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2013 Christmas/New Years Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    no one is having butt sex in front of my mom. My friends boyfriend wants to fuck her in te butt. She wants to wait until she meets his mom and dad which I think is fucked up.
     
    #721 Angel_1756, Dec 18, 2012
  2. Seeker

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    Disturbed

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    How exactly are anal sex and meeting his parents related in her mind?
     
    #722 Seeker, Dec 18, 2012
  3. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Because then it's a 'serious' relationship and therefore, butt sex is ok.

    Yeah, fucked up, I know.

    But then again, I don't get laid at all anymore and I just bought her mother a flat screen tv. So just ignore me because I'm clearly doing it wrong.
     
    #723 The Village Idiot, Dec 18, 2012
  4. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    When she said put a ring on it, she didn't mean her O-ring up to his second knuckle.


    Boyfriend: "Mr and Mrs Girlfriend, I just want to get your permission to ask Girlfriend to... grease up her anus and sodomize her passionately while Glee plays in the background."

    Father: "Welcome to the family, son" *slap on back*

    Wait. Maybe she thinks you're trying to fuck her mom. The most I ever got the gal's mom was a warm smirk and a hearty handshake.
     
    #724 CharlesJohnson, Dec 18, 2012
  5. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
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    Make the issue moot by having butt sex WITH the parents.
     
    #725 MoreCowbell, Dec 18, 2012
  6. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    And everyone wears a strap on. Everyone.
     
    #726 Juice, Dec 18, 2012
  7. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Look. How much can you really know about a person unless you DP her dad?

    his anus is old and loose and looks like a Basset Hound yawning.
     
    #727 CharlesJohnson, Dec 18, 2012
  8. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    All that sensuous talk and not even ONE mention of buttbeads. Wrapped in tinfoil, that's how a MAN takes it.
     
    #728 Crown Royal, Dec 18, 2012
  9. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE PUPPIES?

    [​IMG]


    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=MvLghiF7kdw[/youtube]

    Edit: I don't know how to embed YouTube videos anymore.
     
    #729 audreymonroe, Dec 18, 2012
  10. Gravy

    Gravy
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    I got this:

     
    #730 Gravy, Dec 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    DAAAWWWWWWWW.

    In one move that Animal Planet gets credit for is their show "Too Cute." I squeal like a little girl watching it. I mean how did it take this long to just film puppies being cute and make a show out of it?
     
    #731 Kubla Kahn, Dec 18, 2012
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    When it comes to flipping animals, you go big or go home:



    ....Workhorse flip wut wut
     
    #732 Crown Royal, Dec 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. zyron

    zyron
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    Holy shit:

     
    #733 zyron, Dec 18, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. Gravy

    Gravy
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    Can't let dingos have all the glory I guess.
     
    #734 Gravy, Dec 18, 2012
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    CharlesJohnson, I owe you an apology.

    I'm saying "sorry" because you were right. It isn't worth it. You see, at first I was peeved at Black Jesus for not wanting to join my mini-wahoo out of his general hatred (and pity) of these so-called PUAs. And now, I am fucking done too. I just can't take this anymore, and besides I have been clogging up the most prolififc thread of the year with too much of this shit.

    WHY am I done you ask? Because I just had the most maddening conversation in history with the biggest fucking tool-liar in the solar system. It took one post for my facade to crumble on here, and decided it was time for a TiB member to wear their heart on their sleeve.

    This is the end of my wahoo. I think you can see why:

    Ricodrago:
    Me:
    Ricodragos:
    Me:
    ...so, you were right. It really IS intolerable. So, that's all she wrote. If anybody on here finds another place in the future that needs a wahoo, I'll be more than down. However, I will NOT be going back to that fucking site again. What a gigantic, steaming turd of a community. May they all get locked in a freezer and the building set on fire while they scream inside. ALL of them.

    I wash my hands. Now, we have an apocalypse to prepare for, and a Drunk thread to live up to its name. So let's drink and do lots of drugs. It's Christmas, goddamn it.
     
    #735 Crown Royal, Dec 18, 2012
  16. JoeCanada

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    Ugh, I've been drinking too much beer since classes ended for Christmas break. My pants are getting tight, and it's not just because of Black Jesus' post at the top of this page.

    But fuck it, the fatter I get now, the faster I'll lose weight when I totally start working out and eating right in the new year! Cheers!
     
    #736 JoeCanada, Dec 19, 2012
  17. Noland

    Noland
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    This apocalypse thing sucks. Both Discovery and History have nothing on but how the world might end. Would someone please tell me why there are adult humans in the United States that take the possibility of a zombie plague seriously?
     
    #737 Noland, Dec 19, 2012
  18. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Wait, are you saying that there are options OTHER than a zombie plague for the ending of the world?

    Well, fuck that, I want no part of it then.
     
    #738 The Village Idiot, Dec 19, 2012
  19. Noland

    Noland
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    Personally I'm a fan of the Yellowstone supervolcano eruption theory. That's partly because Samuel L. Jackson told me on the Discovery Channel last night that we are 40,000 years overdue for an eruption, but mostly because I like saying the word supervolcano.

    Supervolcano.
     
    #739 Noland, Dec 19, 2012
  20. Kubla Kahn

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    Hey if the shit went down we'd be the only country with a fighting chance to repopulate after. The rest of the civilized world let their panty waste governments take all their military grade firepower from them. In every movie I've seen the military is basically rendered useless in the breakout.
     
    #740 Kubla Kahn, Dec 19, 2012
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