I thought it was abstinence makes the heart grow fonder? There isn't anything wrong with wanting personal time and space. As long as both parties are clear on it, different people need different amounts of personal space and time.
I'm always seeking out new movies and TV shows, thinking that I just don't have time to devote to stuff I've already seen. But then there comes a day or two when I am stuck in a hotel room and internet is too shitty for streaming, so I surf the television. Last night I got to watch part of Silence of the Lambs. Tonight it was 40 Year old Virgin. Fun fact: I saw Silence of the Lambs in college, one of the times I happened to be a size 14. Our library had these desk corrals, a whole bunch of them jumbled together with TVs connected to VHS and laserdisc players (younguns google it). We could check out a movie, find an open TV and watch with the headphones on. That was how I saw SOTL. I watched it in the evening, and then had to walk back to my dorm room in the dark. Yeah. It was completely terrifying and yet almost 20 years later I still cannot help but watch it if it comes on - it is that well made a movie.
You're both wrong. As Shakespeare said in 'I Can't Get Laid' -My forced abstinence has made me grow fonder of her absence during which I can drink absinthe. I hate it when people get the classics wrong
Whoa, here's a hidden GoPro video of a woman (audreymonroe?) being, um, "complimented" as she walks around New York minding her own business. I'm curious how much cat calling happens in Vancouver vs. New York, because I swear I never see that. Obviously I'm a guy, but based on that video it seems like it wouldn't be too hard to spot going on around you. Maybe it happens less here because we don't have puny East coast neanderthal brains though, who really knows.
I had no idea it was that bad in NYC. Around here if you follow someone on the street like that you can expect to get either maced, beat up, or in the police department's questioning room.
It's like that in Minneapolis too, according to my girlfriend. In fact one girl here started handing out cards to the assholes. Click on the link to see videos of her confronting the catcallers.
One thing the video is good about showing is that even innocuous greetings like "hello how are you?" can be threatening in the context of getting constantly harassed by people, especially because dudes can go from polite to pushy real quick. I think that some percentage of those guys were just being friendly (even though they were just doing so because they found her sexually attractive, which isn't really being friendly, but we'll move on for now). Even so, if you've been bombarded all day even that can be annoying.
I found that video on reddit, and in the comments someone said a way to relate to that (for a guy) is if you're in a foreign country with a lot of street vendors. They might just say "hello sir!" or something innocuous like that, but you quickly realize that any acknowledgement results in them hounding you like crazy for money. You stop seeing it as just a friendly greeting pretty quick. Obviously not the same thing as cat calling, but I thought it was a good analogy.
So am I not supposed to be nice and say hello to people as I pass them, or is this a regional thing? I'm always polite and say something to anyone I pass on the street.
I wonder about this too. I grew up in Toronto, lived in Ottawa for a while and have spent a significant amount of time in Montreal (as more than just a tourist, I mean) and I can't say I've ever really seen - or remember seeing, at least - catcalling. I'm willing to chalk part of this up to the fact that I wasn't exactly looking for examples of catcalling for all of the time. An ex of mine went to NYC on vacation and got catcalled and that never happened to her in Toronto. But then, another ex of mine would get uninvited compliments, comments, asked out, asked her number, etc., while on the subway or whatever in Montreal, so. Uhh, yeah, this doesn't count:
I remember in Berlin someone asked me in a polite American accent, "Do you speak English?". I turn around, a gypsy women hands me a notecard that starts in large type but then kept getting smaller and smaller. It was obvious she was targeting me. I dropped the card, grabbed my pockets, and started walk/running off. Sometimes a polite greeting is just a way of luring someone in.
Do you seriously do this? Maybe this kind of behavior is normal in a small town setting. But just greeting people as you walk by would get you looks of contempt around here and possibly might get you mistaken for the schizo yelling at nothing and masturbating at the train stop.
That was something I noticed in particular moving from a small town to a big city... in my hometown it would be odd if you went past the sidewalk without acknowledging the person in some way. Here? Most people just keep to themselves and random interactions are a lot less common.