Really I see SheGirl doing some good public service here. Hobos get rim jobs, they use less heroine, society improves.
Girl buys me tickets to Dylan Moran for my birthday, and then breaks up with me via text on the night of the show. When I tried to go alone, my car wouldn't start. When I got on Ebay to buy a beater (just get me til the end of grad school), the seller informs me the car is actually 5 hours away from where it's supposed to be and I can't pick it up on the weekends. When I tell him that won't cut it, he laughs and says "well, it was your deposit". And to top it all off, I got a root canal at 7:30 in the morning. Ima murder me somebody.
Well I think I've contributed enough, time to go watch hockey and keep on drinking, its starting to seem like Minnesota and I are on the same page.
So Jungle Julia sent me a picture of her big, sexy ass in some cute underwear today, and it would be perfect for the Booty Thread, but she'd never give me the okay to post it.
I posted this in the other WDT but it's locked. http://sports.yahoo.com/news/a-fict...t-the-first-world-series-pitch-144513662.html This would be the greatest sports moment in Cleveland history. I would actually turn on the World Series to see that.
This has already been given a flat "no" by the organization. Willie Mays-Hayes would be more awesome. Only Snipes, not wannabe Snipes.
Yeah, they've already lined up "Cleveland Indian Greats", which leaves me wondering....who? Bob Feller is dead. Herb Score would be cool, but I think he's dead too. Rocky Colavito? He came up with the Indians, but was traded to Detroit where he became a big star. (There was even a book about the Indians' haplessness called "The Curse of Rocky Colavito.") Maybe Sam McDowell? He was a dominant lefty in the 60's for a few years until his love of booze got the best of him. Mudcat Grant? Luis Tiant? Oscar Gamble? I have no idea who they're lined up, but Ricky Vaughn should be on the top of the list. By the way, am i in the minority that thought Major League II was a way better movie? For whatever reason that kid Rube cracks me the fuck up.
I have a rather humorous (to me) fascination with things in nature that can kill me. As far as I can tell this comes from a childhood of surviving multiple direct tornado strikes, hurricanes, and being the designated snake killer in the family because I was surrounded by pussies and I don't have the innate self-preservation instinct that apparently most people possess. I'd love nothing more than to have a bunch of snakes and spiders in terrariums around the house. Unfortunately my wife gets freaked the fuck out if she so much as sees a fly. Back in the day when you actually had to check out books from the library (what's that?) I would read all I could on falconry. It's not big down here in Texas so it would be a struggle to find a sponsor for the two year apprenticeship. But I'm sure I'll get into it one day. Hunting hand in hand with a raptor is an itch that started when I was in 4th grade and still hasn't been scratched. I'm starting with ducks. Maybe when my son gets older I'll bribe the wife into letting me spend two years and a few grand in order to use nothing more than a leather glove as my only guard against an incredibly evolved killing machine.
Julio Franco. He played for the Tribe. I thought Major League II was the equivalent of shitting your pants, sitting down in it, and then shitting them again. I think it's one of the worst and most obnoxious sequels ever made.