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11/22 Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Nov 22, 2013.

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  1. Gravy

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    Emotionally Jaded

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    You are one cruel sumbitch.

    But I would like you justify your life to me. I mean, you're using my tax dollars. Present your case or face summary execution. I hope you have been doing some outstanding charity work revengeofthenerds because right now you are looking like dead weight. Wheelz is a good dude who makes me laugh. Right now you're just a guy advocating for what sounds like the dystopian setting of the next young adult book series.
     
  2. Currer Bell

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    How much do I love Happy Thumbs Gaming? This line: "You'd need to launch something a little harder than a coconut to bust open my starfish. Womp Womp." (this was said during a walkthrough for Lego Pirates of the Caribbean, which I am currently drunkenly walking through). I love HTG and would happily marry and/or shag the dude who does the Lego walkthroughs.
     
  3. hotwheelz

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    Well, hello good sir. You seem to be pretty angry. You also seem to have left a comment meant for the public in my inbox. Since I've already seemed to have caused you a tremendous amount of trouble, I'll leave it here in order to relieve you of any further burden.

    I would like to apologize for all the pain and suffering I've caused you. I'm sorry for not being as good and considerate towards society as you. As someone who's been in a similar position as I have, I'm sure you know how difficult it is to let go. I know you also understand that life isn't really worth living without being healthy and being able to physically do everything that is necessary to take care of yourself. That's all that really matters right? For example, those pesky old grandparents need to stop asking strapping young men such as yourself to care for them. They need to stop being so selfish and just do the right thing and die, y'know?

    Anyhoo... I apologize for not justifying my existence to you. It was very impolite of me. If you would be so kind as to give me a chance to do so... I merely require your mailing address (via PM of course) and I shall send you a personalized letter signed in triplicate by my deformed crippled claw explaining why I should be alive. If you are not convinced I will considerately and immediately drive myself into the pacific ocean. Who knows, maybe I will be lucky enough to float away... forever drifting (I do feel quite buoyant).

    P.S. Out of curiosity and a desire for solidarity, what situation were you in?

    P.P.S. I'm getting my disability payment on Monday and wanted to thank you. Would it be okay to use it on a beautiful prostitute?
     
  4. Gravy

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    That is an improper use of taxpayer's money, Hotwheelz. Ugly prostitutes only.
     
  5. bebop007

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    Well, I just spent a couple hours of my life (partially on a freezing doorstep) making sure my dumbshit best friend doesn't ruin probably the best relationship of his life. And what's my reward? Being home alone, again. Sometimes I think I'm one of those pandas in captivity who's just too dumb too breed and expand the species. At least that would offer some explanation.

    Anyway have some good music, TiB,

     
    #625 bebop007, Dec 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. audreymonroe

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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    You know, revengeofthenerds has spewed a lot of racist and misogynist bullshit over the past few months that I have more or less ignored.

    But.

    I don't feel too badly saying now that he can kindly go fuck himself. That was one of the most fucked up things I have ever seen on this board. And that's saying a whole fucking lot.

    Welcome back, hotwheelz. I'm glad you're doing alright.
     
  7. JoeCanada

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    Is it too late now to pull the plug?
     
  8. hotwheelz

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    I've got girls in striped pantaloons and kittens in hamburgers on my side, I think I win.
     
  9. Nom Chompsky

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    Honorary TiBette

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    Hey what's up?

    You're about to have a kid. This is your first time, so let me clue you into something: you're about to understand the inherent preciousness of life in a way that you never have before. If something so much as fucking threatens a hair on your kids head you're going to hyperventilate. And your wife will.

    And if not, you're not fit to be a parent, yet.

    Either way, you've got some thinking to do, clearly. And this place is interfering with that. So, take a couple days off and clear your head.

    I know this sounds like a request, but it's not.
     
  10. Rob4Broncos

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    And puppies with great serving skills! Fight da power!
     
  11. Cult

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    Actually I think it would be the smallest since the crucifixes are like 1' x 5". But when you have 8 of them maybe it all adds up to one normal sized fail? Also, I'm fairly certain the KKK doesn't burn crosses that have effigies of Jesus on them. Spoiler'd for size

    [​IMG]

    This reminds me, when I moved in and I went into the attic I found the most ridiculously large portrait of Jesus. This thing had to be like 8' x 5', and it was Jesus sitting on a mountain looking up at a full moon with a Dracula/Frankenstein style castle in the background. It reminded me of those wolf t-shirts. And for some reason in one of the corners there was a small mirror. I think that thing is still up there.
     
  12. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Seems relevent:



    (I think this has been posted before, but it's funny as hell so worth a repost.)
     
    #632 Trakiel, Dec 1, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. guernica

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  14. TX.

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    The Mad Pooper

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    I hope revenge's kid isn't born with CP or MD. Sounds like the poor thing would quite literally have to sink or swim. I re-read his post about 10 times looking for (hoping for) any hint of sarcasm.
     
  15. Currer Bell

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    Jesus, WTF? I dropped in to post some silliness last night and didn't read what was going on in the thread. I feel like someone who walks into a room charred by fire and puts up a unicorn poster.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    HA HA HA

    Jesus can't a guy just go out and get smashed without some sort of new sociopathic fuckery confounding this place? What sort of impulsive salute to weirdness was that shit?
     
  17. Juice

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    Uhh... Happy holidays?

    *backs out slowly*
     
  18. toddamus

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    When I made the KKK joke I was thinking more along the lines of them lighting there own 10ft cross in their yard.

    Burning a cross with a Jesus on it steps up the game quite a bit. Seems much more Roman now and really increases the offensiveness.

    Btw, obviously I'm not condoning any sort of racial intimidation, just making a tasteless joke.

    And now, because its Christmas season...
     

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  19. Currer Bell

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    I somehow missed this tidbit until it got quoted. Please please please go up to the attic and see if it is still there, take a picture of it and post it here. Pleeeeeease.
     
  20. Cult

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    It's gone, I remember my landlord asking if I wanted it and I just kind of stared like... even if I was a Christian who would want an ugly ass painting that big taking up half of a wall? He must've moved it out when he was taking out some of the old furniture.

    If I'm going to go that route I should find little figurines of centurions holding spears and paint the tips red.
     
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