nice to have a medium to say 'this really sucks' without having to explain it. Just to get it out, because there is no other medium to get it out. Call it blowing off steam. Of course I've thought through the options, a gazillion times, but ultimately I'm not ready to write off all the sacrifices I've made in the hopes of things getting better. I'm not ready to admit failure. Sometimes, just venting is a nice thing, without all the attendant explanations and recriminations I would face if I did so in real life. Could I keep my mouth shut entirely? Of course, but I do get some sense of relief in being able to say exactly what I think in one small portion of my life without major consequence. That's all it is.
I had a hysterical meme ready to post when you guys were talking about your masturbating but then it turned serious. Dammit. Vent away VI.
Sorry man, you're never going to be ready. Ever. It's probably the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and if my ex hadn't insisted, I'd probably be still in the predicament you're in. But there has to be steps taken, either for it or against it. Don't just stay, unhappily complacent. Where's Balllsack when you need him?
Have you tried seducing your own wife? Seems kind of silly to put that much effort into an existing relationship where formality has all but disappeared (once you walk in while the other is on the john), but it definitely helps rekindle chemistry. You know who she is, what she responds to. Really, what's the worst outcome? She cuts off even more non-existent sex? Honestly, does your wife care if you cheat on her? There are some lovely girls on Backpage that will help you out with that problem. They'll also give you chlamydia, but help with the other thing too.
As much as I (/all of us) love to relentlessly give shit to ballsack, I gotta really respect the dude for knowing when it was time to jump off that marriage train, then pulling the trigger. I'm a big fan of the "shit or get off the pot" theory of dealing with relationships, especially when it comes to marriage. Sometimes people get married for the wrong reasons. Sometimes the person you married is not the person you are married to now. Sunk cost is NEVER a good reason to stick it out (even if there are kids involved). Ballsack, phone call in the WDT. Ballsack?
I do that sometimes. It's a bit awkward at first, but once you normalize it it becomes a random playful moment of amusement.
Nahh it was no slight to Ballsack. The guy reached out to me on here when I was at my lowest and I cant tell you how much I needed that as I didnt know any divorcees off here. Sack is a solid person in my book.
Oh I didn't mean to imply that you slighted him. I was just saying that as much as we give him shit, as an outside observer, he was really smart for doing what he did, for the right reasons, and doing so quickly. I usually only talk shit to those I know can give it back. It's a term of endearment kinda. I think we all do that around here.... unless they really deserve it for being whining assholes.
Shit. You want to talk divorce and deciding to leave and deterioration and all that shit...PM me. The first divorce was more like what you're talking about the second decision was easy, just getting to the actual divorce was hard. On the subject of drinking, Duclaw has a beer called Sweet Baby Jesus that's a chocolate peanut butter stout. I LOVE stouts, and I love chocolate stouts, and Reese's are the candies of the gods...I had a sip back before Christmas...holy sweet baby Jesus that was good beer. I can't wait until I can have an entire pint to myself.