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2013 Christmas/New Years Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. lust4life

    lust4life
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    The times I've had a catheter put in they did it while I was under GA, so I never felt a thing. But like Mazian, my first colonoscopy was done with a modest amount of anesthesia and I felt every inch of that procedure. After that, I found a new gastroenterologist and told him before both of my last colonoscopies that if I felt anything, I would hunt him and his family down. I was given conscious sedation and didn't feel a thing.

    Oh, and spinal taps aren't particularly pleasant, either.
     
  2. xrayvision

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    Intubation is when they put a tube down your throat connected to a ventilator. It breathed for shimmered when she was under anesthesia and given a paralytic to keep her still. This also paralyzed the diaphragms and voila!

    I work in the trauma/ER every weekend and I see people getting catheters all the time. That shit is just as painful to watch as it was the first time. One unfortunate soul managed to get an erection during the procedure. I'm not quite sure how this was possible considering that he was totally unconscious. But it was the hottest nurse in the whole ER doing it so I guess hotness transcends consciousness.
     
  3. gamecocks

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    Thank you all for ruining any chance I had of enjoying my coffee this morning.
     
  4. mazian

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    If you need more just say the word, I've been studying for my dermatology class today and the pictures completely erased the idea of eating something today.
    Did I mention that they like to include surprise dick-pictures in their presentations?
    You just go through the lecture, thinking about how gross skin can be, and BOOM, surprise zombie-cock!
     
  5. jdoogie

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    What the hell? Was your class being taught by Anthony Weiner and Brett Favre?
     
  6. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Instead of the ER gross-out series, shouldn't somebody be posting pictures of boobs since it's 12-12-12 ?
     
  7. shimmered

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    someone got video of me yesterday. i laughed so hard watching it last night.


    I've had 3 catheters and all were done after a spinal or epidural. the removal was even bad.
     
  8. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    I was running late this morning, so I had to grab breakfast and coffee from a place closer to work. I slept like shit last night, so I kind of zombied my way through the world until I arrived there.

    After my order was placed and the girl handed me my sandwich, she said...
    There was an inflection in her voice that was sort of half question, half statement, and I assumed that she was attempting to tell me that my order was ready, and that "salpepakachep" was in the bag.

    I looked at her blankly for a second and said, "Um, I ordered a bacon, egg, and cheese, actually. What is this?"

    Her confused look told me that there was a serious communication gap, and at that point it dawned on me that she was asking if I wanted salt, pepper, or ketchup for my sandwich. She just happened to ask it in a hybrid, fast-talking retard kind of way.

    The woman behind me gave me a look that simply said, "Sir, she's not the only retard here."
     
  9. rei

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    stupid people kept making a point of "what will you be doing at 12/12/12 12:12?!"

    had to go out and smoke to get away from them, so apparently my answer is 'hitting a bowl'
     
  10. Bundy Bear

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    What the fuck kind of doctor do you have to be getting a catheter for nasal surgery? I've had surgery on my sinuses to do with sleep apnea twice now and no catheter. The recovery is annoying as fuck though.
     
  11. katokoch

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    Don't go to the Post Office today. Just. Don't. Especially not over your lunch break.
     
  12. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    You mean them telling you to breathe out when they remove the catheter didn't make all the pain go away? Huh, me neither.

    When I had my first child, I'm lying in bed and I said to my husband, "I think this is the baby's head" because I had this weird bulge in my lower abdomen. So we ooh'd and aah'd, until the nurse came in and said, "Wow! Your bladder is really full! Didn't they give you a catheter?" Yeah, we felt stupid. We were getting all sentimental over my full bladder. Memories.
     
  13. Kubla Kahn

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    This is why after seeing those health class photos of the herp and, (ghuulll) HPV, I demand condoms be used even if the girl is on 8 different kinds of birth control (unless you know you're too drunk to think about it, hachahaha).


    Shimmered if you are holding out catheter video on us, so help you god...
     
  14. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    I'm addressing party invitations and my mother fucking gold pen just quit on me. Mid-name.
     
  15. CharlesJohnson

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    I don't give a damn what is happening, I WILL find a way to piss without a rubber tube going up my peepeehole. Unconscious for a 5 hour surgery? I can hold it. Kidneys failing, incontinence? Use The Force. Trust me. First doc that catherizes me gets a piss spritz from a seltzer bottle right in the face. Old, cloudly piss that's been fermenting in the sun for 5 days. It will smell like he stuck his face inside a deer's twat.

    Some sick bastards do this for fun you know. "Babe, our marriage is getting a little stale. Let's spice it up. I want you to take this metal rod... and ram it... into my dickhole."

    The culprit (SFW):
    [​IMG]

    Yeah. No. I may be into some weird shit, but I draws the line there, matey.
     
  16. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Our doorbell rang and I ran to get it because I thought it was the vintage fur hat that I ordered being delivered. Turns out it was a girl looking to sign me up for monthly donations to an animal cruelty organization. OOooooopppsss.


    On an unrelated note, my dad and I are trying to join the twenty-first century and switch to smart phones now that out contract is up. He just sent me Straight Talk, which I had never heard of before but looks like it might be good. Do any of you have this or know more about it? Would we instantly regret using it?
     
  17. McSmallstuff

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    In the interest of being a representative of ones urban community in a way that shows not only pride, but a bit of the local color, I will just leave this here.



    edit: Shout out to Thebucmaster for his help in bringing this artistic masterpiece to you.
     
    #297 McSmallstuff, Dec 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    Spoiled for the squeamish
    I remember hearing on a loveline once Doctor Drew explaining the fetish of sticking things up your pee hole. He said most start with something soft like a q-tip and a lot of people try and see how far they can shoot objects out of their pee hole when they ejaculate. He said the worst story he ever heard was a guy who was doing this with a glass swizzle stick. Which. Broke. Off. INSIDE. HIS. DICK.



    Also when I want to feel good about where I live I just watch this video and thank god I don't live in that city:

     
    #298 Kubla Kahn, Dec 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  19. CharlesJohnson

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    I remember that video. How he didn't get his ass driven over is a shame. Raise you another classic:



    Turn your speakers down. I can also smell this mother fucker from here.

    "15 guys raped my brother in the Clark County Jail."
     
    #299 CharlesJohnson, Dec 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. McSmallstuff

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    Am I the only one hoping he would get either beat or shot?
     
    #300 McSmallstuff, Dec 12, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
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