10 Turn Offs Women vs Men.

This. I've been through this and it was awful. He kept trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting to discuss it.

Also, I'm very sorry your ex cheated on you. I am not her nor do I resemble her. Don't start going through my phone and texting me 65 times when I go out. For fucks sake.

Insecurity is a damn deal breaker for me.

 

What's worse is when a girl likes you BECAUSE of your passion, yet expects you to sacrifice it for her once you're in a relationship. Yes ladies, the bulk of what guys do is somehow related to getting laid. That doesn't mean we want to give it up once we are getting laid, and you don't want us to either. The guys that do give up their lives are called clingers and you don't want them.

Taking about sex on the first couple dates, or before the two of you do it. I had a girl tell me how guys don't eat her out long enough on our first date. I think she thought it was a turn on. It's not. Let there be some mystery.

 

Touching on the nice guys subject. When you hear a guy self proclaim that he is a nice guy, watch out. These guys have no spine and are very passive aggressive. They only behave in a way that they feel women want them to behave. They usually get burned a lot and become very bitter and angry behind closed doors. These men are pussies and are a disgrace to fellow men. They get burned a lot by women, because they more than likely cling to her as soon as they get attention. They are insecure and attention temporarily makes them feel better about themselves. When you put a woman on a pedestal, and cling so hard, there is no better way to make her run from you.

They really aren't nice at all. These are the guys that think all women are whores. The woman he really wants is going home with that douche-bag from the bar...he is only gonna treat her like shit, right? Fuck her tonight and never talk to her again? What a dick. The thing about "nice guys" is, they want to do the exact same thing, but be nice about it. Because they have no sense of self, the women they pursue don't think so either. They feel women only go for assholes and shitheads. In reality, women prefer the confidence of a man who knows who he is and the "nice guy" thinks all those other guys are different and not as nice as him. Because women want to be treated like princesses, right?

"Nice guys" play the same game as all the others, but they do so in a more underhanded way. They have the same goal as the douche bag, but the nice guy thinks he is better than the douche bag. The "nice guy" will play by all the rules because he is afraid of what others will think about him if he goes into douche-bag territory. They want to be that perfect guy they think women really want, the guy from a fairy-tale, who is chivalrous and kind-hearted, but with a "nice guy" it's all a facade to get laid.

I had a roommate like this. He would come home at night and bitch about his vagina-starved existence. He would over-analyze all the stupid little details that he felt were significant. He would bitterly name-call the women he wanted, that didn't want him, as bitches. He put on such a nice guy persona in public, but underneath it all, he just wanted the same thing as those guys getting all the puss but was too afraid to go and fucking get it.

 

Not communicating honestly does it for me. Social situations really grind me down mentally and emotionally and there will be at least a couple days every month that I will wake up, leave a note, turn off my phone, hop in my car, and bomb out to someplace I can go hike to a quiet meadow in the mountains and recharge. I've made sure to discuss this early on in all of my relationships and usually tell them something along the lines of "It's selfish and it will probably make you uncomfortable but I really need it for my well being." A few of the women I've dated, bless them, have been honest enough to tell me that they would have some problems with it and we compromised on something that worked for the both of us. Others, not so much and it usually did not go over so well. There is an Arab proverb that states that "All sunshine makes a desert" and I think it has a valid application to relationships: Don't sacrifice honesty to make things smooth or sunny because it will catch up eventually. Wise dudes, those Arabs.

 

My ex and I were sitting on a couch awhile ago watching tv and talking. She was very hungover from drinking jack daniels the night before, making comments like, "I can't even imagine touching whiskey again for a month" and such. My roommate came downstairs and said he was going to the store to get some booze, and asked if we wanted to drink (yes), and if we were cool with some JD. The girl promptly answered, "Yeah, that's fine." She even threw down 10 bucks on a bottle. He left, and I sat there staring at her. "Why would you say that's fine? You could said anything else, anything! Vodka, Rum, Beer, Tequila, aaaaannnnything. Instead you say that's fine, when not even five minutes before you were telling me how awful you felt from Jack Daniels." She answers meekly, "ohh, I don't know... He just seemed like he really wanted Jack Daniels..." Ugh.

The entire relationship was like this. At first it was nice getting whatever you want all the time and not having to put up with anything. After about 6 months it starts getting a little rough/annoying. After 9 months you want to shoot her. Instead you opt for ending the relationship. I haven't seen her for over a year but I imagine she's somewhere not getting what she wants in life.

So, yeah. Don't let yourself get walked all over. It's annoying. The only guys that will ever like it are fucking broke ass meth addicts.

