That .gif is now officially this board's litmus test for humor. I don't know who officially declares it, but since no one else is, I'm standing up. If you can't laugh at a "paid sexual actor" (/drugged out hooker) getting fist punched in her gaping asshole while on a boat, in .gif form.... then what is wrong with this world? And what's so funny is that the dude is wearing sanitary gloves. As if those .002 cent things make everything copacetic all the sudden. Hell, any woman that will allow a man to do that to her asshole certainly has stds that can leap further than those gloves can protect. Next morning the guy will wake up and his hands will be just fine, but his arms are gonna be a mess of festering sores for which there is no known cure. And something about that asshole reminds me of a burrito.
Why is there a Nutella jar the size of a fucking baby? Let me rephrase, WHY WASN'T I NOTIFIED? Alright, I'm going to a dance club. Jesus. Is "shaking the dice" or "Voguing" still the hip thing to do? Fuck I'm old.
Re: Re: 11/22 Drunk Thread I've mentioned it elsewhere before; I'm a financial adviser. Used to be a lawyer, but got out of that at the beginning of the year.
"I'm listening to 'I'm On A Boat' because I saw some skank getting her fartbox punch fucked on the deck of a boat." Do you know how bad I want to post that on Facebook? Nobody would ever talk to me again. Except you people. Which is terrifying. And sexy. But the danger gets you off, doesn't it, slut? You need the fear.
Holy.... uhm, shit? And I thought Johnny Knoxville was the only one who was an ass for a living. That person's identity is basically an incredibly dynamic asshole with a series of body parts attached. I can only imagine how that conversation will go with her children. "Mommy, how do you make money?" "Well, Shaikwanda, you know that doll house I got you for Christmas? Before I wrapped it, I shoved the entire thing up my asshole, and then I put it on the Internet." "..... I'mma get arrested again to go back to jail. Thanks mommy for telling me that."
Someone needs to superimpose it so he's pulling out an infinite stream of knotted magician handkerchiefs. Or buttbeads. Sure, whatevs. Sick fucks.
What, like my internet cherry wasn't popped looooong ago..As a spectator, this fisting is pretty tame. That's not saying I'd ever want that fist near my asshole EVER. Ugh, I have the hiccups bad.
How many bad decisions leads one to getting their ass "punch fisted" on a boat for the enjoyment of the internet’s. I'm thinking lots.
The following work well for hiccups (teaspoon quantity) Peanut Butter Viniger Grenadine I wouldn't recommend mixing though
Now that I have the opportunity, I should thank everyone for the kind words in support of my not dying in a 3rd world country. But I should also address the frequent mentions of finding (or not finding) a bride over here. It is a scary reality that I could easily - easily - find an attractive woman who would be willing to marry me for my citizenship. In fact, I could find several within a one kilometre radius. I'm Canadian? Check. A tall, blond-haired and blue-eyed giant among lesser mortals? Well, that's just gravy. People ask to take pictures of me left and right, and make sure to get their daughter in the frame. The decompression from this is going to suck.
So I was watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles last night, and I realized something. There are no rolling suitcases. None. Then I thought about it and realized that they weren't really around until 2000 or so. Until then they had your standard rectangular suitcase that might have some mini casters on it you could pull with a leather strap, but it would fall over with the slightest bump. Why the fuck did it take until 2000 for the suitcase to become more mobile? The wheel has been around for thousands of years. The handle has been around for longer. Suitcases were a couple hundred years old. The dolly was in common usage, and anyone looking at it could see how the physics of it worked, and why it would apply to a suitcase.
Now I'm hearing ISON survived the sun and is brighter. Did anybody see it this morning or is this a hoax?