Ah, daughter talk. I think so far I've got the hang of this, she isn't a teenager for 8 more years and by then I will have mastered a blade of my choosing (I am thinking butterfly knife they were so damn cool in Action Jackson). However, the little light of my eye daddy's apple pie decided she was going to give me some lip today, a rare thing. I asked her to simply pick a spoon up off the floor and this micro-organism five-year-old turns and says "No. YOU'RE not the boss of me." "Really." I reply. And demonstrated how daddy is in fact the boss by lifting her up and pinning her to the ceiling with one hand. Kids get the point when you prove you're five times their size. Of course, she makes me feel less badass by immediately yelling " DO IT AGAIN!!!!"
yo Philadelphia, why are your moshers such assholes? Took a road trip from New York to the electric factory and got punched in the face several times, dudes attempting to kick out my legs from under me, and scratches all up and down my arm. Who is scratching in the pit?! This is happy punk, not death metal. Y'all have bad manners. Awesome show though. Smith street band and koo koo kangaroo played really well, Frank tore it up, moshing/crowdsurfing is a blast regardless of mannerless thugs, the venue is cool as fuck, and the coat check staff musta liked me because he gave me free tickets to Flogging Molly. Fuck Black Friday shopping. Live music is a way better way to get into a brawl.
I knew I should've waited to get a TV. I got a 47" LED for $699 not too long ago and yesterday the same place was selling 55" LEDs for $599. Same brand and everything. I spent so much money on new furniture and shit last week I promised myself I wouldn't go out except to be the DD for the next two weeks. Fortunately my friends all went out today without me and I've got a small stock of beer at home. I'll drink to two weeks of sobriety tonight, or something like that.
Did you know a single unpaid speeding ticket can get your license suspended, without any warning? I was pulled over, in East St Louis nonetheless, and found this out as the cop was debating what to do with me. Thank god he let me call someone, and we were released. Aside from Detroit, there are few places I'd rather be arrested than East St Louis.
I believe you 100%, because.... On a rating for lack of wealth, employment and especially overall crime-per-capita, East St. Louis is statistically by and large the WORST CITY IN AMERICA. It is worse than Detroit. Far worse.
One online place had a 55" Samsung smart TV for $430 last week if that makes you feel any better. My sister asked for a TV for Christmas, so of all people, my technologically deficient mother decided to spontaneously go out and pick one at Best Buy instead of, oh, maybe checking with me to save some money? Yep, she paid $350 for a $200 TV. Oh well. I've been entirely too sober this weekend. There are a half dozen new beers in the refrigerator. The girlfriend is going to be gone all afternoon working. I have some terrible movies to watch. The sobriety ends NOW.
Jesus you people and your "BAH!!! SOBER. FOR TEN DAYS THE HORROR!!!!" You sadden me and chap my black ass with statements like that. ...listen you little spring chickens with all your fucking free time: I'm breaking about 100 days sobriety up night and you had better believe that I am getting PATHETICALLY drunk. More than any of you fags. WHAT? Do somethin'.'
Fun Fact: North St. Louis is actually far worse than East STL. How do I know this? When I was in St. Louis about two months ago my friends roommate was a young cop talked about it briefly. East STL is bad, but there's no one there, apparently the north side is where all the action is. Apparently in that whole city there is only one quadrant where you won't get robbed or shot. But hey, I guess they have the best tasting tap water in America so at least they have that right?
I always knew STL as the birthplace of Scott Bakula and Nelly and therefore was scientifically impossible for it to be tough. Actually Bakula's cool. Nelly isnt, though.
There was the guy in the Hannibal Lecter mask. Man, his mystique was so badass. By the time he did Hot In Herre I threw up my hands and went "Done!" Oh, and "Grillz" is an indefensible low in hip-hop.
Do you know when you try to cross our border with that stuff it instantly curdles and turns into ash, right?
I have a hunting axe that's three feet long and made specifically for killing. It's over 120 years old too so it looks like a giant tomahawk, a wooden handle with a hand-crafted head.
Lord knows if your appetite increased any more, you'd have to start chugging from the dispenser at the sperm bank.
I would rather walk around downtown Atlanta in black face than stop at a gas station in East St Louis. However, I would wear a racist sandwich board, Die Hard with a Vengeance style, to get an Imos pizza.
The guy whose country keeps their milk in plastic bags is talking about curdling. How appropriate. Does anyone know the proper way to dispose of crucifixes? The tenant living here before (my landlord's mother) me had them hanging over every fucking doorway in the house, so I have like 8 of these things. I tried to get my landlord to take them but he didn't want them. Right now I have them stashed away in the closet. I mean, I'm not religious in any way but it seems rather unceremonious to just dump them in the trash, and zombie-Jesus might not like that.