Dogs were going crazy and got me to look outside. It's amazing what an AR can do to a group of hogs. Those who were left scattered like wood from a shotgun blast on particle board.
I fucking hate squirrels and how much they sound like deer after you've been sitting in the woods for hours.
I saw it. Did they have it set at the 3 year old girl level? No wonder you didn't fall off, it was moving in slow, flat circles until the very end. You looked damn good, though...
... Isn't that the point of a story? To let your imagination fill in the rest? Well, ok, maybe not: I live on a large ranch and hogs are god's manifest reminder to mankind that the devil is right around the corner. I like guns. Not all guns, I just like mine, specifically. They are my first born. My son is the second. I'm still not sure how I feel, morally, about trophy hunting (vs subsistence hunting), but it's amazing what a well-placed shot can do. I have a .223 AR-15, the now-infamous "bushmaster carbon-15" that was used at Sandy Hook. This bothers me a lot. So my dogs woke me up. They've been raised on the ranch, so they know what is "normal wildlife" (like deer, longhorns, crackheads, etc.) and they go crazy when they hear something different. I've learned from experience -- smart dogs are usually right -- that whenever they sound off I gotta grab the nearest gun in whatever state of undress I am in and be prepared to shoot. They've ruined sex this way. I've also killed coyotes this way. They went off last night. The nearest gun was the rifle. I have a 20 round clip, but load it to 18 because it makes feeding easier. She's sighted in at 80 yards. (The typical shot for here; nothing is ever 100 yards and I'd rather hit high for a shorter shot than low, because when you're aiming for that power plant low means fat or a miss, but high means their spine.) I have a light on the fore-grip picatinnys which I use exclusively for this purpose. I hit the noise with the light. There were a little over a dozen hogs, but my count may be off because when they all look the same they have a tendency to blend together, and also I was in a state of "I just woke up... wait what?!?... KILL!!!..." They all froze with the light, and then I mowed the grass (and hopefully a few of them) with the rifle. Shock and awe. You gotta learn something from Bush, right? She had three bullets left when I stopped because I could no longer find any targets. And then I went back to sleep. There's the other 92%
Uhm... EVERYTHING sounds like deer after you've been sitting in the woods for hours. I could take a beer shit in my pants in the blind, and feel it, and be like "wait, did you just hear that buck?" I think it's a version of cabin fever.
I've heard more turkeys here in the final hour of last night and first hour this morning than all other hunts on this property combined. It's crazy, and of course happening the weekend after fall turkey season ends. There's a fresh half inch of powder snow on the ground and the wind is blowing in my face. Time to Fudd it up and track one down.
So in the past month, both Yuengling and chik-fil-a have come to Connecticut. It's like someone read my white trash diary and decided to make all my dreams come true. Sidenote: the chik-fil-a I went to yesterday just opened on 11/6. They had four or five members of the army national guard helping about a dozen or so police officers organize the mass of fat Americans pouring into that place. It was at once a proud, almost patriotic moment, and also a signal that our downfall is upon us. We have chosen our destroyer, and it comes in the form of delicious chicken.
They just built a new Chick fil A down the street from my house. Now I can get drunk and walk there. I am a little too excited over the prospects. Also, you should be happy about the Yuengling thing. That's some good beer.
Thanks! I wasn't going to do it but I'm weak to peer pressure. It works! I think she started slow in the beginning on purpose. And she did it better than last year. I'm just happy I didn't face plant before it even started.
Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm thrilled. I bought a case of Yuengling the other day for $13. I'm never buying Miller lite ever again.
There was an open bar last night. My brain hurts. My eyes are swollen and red from smoke. When at a club because your friend won an open bar, never tip the bartender well so she remembers you, because she doesn't give one fuck. You're out $20 and your glass is empty next round. You should all be proud of me. Some fat bitch called me a pussy for drinking vodka clubs and I didn't point out she was a fat bitch. LAWL, men can only drink brown liquor! I hope someone punches her in the fatty pubis. Jager is a stupid idea even if it's $3. It's even dumber to do it 3 times.
I found a nice little store in town that carries a really goo selection of meat, and this has resulted in elk ragu being on the menu for today. And it has turned out to be far, far more delicious than the beef ragu I made last week. If you have the means, I highly suggest picking some up.