I'd pick 4 of the military / ex-military / LEO types from the board and one female (for recreation). Whichever is the hottest one. Hooker? I don't know. In high stress situations, women have a good way of getting people killed when they are in groups larger than one. They bicker and argue about decisions when, in a high stress / high stakes environment, making NO decision is worse than making the WRONG decision. So I'm only bringing one. The other guys would at least have a base line tactical knowledge and medicine, so there's that. I'm thinking probably Nett, and... uh... who am I kidding; I have no idea who most of the guys on here are. I'd just need people that can follow simple directions and not bitch too much. As for a basic plan of action, of course we'd try to source immediate supplies and find a piece of land where we could be sustainable and protected, at least for a while. Other than guns, medical supplies, and food we'd be sourcing seeds, gardening equipment, livestock, that sort of thing. The idea is to set up a strong, well defended, well stocked, and sustainable home base from where you can go exploring / conquering / maraudering. Obviously it will be difficult in the beginning because there will be a bunch of types trying to steal your gains, but I'd defy anyone to try and penetrate my defenses. I'd be willing to bet we'd need to dig a mass grave near our garden to have a place to put all the idiots.
*COUGH* Anyway... This will either be hilarious or really creepy. I'm too hungover to decide. DCC, TX, Abby Beretta, Pimptress and BL1Y. We'll push a shopping cart around while I wax eloquence on the way the world used to be before I die of lung cancer. Every night when we stop I'll tell them they're the best guy, err woman... and that if I were god I'd have made the world just so and no different. Goodness will find the boobie thread, it always has, it will again. We'll survive because we're carrying the fire. Why Bl1lly? Because we're going to need to eat someone. I figure we'll pull a The Road cannibals on him, slicing off the chunks we need while he's strapped to a table.
You'd take abneretta? Isn't she pregnant? I wouldnt want that baggage. Then again, that would mean another days worth of food... (In an emergency situation of course)
Do you have any idea how nutritious breast milk is? She would be like livestock. You could get a whole herd of chicks pregnant and be just like a dairy farmer, except that there wouldn't be the same stigma involved as when you fuck the cows.
Am I the only one who immediately thought ToyToy? He lives in the middle of nowhere, has a ton of land, very large shop tools I don't even understand used to create lumber, I'm pretty sure he's got a bulldozer, knowledge of farming, the ability to make high-octane booze out of numerous items, and probably enough ammo and firearms to keep the heathens at bay. Plus, he's funny as hell. Why he would welcome me in as a friend, I'm not entirely sure, but I'd give it a shot. Failing that, I make the long trip North and West from Mississippi to B.C. and try to find Nett. I figure if I can make it all the way there without dying, and possibly present a large bear pelt upon my arrival, he might see some value in me. Or, at the very least, let me rest a second and watch eagles catch fish out of his lake. I guess that leaves four of you to go. I'd want Dewercs, because that guy kills and knows how to eat damn near everything. Katokoch, again, a hunter, also knows his guns. There needs to be a female, but hell if I know which one of you to pick. And Fawkes, just because it seems like he can get shit done.
This is incredibly tricky. I probably don't want to bring Poopourri; while he seems like a cool guy, and I have no doubt he would help me get laid by a hot one legged chick at a post-apocalyptic college football game, he also already implied that he would try to sell me. I'm no square, but I draw the line there. I also wouldn't bring women with the intention of repopulating the earth. That's not to say I wouldn't bring women, just that the idea of repopulating an earth that so clearly wants us fucking gone is crazy. My line will die with me, and it will fucking like it. Do you realize that there would be a decent chance that you'd be dealing with multiple pregnant women at once, with no access to medical care? And then you'd have to raise the children? All that in mind, my list: BrianH: It kind of scares me to take him, because he'd quickly realize how useless I was and jettison me as deadweight before leaving with all my wimmenfolk. Still, can't think of anybody better at pure survival. MoreCowbell: Likeable but doesn't seem super tough, so probably wouldn't try to kill me for me stash of candy beads. Shimmered: Seems physically capable, attractive, etc. Pinkcup: Same as above, plus seems like the kind of person who'd be able to make things relatively liveable again. We'd have the nicest hut in all the land. Queen-Bee: Balance my post-apocalyptic firing range.
