The tigress line was bad. I started to get agitated when he waxed about passionately loving cellulite. But once he talked about "breathing life into her" between her thighs, I started cheering for him to get gout.
Who the fuck even wastes their time and energy on any of that crap? Don't even read it. Ignore it. If that shit is impacting your life, then YOU are doing something wrong, not them.
I have absolutely amazing, pants-shittingly awesome news: I'm going to see The Reverend Horton Heat play in Houston next month! If you've never heard of The Reverend Horton Heat, don't be alarmed; there is a simple, two step process to remedy this situation: Step 1) PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE Step 2) Listen to this:
Today I went to Whole Foods and bought apple butter, smoked prosciutto, and a German specialty lager. On the off chance you couldn't tell from the previous sentence, I am white.
Website The Oatmeal trolls HuffPo over cartoons published without permission http://www.theguardian.com/media/20...-huffpo-over-images-published-sans-permission Awesome.
This isn't the first time somebody fucked with Matt Inman, and he has a very entertaining habit of winning every battle. I love The Oatmeal (it is The Truth) and I hope he humiliates a few more assholes this time.
I just found this video; apparently it came out just after I went on "vacation" a couple of years ago. I think everyone here should enjoy it. My advice: watch it all the way through to get the full message.
Somewhat funny tale; my friend is twenty-five and has only been out of the Marines for about nearly two years, where he was a Lance Corporal. So he wants to be an IT guy. He's going to a community college on his military credits, and essentially he's in a class with a bunch of 18-20 year olds in Ohio, and he's laughing because all of his classmates are bitching about the lack of being able to use calculators. My friend is laughing because he freakin' had to do everything long-hand or in his head, and he's basically now extorting people for them to come over to his apartment and him to teach them for a given amount of money, food or alcohol to barter with in payment to him. Can't say a military man can't prosper.
So I'm in a wedding this weekend. A bit bummed cause I miss out on Halloween festivities which is one of my favorite holidays, but its in Santa Barbara and its going to be a hell of a party. Also love that the groom just asked us all to get black suits, your choice. Ive been in 2 other weddings where a you purchased a suit for the wedding as opposed to renting. I'm very much in favor of this cause Men's Warehouse suits or wherever, fit like a burlap sack and look like ass. However, in the past, the suits were iffy at best. One was from an online retailer where you submitted dimensions and the other from Jos A Bank. Now I'm a slimmer guy and I also prefer a well cut slim fit. Neither of those suits came anywhere close. The Jos A Bank pants, even after alteration, felt like I was in a zoot suit. Thus I'm pretty excited about being in a suit that I sought out on my own, that fits like a glove, thats gonna look bomb. Two nights of partying with UCSB coeds with one of the groomsmen who is from SB and knows the bar scene well, and then a baller wedding at the Four Seasons. My flight this afternoon can't arrive soon enough.
Does this come as a surprise to anyone? http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/29/living/australia-accent-alcohol-theory-feat/index.html
Perhaps a large breasted woman with a shake weight will cheer you up. Spoiler And one more because titties. Spoiler In other news, I had tacos and beer. Trader Joe's green chile hot sauce is fucking awesome. I miss titties. Step up with the titties, people.
And the follow up: Well, then why didn't she see this coming? http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/10/2...rder-for-massachusetts-witch-against-warlock/