That chick is UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY in the face. I can't even make a "I bet you got in that magazine by sucking dick" joke.
You mean, Cristy Nicole? Or the girl that that wilder posted? Because, the one I posted is not ugly. Certainly not 11 u's ugly. And posed in Playboy several times. (And, she's also the one who recently made the news because she got fired as a teacher for having posed in Playboy.) Maybe that angle just doesn't suit you. To each his own, I guess.
Ever notice how girls with big (or saggy?) boobs always put their hands over their heads? </not complaining>
"Come on guys, we need to make this picture interesting. I know how about sunglasses? Wait, what about a long necklace? What if you paint your nails a nasty pale yellow color? I got it, how about pepperoni on the nipples?" "Yes, that's perfect!" --is how I imagine that conversation going.
He's a fat fuck alcoholic who smokes crack, and STILL you fuckheads support this guy? Something about crack: it is NOT a spur of the moment drug. You do not get a one-time craving for it and pot or booze is not a gateway into it. There is no glamour or high-roller customers for it, at least not for long. Never in my life, in my many, many "drunken stupors" (youre a fucking MAYOR!!!) have I had it in my fried little mind to go chasing after the ok' freebasing dragon. Why? Drive through any shitty neighbourhood for two minutes and find out. The end products of Freeway Rick. It is used by fiends. People willing to buy out in the open in broad daylight because the addiction is their job. People who don't care what they're buying or who from. It is not a party drug or something you use to blow off steam on Saturday. It's stronger and more addictive than cocaine yet cheaper. Because it is ravenously stepped-on brew poison that wants every single inch of the user. A drug for total losers. That's what Rob Ford is. The hits will keep a common' I guarantee.
If Rob Ford were actually a crack addict, I cannot fathom what his daily caloric intake must be. He would need a constant IV drip of deep fried big macs. Come to think of it, maybe he's hiding an infusion pump beneath those voluminous clothes of his.
He has no neck. It not the crack that concerns me as much as his addiction to peanut M & M's. the Iron Shiek is picking a fight with him for smoking crack, which is hilarious because the Iron Shiek is a fucking crackhead. This I know.
It's like he finally encountered a steak too big for him to finish. Hey fat guys. This is how you look to us. All the time. Thin privilege is losing weight on crack. I can't stop laughing at that face. He's in a staring contest with a bullfrog, isn't he? For winter he hibernates just like a bear. But, you know, in an poutine/crack coma. His career in politics is over, but he could do a buddy cop flick with Nick Nolte. We'll call it "48 Hours... Until Our Livers Fail."
He's fallen on his face/fat ass on camera more times and taken more dives than Bernie Kozar with hemophilia. Just go on YouTube and watch him doing all kind of fat, drunk and sweaty pratfalls that look like a broken legged weevil with an inner ear infection. It's like he inhales ether during all waking hours.
Times I've Had That Same Expression On My Face: Accidentally walking in on my mom naked. Accidentally walking in on my dad naked. Getting a layoff notice a few weeks before Christmas last year. Mixing Adderall and muscle relaxers. The split second before vomiting 4 Irish Car Bombs I inhaled in 20 minutes. The 3 hours I was high on mushrooms.