10/6/17 WDT NSFW

Dude you can't just leave that there. What the fuck? Did you show it to him or what? How in the discussion of anything does an uncircumised penis come up (heh)? Did he ask who has a turtle head and you waved your dick in the air or what?

 

He does a bit about uncircumcised cocks. He polled the audience and my girlfriend raised her hand. He accused me of being disgusting and called my mom a cunt. Good times.

In fairness, in college I was the only one uncut and when I showed it to our female roommate she replied: "It looks like it's wearing a hoodie".

 

So last night I was cleaning up around my shop, and putting all the trash into a 55 gallon barrel to burn. Well, when I lit it, it caught faster than I thought it would, and a puff of flames singed off all the hair on my right arm.
I couldn't just walk around like some kind of freak with one hairless arm, so I shaved the left one to make it even.
Now it feels really weird; I've had hairy arms for twenty years, and now I can feel everything that touches my arms.

 

Doing a version of nett’s garlic soup right now. Wine is reducing and garlic is roasting. The house smells like I wanna touch myself.

 

Oh I'm going to have some of it tonight. She might too, though we're saving most of it for tomorrow to have it with scallops in a white wine cream sauce. The pairing is gonna be amazing.

She has not yet gathered that it will produce farts. She will quickly learn.

 

Yeah the only difference between my version and yours is I used more white wine and shallots in addition to the onions. I used 10 large heads of roasted garlic in addition to raw minced garlic.

This is gonna be a fart factory.

 

If I ate this for the rest of my life I would be perfectly ok with it.

Also, dear lord are these farts gonna be prodigious.

Edit: nice joke nett. I’ve cleared myself and our kids out of two rooms (so far). My 7 week old son is giving me the stink eye. My wife thinks it’s hilarious because she thinks I’m gonna stop eventually. I’ve never had so many burps or farts so frequently and so potent in my life.

So I’ll be taking this to work on Monday.

Fuck just typing this outside I farted so loud my goose honked at me.

 

My wife is eating it now. She thinks there’s something wrong with my system. Joke’s on her. Thanks to allergies I can’t smell, however judging by the looks I’ve been getting from my kids and the dogs, there might be a skunk in the house.

 

I hit two personal records today (185 lb military press, and a 505 lb deadlift) and have been eating like a locust. The cooking thread is timely.

 

There might be a skunk IN the house? Perhaps shake out the concussion cobwebs from whatever 40-story plunge you had onto jagged rocks and find the fucking thing. There's a lot more to their oil than bad smell once they've pissed it on something.

 

Hush. I'm waiting for the ensuing disaster when RoTN goes skunk hunting in his house.

 

My mistake. I don’t know much about Texas besides the gigantic hats, I thought it was a thing. Dixie has talked about all kinds critters n’ varmints wanderin’ into his house.

 

My wife is not very happy right now because she was up all night with garlic farts (though she said 10/10 she would eat it again).

She's gonna be even more unhappy when she puts on her deodorant with icy hot on it. Hey, we got a cold front coming in! I was just trying to warm her up!

 

Some ass hat just filed a trademark on "Vegas Strong." I guess it was just a matter of time, and of course it happens in this city filled with terrible people.

 

It’s a city founded and created by terrible people and the acorn has fallen straight down since. There’s a reason why most normal people can only handle it in 3-6 day spurts.