11/22 Drunk Thread

If you want to make the news I think you know how to now. I swear if someone did that, even if was miniature, it would make national news.

 

I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is illegal in Germany and would get me deported. I mean, I've gotten yelled at for crossing in a crosswalk even though there were no cars in sight because the signal hadn't changed.

In other news I just saw this album while on Reddit...



Now THAT'S advertising.

 

I wouldn't necessarily wish bad on his innocent child, but would it be too much to ask that he goes the way of Paul Walker on his brief banning from this place?

 

I can only imagine that frat boys everywhere are going to have this in their rooms.

Unfortunately I think accidentally doing this will lead to the opposite.

 

I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to understand how the fuck revengeofthenerds could possibly be mad at anything Wheelz has posted. I of course failed because I'm a goddamn human being. That is a man with fucking issues. Think what you want, but keep that shit, especially THAT shit, to yourself. My father always has said "Thinking is dangerous for some people." I've never seen it so plainly demonstrated like that before.

 

Some people are just genuinely terrible human beings. TiB unfortunately attracts them sometimes. I'm betting he thought he'd be hailed as a hero for daring to speak against that big bully Hotwheelz. Everyone is the hero of their own story, just so happens Revengeofthenerds' story is a fucked up, amoral mess that even Uwe Boll would shake his head at.

 

You understand that a doctor "pulling the plug" means to remove life support, not euthanize a patient because of a loss of functionality, right? What did your doctor say when you asked him to euthanize you?

That conversation never happened, did it? Just one more question, do you think your child will grow up to be a liar and a complete piece of shit devoid of compassion, or will he/she be fortunate to have enough experiences that impart a sense of decency in spite of the morally bankrupt garbage they learn from you?

 

You know I was wondering about that supposed situation too, but after like 2 seconds I just decided that he made it up and is a liar on top of being a douche.

 

+1

 

I wonder if he would ask my twin brother to justify his brain surgeries (btw he's had 5). With his logic, surely no one's health is worth that much health care cost.

 

I got back from my shopping extravaganza, all shopping is done. I know, you're thrilled for me. Except I have to buy some sort of whiskey for my brother-in-law. Suggestions? I tend to go with the prettiest bottle.

My mom had back surgery about a month ago, and is somewhat of a clean freak. Since she can't bend over, I spent way too much of the weekend having her call me over so I can bend over and pick up whatever item someone dropped on the floor. I'm sure you can imagine how bad that was this weekend.

I also had a close call and almost bought a pair of jeggings. Who knew they would look so good! I was trying them on for my daughter and I want a pair. And before you congratulate me on resisting the temptation (you know you want to), the only reason I didn't is that I got them for my daughter for Christmas and I plan on borrowing them. There's something wrong with me, isn't there? That's a rhetorical question by the way. No itemized lists needed.

 

I feel as if someone needs to show this old SNL sketch to your daughter so she can get you a pair for Christmas...

 

Bingo.

You know how I know revengeofthenerds made it up? He claimed to have been in the exact position Hotwheelz is in.

Oh really, jackass? You were born with Hotwheelz' condition and have been living with it your whole fucking life? No. You have not. Shut the fuck up forever.

His opinion was formed from a poor and VERY incomplete understanding of the struggles of others. There is nothing more dangerous and stupid than someone without critical thinking skills who believes they have a firm grasp on their ability to empathize with those in a disadvantaged situation. Thank goodness he isn't a legislator.

...but if he were, I bet I can guess which party he would identify with.

 

I save those for special occasions.

 

I wouldn't even classify what he said as a political statement, although that could be argued. What he said wasn't even political but it was enough to make Ted Cruz say "goddamn". It was just inherently evil and goes far far beyond anything on that spectrum .

 

I think jeggings are fantastic.

 

If he mixes it with coke, don't buy anything more expensive than Jack Daniels.

If he likes it neat, a good couple of bourbons are Blanton's, Woodford Reserve, or Maker's Mark. Honestly, I find the Woodford Reserve the best because it has a more depth to its flavor profile.

Then there is Scotch which is a barbecued version of American Bourbon. A good Isle whisky (made in the northern island chains, very good water source, the cleanest in the world) will run you about $60. Laphroaig is good. McCallan's is also well-liked.

Irish whiskey is the lightest. Jameson is too sweet for me, but Bushmill's is quite nice and sharp. There are dozens of new Irish whiskeys out in the past year, I haven't tried any.

Now if you will excuse me, I must rendezvous with my compatriots in a bar of old English oak, lacquered dark and smelling of rich smoke, where we will reminisce on times past and future, speak fondly of our cherished loved ones, then take our balls out and shake them at traffic. Jolly good show.

 

As another one of our boards disabled, that dude can go fuck himself.

 

I remember the first time I saw a pair of jeggings. I was confused because I'd never heard of them before and was wondering (read: admiring) how tightly this girl's jeans clung to her ass probably for a good 10 seconds before I realized that they were leggings.

 

This joke is awful enough that you might have actually come up with it yourself. You in 1998: "Hey guys did you hear the new Sunny Bono album? It's called FACE PLANT... Hey pass the lines, fag."