I was hoping we'd get some snow out of that storm but we got nothing. The last two years we've had at least 5 snow days. This year I'll be shocked if we have any. We haven't had more than 1 inch of snow on the ground at all this winter which is borderline miraculous for this region. I just wanted a damn snow day. Then again, I might also be going back to the hospital soon if this fucking kidney stone doesn't pass. Fuck. I literally had surgery to get my kidneys cleaned out last summer, and now here I am with another one. This is something like my 15th kidney stone in the last 5 years.
I've been skiing in upper New York this weekend and I met a Canadian guy who used the word "fuckin" at least every other sentence. This guy was the Canadian version of a redneck right? He also had beers in his ski jacket and mentioned having had three beers as breakfast.
Actually, you'll find Canadians tend to curse WAY more than Americans as a whole. My friend has lived in Florida for almost 25 years and notices it right away when he comes back to visit: Canadians curse a LOT. But the guy you're talking about just annoys me. People who talk like convicts and EVERY SECOND WORD has to be "fuck" or "cunt" and you feel like your brain is being poisoned when they open your mouth. I work with a loudmouth idiot like this, a total full-of-shit fake toughguy who will say an eight word sentence and five of those words were "fuck."
This wasn't really that guy though. He just used fuckin as a filler word instead of " uhm" or "like". It was kind of funny really. Especially since the two guys he was with seemed so buttoned up. Like he was just that guy. He also had to be at least in his mid-fourties.
This reminds me of a story my brother told me once. Back in the mid '90s, he was working at a fire-sprinkler installation company. Every day after work, he and his co-workers would hit the bars and get plastered. When the evening's festivities ended one night, my brother was getting a ride home with another guy. They were going to have some more beers at his house, and THEN drop my brother off, but the home owner noticed that his dog, a rottweiler, had gotten out of the back yard. Apparently this sort of thing happened every now and then, so they decided to go driving around the neighborhood looking for it. After awhile, they see it sniffing around in someone else's yard, so my brother's friend (who is pretty pissed by this point) jumps out of the truck, grabs the dog by the scruff of the neck, and yanks it up with one arm like it was a puppy. The dog was thrashing around, barking/growling, trying to bite the guy's hand off, and with one arm he throws it in the back of the truck and takes off back to the house. When they pull up in front of the house, there's a rottweiler laying on his front doorstep... HIS rottweiler. They didn't know whose dog that was in the back of the truck, but they let it out and never heard anything about it afterwards.
You live in Indiana, don't you? A state that doesn't salt its highways and uses sand or some shit. Probably for the best. Worst driving day of my life was driving through Indiana home from Columbus during the bad blizzard at the start of 2014. Maybe its cause you've conditioned me, but my first take away was "awesome, guys go get plastered after work and then drunk drive around a residential neighborhood at night looking for a dog"
Well, I thought it was a pretty funny story. It was that, or tell the story of how my ex-wife got a new kitten that she thought was a girl, and about a year later I pointed out that it was, in fact, a boy. Her defense: "But it has nipples!" Me: (facepalm) "I've got nipples too, but that doesn't make me a woman! Didn't you notice his balls?" Her: "...Well I thought only female cats had nipples." Then I quoted some lines from Meet the Parents, and she got angry. In other news, when I went to pick up Li'l Bandit for his weekend visit yesterday, he had this poster of Janis Joplin up on his wall: Spoiler
In other news, when I went to pick up Li'l Bandit for his weekend visit yesterday, he had this poster of Janis Joplin up on his wall: Spoiler View attachment 13742 [/QUOTE] It is so special when they start to grow up.
Actually they do salt here. It is Michigan that uses sand instead. They claim it is better for the environment or some shit, but I dunno, Michigan driving sucked. I do prefer Michigan left turns, though, does seem to improve traffic flow even if it is a bit circuitous.
I'm running for the POTUS. As a woman, and my campaign slogan is going to be "Oh my God, you're SOOOOOOO BIG." Doesn't matter if I don't know how to be a politician, I've already won. All Swiss ex-pats will be funnelled into concentration camps, I never trusted those fucks.
What a shitty dining experience I had today. The first time where I just wanted to get the fuck out of there so much I didn't even want to take the time to complain; I just told them to give me my check so I could GTFO. Didn't even care that I paid for an all-you-can-eat option and left after having a tiny appetizer. Edit: Heh, just read a bunch of Yelp reviews and everyone complains about the same issue I had (service was shit). Definitely not going back to that place.
It's bad enough finding your father dead. It's another thing finding him dead in a sex swing surrounded by inhalant cans. Those moments when you realize your dad still out-parties you. http://metro.co.uk/2016/01/24/man-f...urce=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link Things I learned this weekend: Making "Ice" puns ala Arnold as Mr. Freeze can drive someone trapped in the blizzard slowly insane. Hot boxing a teacher's home office is strangely liberating. Waspy guys really do wear boat deck shoes and striped polos to high end clubs. It was ridiculous. Imagine a club filled with the villains from every 80s teen movie; like they walked off cliche fashion ads where people are sailing. People had sweaters tied around their neck un-ironically. Club has a $100 a year fee. It might be worth it just to network with rich douche canoes.
Thing I learned this weekend- teachers in Florida make enough money to have a home office. Most of the teachers I know can only afford a one bedroom apartment, or live with their parents.
I like how they live so extravagantly. MY TAX DOLLARS going to two people splitting rent of a 2 bedroom townhouse re-purposing their free bedroom. Such as put an IKEA desk in it.