http://www.thewrap.com/billy-bob-thornton-returns-for-bad-santa-2-miramax-broad-green-to-co-finance/ Hot damn.
For being an allegedly smart guy, I really do some stupid things. I went out for a smoke, and as I walked outside I looked up. In the apartment across the way, a girl was naked. Great rack. So what to I do? I run in and say to my wife 'You'll never believe what I just saw!" I'm such a dumb ass.
When your phone rings at 3 AM, it's NEVER good news. No, it's usually a call from the county jail when a friend gets busted, or the hospital letting you know that a family member was in a bad accident, or a drunken ex-girlfriend calling to ask you why you were always such an asshole (and NO, it can't wait for tomorrow). Or in my case, I got a call from the alarm company that monitors my shop; the alarm went off. So I had to go check it out. Good news: It was a false alarm! Bad news: I had to get dressed and slosh through muddy water for no good reason (for those of you who don't know, my shop has been flooded for a week due to rain from Hurricane Patricia).
I had all of ten trick-or-treaters. It was a near-blizzard-y, rainy-ass'd night, so I understand why people didn't want to tromp around for candy, kid or adult.
Why don't Indian restaurants start being honest and just offer a bucket of butter chicken sauce with a pile of naan bread on their menus?
My manager at the sportsbar I work at found a new job. I cried....an embarrassing amount. He is one of those vibrant, amazing people who never meets a stranger. The owner has a few restaurants in the city and hired a bunch of higher level managers, squeezing him and a KM that he's had slaving for him for 13 years out. The owner is an idiot. He lost his greatest asset. Who lets someone who turned a dying location around and has an almost cult following with customers get away? Aaand at the other job, I got a raise. I might not have to work 2 jobs for forever after all. That scares me because sometimes my sportsbar job is a relief from my dayjob. Happy Halloween I suppose.
My favorite part of halloween: time to go raid the local walmart for dollar bags of candy they're trying to offload. My dentist hates me, but I'm still a kid at heart. For like $20 I'm stocked for a year.
I do a really great impression of the Cryptkeeper. So great that when my husband hears it he says that he feels like his dick has been sawed off. Last night I got drunk and felt the need to call my bff and leave a Cryptkeeper message. Halloween wooooooooo! This was a weird Halloween. We went to a wine bar and there was a wedding reception going on. "Play That Funky Music White Boy" etc is kind of a Halloween buzzkill.
Frying some chicken, drinking coffee, listening to new Anthrax. This is a weird beginning to November. I almost want a beer even after last night. You know, I only saw one whore costume. This girl was dolled up like a dominatrix and was leading her even hotter friend on a leash who was wearing pretty much just a thong. Every weekend needs to be Hallowieners. Talked to my Uber driver last night. He says he quit his job and makes around $150 a day. Not bad for a glorified cabby. I think I'm going to do this part time. Just have to vacuum 5 years of dirt off my car floor. And by "me" I mean my friend for a 12 pack.
For those idiots residing in Ontario - and given that this is a drinking thread - may I offer a wine suggestion for you? I mean, the name is fucking stupid, but the contents are re-god-damn-diculous. It's sweet and fruity but not too much. Best enjoyed all by its god damned self.
Internet trolling has reached it's apex. There's no coming back from this. https://twitter.com/jaythenerdkid/status/628724250728214528
http://espn.go.com/blog/sweetspot/p...k-through-late-again-to-win-2015-world-series Way to go, Kansas City Royals! Normally I don't give a hoot in hell about baseball, but I feel that the Royals were cheated out of their victory last year by the S.F. Giants, when the Giant's pitcher started beaning the Royal's batters to take them out of the game. That was some low-down, dirty shit on San Francisco's part. I never liked that city before, and I like it even less now. Fuck San Francisco. Oh, and fuck the Mets, and all of New York as well.
I actually just read the entire thing. When I say "read", I really mean huh?? WTF? You're correct in that I might never be ok again. Wine. More wine.
My brother just called to invite me to his wedding, which he decided to have two weeks from now. He has known this girl for seven months. He is a fucking idiot.
So, Kansas City is obviously BUZZING with excitement for being World Series Champions. I get it - it's exciting. BUT school systems are canceling school for tomorrow due to the parade and the rally. That just seems crazy to me.
I know its in Missouri, but this is probably the biggest thing to happen to a place with Kansas in its name since the Wizard of Oz.
What is the last thing you would expect to be advertised on bottle of baby bubble bath, as "**** free"? Spoiler: Spoiler