Went out after talent show and got drunk, ended up vomiting. I haven't vomited from booze alone in years. Should remember to eat more next time before going on serious drinking session consisting of double vodka tonics. I thought I was pro enough to skip that step. Also, hung over for the first time in a while. Go me.
I believe I've expressed this sentiment before but I feel like someone hot-glue-gunned my brain to the underside of my skull. Dear LORD.
Drunk Pro Tip: Do not drink inhuman amounts of liquor, stumble into Subway 5 minutes before close and then consume a Philly Cheesesteak slathered in Chipotle sauce in 45 seconds. Your toilet with think you. And your lovehandles, at least mine anyway.
Last night I had a sudden, painful realization: my liquor bar is fucking EMPTY (the wine bar is full; yes I have two mini bars in my house). Today I get the pleasure/financial pain of raiding costco for liquor. Vodka, rum, tequila, gin, regular consumption whiskey, Jameson that no one will touch, scotch that no one will touch. It's amazing the deals I have found though on liquor there. Handle of hand-made top shelf vodka for $35? Yes, please!
I'm starting my new job as a hotel night receptionist at 11pm tonight, in Manchester, UK. The weekend nights are gonna be weird with no drinking to do. Unless I can find a bar that's open at 7am on a Sunday morning in Manchester... idea's?
That sounds ridiculously good. What he would (probably) not be is 25 strips of bacon slathered in maple syrup. Even though it is quite delicious. The downside is you're gonna shit a live gerbil after that mess. And still be hungover. Costco is definitely the shit tho, you used to be able to get this amazing Patron case with 3 bottles and a nice flask for like 100 bucks. Not in my state though, so I never got it. Fucking blue laws.
I just had a fight with my sewing machine. Pretty sure I lost. But on a good note, no one is home and I'm listening to all my favorite dance-around-the-house songs in the most ridiculous outfit ever. Edit: The outfit includes these shoes and no pants.
Woke up, venison chili frito pie to make the hangover die. Somewhere along the line I had a good morning beer and decided to go ride dirt bikes. Found a bunch of catfish in the river and started throwing large rocks (that require two hands, or four if you're netdata) at them. Didn't hit any, but I was close. You'd be shocked how entertaining throwing rocks at catfish is. Of course riding bikes made me work up a pretty good thirst, so I rode back, parked it in my front yard, and resumed drinking beer. TCU game in a half hour and I think I'm gonna do a bonfire later and torment my wife/the neighboring deer that eat my landscaping with my airsoft gun. Gotta love the phrase "I have leftover beer [from a party] you need to help me finish." Have you ever had one of those days where you accidentally get drunk way before it's a socially-appropriate time? They go great with football.
Marine Corps Ball tonight!!! But I need some advice from the peanut gallery: My g/f of 7 mo wants to go to dinner, go the the ball, then go to her house afterward and go to sleep. She doesn't want to go out at all like 100% of the people at the ball will do. Her parents want her home because they hate me and they don't want her to spend time with me, let alone stay the night. The way I see it, I have two choices: 1. Drive her home after the ball. This is at about 1230 and basically end my night as it would be about an hour drive there and back. (This means almost no drinking at the ball which would lead to an incredibly boring night as that's exactly what happened last year, but I had duty at 0700 the next morning.) 2. Let her call her friend or sister and have one of them pick her up and take her home allowing me to stay out and do what we were supposed to do on the night of the Marine Corps Ball. 3. Whatever solution you guys come up with that makes sense. And...Go.
After 14 months of electric stove hell I finally got my fucking grill back!!!! I'm going to be eating nothing but almost raw cow flesh for the next month!!!! USA!!!USA!!!USA!!!
4. Tell her to grow some balls, or at least the female equivalent of them, and act her age? Seriously, she is an adult, right? She can make her own decisions, right? If there is an event that is important to you, she should at least make the effort to make you happy for it; you would do the same if the situation was reversed, right? She should get glammed up and let her show you off to your buddies. I'm talking, she's fucking Betty Drapper and when she walks in the room, people get stiffies. If her parents are controlling every aspect of her life, then something is wrong in that picture; they don't approve of you? For what reason? Your job? Your lifestyle? At least your not some janitor for a 7/11, who smokes crack and throws his gf/wife down the stairs in arguments because he's strung out*. God damn it, I'm hungover and angry. *I'm assuming, at least, most crackheads are not as inventive as you to make interesting stories to cover their shitty lives and they sell computers for things, like crack.
Do you care about this girl or not? If you do, drive her home. If not, have her get a ride home. But, any self-respecting girl with a shred of self-esteem is going to dump your ass and never look back. Marine Corps Ball? Isn't that like prom for dipshit 23 year olds? Lame.
Wow, harsh Tex. I don't know if it's that bad. I tend to agree with Primer, though - why is she allowing her parents to dictate her life to her at this stage of the game? However, that's an issue for another day and doesn't help you with the party coming up. 1. See if you can arrange a ride with anyone else who may be cutting out early. 2. Why can't she just stay at your barracks or in a hotel room that you rent? Then, she can bounce early and you can stay out as long as you wish. If I was 'the girlfriend' in this scenario and didn't want to party late, this would be a perfectly acceptable option.
I see your double vodka's, and raise you.....double beer bongs. this thing was beautiful, two tubes, three valves, outrageous. Being perfectly honest....I did two. TWO! And then next thing i know i wake up in my own bed, naked. Sheeeit.
No, it's worse. There's plenty of want to be marines that are civilians that go and try to fit in. Like 45 year olds that "were going to be Marines, but...", type-of-folk. They sit around and talk about work, and argue whether one's 3.4" dick is bigger than a 3.41" dick...or something equally as awesome on a Saturday. Yes, I've been invited. No, I have not been. I've just gone to happy hour with this breed. Awful.
Well if she knows her family hates you and would think it was a thrill to stick it to them, just bring along a liquor bottle and get her fuuuuuuuuuucked up. Sneaking around beforehand will seem exciting and make you look like a rebel without a cause. She should be sopping wet downstairs. Thus allowing her to get hammered and rationalize staying around and not ruining your evening...
This weekend I learnt that kebabs are only deliciously awesome when you're totally shitfaced. Don't bother if you've only had a few bourbons and you're not making an ass of youself, because they don't taste nearly as good. Perhaps I should develop a drunk food scale of some sort.