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11/22 Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Nov 22, 2013.

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  1. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    I haven't been the same since. I guess all we can do in this crazy, crazy world is ask "Why?" I miss him. I miss him so much. Ya know, life is funny sometimes. You think you know someone and then they just up and show you who they really are. Winterbike, if your journey on this big blue marble crosses paths with this board in the future, I just want you to know that I love you.

    “I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” -Winterbike

    ~R.I.P. Winterbike~
    10/22/2009 - 11/22/2013
     
  2. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Whoever originally came up with that line deserves Herpes. A mutated off-strain of the virus that crawls into your asshole and then just kills the living fuck out of you.
     
  3. katokoch

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    AIDS? Sounds about right...
     
  4. Coke Bottle Casualty

    Coke Bottle Casualty
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    Papa, do you think he's teaching Jesus how to hit his macros up in heaven?
     
  5. TX.

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    The Mad Pooper

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    I think it's been attributed to Marilyn Monroe, but it's more likely from a SATC wannabe's Ben & Jerry-fueled moment of "empowerment" following a break-up.
     
  6. CharlesJohnson

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    I see it often from the woman that left her husband (for the second time) so she could fuck a few randoms instead of working on her marriage. It was sweet revenge when her sort of friend started dating the husband. Woman lost her shit. I laughed and laughed.

    The only thing worse than that is fat women championing Marilyn Monroe as their patron saint.
     
  7. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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  8. happyfunball

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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    That's a joke article. Who's having sex with women over 176 pounds?


    I had to direct this nice young couple to the morning after pill about a month ago. The guy started raving about how awesome it is and that it really works. All I'm thinking is, "should you maybe be using condoms?" Plus you can get a lot more condoms for $50 than 1 morning after pill. Oh yeah, and maybe prevent infections.
     
  9. toddamus

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    My good friend from college married a girl bigger than him and who can't walk a half mile without getting winded. I don't get hit, she's also kinda bitchy as well.

    I just don't get how a guy can be sexually attracted to a girl who weighs more than him. I know, I'm sure my standards are too high.
     
  10. Parker

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    I have a friend that prefers fat chicks. Over 200 lbs. He's 6'3 and probably 200 himself, but he really loves himself some fatties. For the longest time he's had his friends convinced that he only liked them because he likes huge tits and fat girls had the biggest tits. But he got serious with this chick and eventually married her that is like 5'3 and just fucking huge. Her tits aren't even that massive and its like "Oh shit, you just like fat chicks."

    And let me fucking tell you, god it was a fucking BLAST to go out with him. He's make a beeline for the bigger girls in the group and he'd be making them feel like Queen of the Bar/Club in minutes. That lead to the much more attractive girls to get confused as hell and get really friendly. Problem is, that he constantly started dating these girls and then wouldn't come out, he barely liked drinking to begin with. When he got serious with this last chick it was a sad day...
     
  11. Durbanite

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    Eeyore

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    You know when you turn on your computer and you hear that faint "tzzzt" in the background of dust causing a fuck-up with something? Fun times. It's only been 2 or so months since I cleaned out this PC and I used a vacuum and a soft-bristled paint brush and I clean out everywhere that has a fan attached. Oh well, at least the noise is gone now and the PC is running smoothly. Does anyone else have dust issues? Or just me?

    I really could use a drink but I have no rum. Waaaah.
     
  12. toddamus

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    I don't care who you are, there's nothing sexy about a FUPA.
     
  13. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Its not an issue for Tom Cruise than again what choice does he have? Rhea Perlman is single again.
     
  14. iczorro

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  15. abneretta

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    Have you guys seen this yet?
     
    #235 abneretta, Nov 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. lhprop1

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    Just pretend it's a third titty. When you're going down on Shamu and tasting all of the stank that her sponge on a stick missed, you can grab it and play with it just like you would with a real titty, but you don't have to reach all the way up to her chest to grab it.

    Win.
     
  17. xrayvision

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    Plus, it may or may not have the beautiful beginnings of a fruitful pubic garden. Bigger win.
     
  18. Rush-O-Matic

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    I've seen it, and it's hilarious. But, the funny thing is, when I first saw the Kayne video, I just assume it was a Funny or Die thing or something. I have only recently learned that both the song "Bound" and the video for it were not intended as jokes. Whiile I don't think he's the musical genius he claims to be, I like a lot of Kayne's stuff. But I think that song is the worst effort ever put forth by somebody with a previous successful track record. I'm still not convinced the fact that it's so crappy (and the video) are not some art piece for him to mock the music industry and fans. "Hey, y'all watch this. I'm just gonna throw some shit together and watch the retards lap it up and defend me."
     
    #238 Rush-O-Matic, Nov 25, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  19. Rush-O-Matic

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    You've also discounted the fact that if you're drunk and you aim too high, you can still get the ol' in-out with her deep navel. Also win.
     
  20. katokoch

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    Plus there's no risk of knocking her up with that route and hopefully less STDs...
     
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