 

Similarly: any girl who is in great shape complaining about how fat she is. Women aren't the only ones attracted to self-confidence. When you are so insecure that you need to fish for compliments from us, it will make us feel like you're desperate for validation. Great if you want the dick and the door, not so great if you want anything meaningful.

 

Texting instead of actually calling the person.

Texting as it's time and place...when you're at work and can't actually talk or in a crowded bar, etc. However, when I met a guy and exchange phone numbers, I'd like our first conversations to be verbal. Sometimes I've called, gotten his voicemail, and three minutes later I get a text, 'Hey, what's up? I'm home watching TV." TALK TO ME!

Also, the whole "I don't want to seem interested because he'll think I'm clingy." There's a difference between calling to arrange plans and called 50 million times if he doesn't answer. It's ok for the girl to make the first move. If the guy can't handle it, he's probably a pussy. I'm honest with my feelings. If I like you, I'll call. If I get the hint you're not that interested, cool. I'll find someone else.

 

Acting like a complete unmitigated cunt is a turn off. Weird I know.

 

Amen. Fucking say what you want. And don't tell me I should be able to "read" it coming from you.

This goes for relationships and people at work. If you're giving signals about something and I'm not responding it's because:

1. I just don't want to deal with it;
2. I don't want to give you what you want; or
3. You're not important enough to me to show up on my radar, which means whatever you want, barring some truly unique circumstances, I will not be providing.

 

I would say that I have more male friends than female friends but, that is just because I have a very low tolerance threshold for catty, passive aggressive, drama mongers and a good deal of the girls I have made friends with outside of high school have fallen into that category. If you take issue with something JUST FUCKING SAY IT! I am not a mind reader and if something I said in a moment of totally candid, blunt conversation pissed you off then just tell me and I'll apologize or something. Furthermore, in reference to the video games, watching sports, and acting completely irresponsible why can't I come with? I play just as many video games (though if it's Call of Duty just say so and I won't interfere and I'll leave you alone), I love sports, and while I am the voice of reason amongst my guy friends more often than not, my interest in rational in the last few years has been limited. Besides I'm not a child, I don't need you at all times and I don't need distractions to "not deal with you" I could just choose not to deal with your nonsense. The theory is you're a grown ass man, go do whatever you want to do.

I think it's silly to write off mostly male friends for a person I've just started dating. Three of my oldest friends are dudes and I can count on them to level with me on most things.

What? I cannot say the female friends I have have these kinds of conversations. It's mostly limited to discussions of dry spells because frankly we're not interested in the awesome and regular lay you are getting. And what do you mean "keep them in check"?

 

I don't like a girl who wants to be involved in every part of my life [especially just after we have first met]. Realize that there are things I like to keep to myself or enjoy by myself or with a specific group of people, and it should be my choice as to when to include you in those things. I like when a girl takes interest in the things that I am passionate about, but she shouldn't feel the need to try and tag along with everything I am involved with.

Case in point, I write about boxing for a website and I spend a lot of time doing things related to that. I go to a few fights a month and some of them require taking the weekend off and going out to wherever the fight is being held. I have to show up in time for the weigh-in the day before and stay that night as well as likely staying the next night so that I am not driving an obscene amount of hours really late at night after working a long day. I love a girl that takes a slight interest in my job and wants to learn about it since it is a big part of my life and likely always will be, but this one girl I recently met was basically trying to invite herself along all the time.

I am going to the fight in Oakland this coming Saturday that will be on Showtime, local hero Andre Ward's first world title shot against Mikkel Kessler, and I can always get an extra person into whatever fight I am covering as a photographer. I invited a roommate of mine that isn't much of a photographer but has never been to a fight live and is someone who I have been slowly converting to the dark side of boxing fandom by showing him some old favorite fights of mine. This is the perfect "first fight" to attend in person as it will sell out and be a raucous crowd. This girl I am dating was appalled that I did not think to invite her off the basis that she watched the Pacquiao fight with me at my brother's house. That was a huge turnoff that she would think that would qualify her as first in line. If I really like a girl and it gets serious, I'm sure she would come along every once in awhile like my sister-in-law does with my brother.

Saying that, I don't want someone who wants to completely cut herself off from that part of my life and basically leave the room everytime I am watching a fight or cut me off when I am talking about it. If it is going to be a serious relationship, it is going to be a small part of it and I don't want to have to feel like it is something I shouldn't share a little bit with her. I'm the kind of guy that doesn't mind taking part in things my girl asks of me if it really means that much to her, I'll take her to see a shit movie I want nothing part of [like the upcoming Twilight movie] and sit through it like a soldier without complaining much. A woman I am going to have a relationship should be able to do the same.