I've actually been writing a movie about this scenario. I know there's some film people on this board, so maybe I can get some feedback: A plot device malfunctions and a group of travelers is forced to make a crash landing. There's a funny guy, and a cool guy, a smart guy, and equivalent girls, because it's 2011 and we live in a post-sexist, post-Bridesmaids society. They pass out from all the excitement, and slip into convenient comas. They wake up in 2012 after the world has been destroyed by Mayan calendars, and to their horror everything they knew of civilization is gone and replaced with roving bands of hungry scavengers. They spend 50 hours navigating this new wasteland, acting only on optimistic rumors of "the world outside." After countless setbacks and a tragic death Spoiler (it's the smart guy, he dies and his glasses break. They give him a funeral and all solemnly send him off with a heavy, "sucks to your assmar") they reach the world outside...only to find... That they were only knocked out for like, 8 minutes, and just happened to land in Detroit. Working title: Planet of the Wow This Title Got Racist Quickly
Crown Royal, iczorro, KIMaster, Beefy Phil, and the artist formerly known as Supertramp. I'd pull up a chair, grab some popcorn, and start off a discussion with something like, "Hey, could a female president have prevented all of this?" Then I would watch.
Dewercs- if we need food, I once saw this guy catch three sailfish using only dental floss, paper clips and snot. His right arm was broken and the sun was in his eyes. Beefy Phil- Because he would probably be fun to play that game with where you take turns throwing a knife at each other's feet and you're only allowed to move one leg at a time. Pimptress- Females are needed regardless, and her stamina and leg strength could possibly swim us (fuck you, me) to a safe island. Ryan Milliron- Have you ever seen Hard Target? The bad dudes used armed forces vets because they had better survival skills. So, yeah. We'll need a hobby. Allord- If you're stranded at at the will of your own skills, you need some insane maniac screaming at inanimate volleyballs or nobody will go and see the movie when it comes out.
I'm taking shimmered, because I'm pretty sure she's the hottest female on this board, and she's a cross-fit girl - which means she can probably kick more ass than most of the men here (and if she wears the cute knee-high socks to boot, she'll look good kicking ass and taking names). I'm taking dewercs, because beyond the fact that he will hunt and kill our food, I wouldn't mind fucking him. I'm taking BrianH and vonboffinsheep because they can blow shit up, and I wouldn't mind fucking one (or both, together). Lastly, I'm taking Nom Chompsky because at some point we may need to repopulate and he is arguably the smartest person on the board. Smart babies are better than stupid babies.
Sherwood & Iczorro - Cause once everyone else is dead I'd like to have someone to talk to when I re-watch Lost Pinkcup & Bewildered - They both live in state, gotta keep the Auburn-Alabama hatred burning, even after the apocalypse. Plus they are both female. Hooker - Just because I'm in love with her tits....
I like that the most feminist man on this board picked the most (angrily) feminist woman on this board to do his domestic chores. "Yeah, your advanced feminist theories were cute and all when we had civilization and could sit around and stare at our navels all day, but we're back in the state of nature so you really need to fall in line with the gender role God gave you before you see the back of my hand."
Hooker, Pimptress, and SheGirl as far as females go. All three of these women seem self reliant and just generally useful to have in a crappy situation. (Oh, and the fact that low crawl a mile over coarse sand paper, and salt to get any of these women to acknowledge the POSSIBILITY that I have a penis has nothing to do with my decision.) BrianH, and Crown Royal from the men. BrianH because I would happily subscribe to his apocalypses survival plan, and he would probably result in me getting to blow shit. Crown because he amuses the shit out of me, and probably would have some stress reliever on his person at the time of this tectonic fuckery. Oh, and my M-16. Uncle Sam issued it to me, and I'm damn sure going to use it.
Actually, with the exception of Skyello, that would be a pretty fine way to spend an evening. I don't imagine the conversation would be boring. And if Skyello WAS there, at least there are two large men to keep Shegirl from biting his head off and hulk-SMASH'ing the rest of his body. Actually, I just realized...I'd be the only person under 6' there. Weird.
Two dead men, two women covered in blood that isn't theirs, and a Southerner weeping quietly in the corner while trying to make an etouffee out of coconut rinds and sand.
Is the basic strategy one of survival or one of a big party until the looters come and either kill us or recruit us? Because my picks are going to be different depending....
I totally forgot about vonboffinsheep. And Guy Fawkes. And Charles Johnson. Hmm...decisions, decisions.