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2013 Christmas/New Years Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    So after a friend told me that my face "doesn't look that bad" I went to the grocery store where as I'm checking out the bagger asked me, "Is that makeup on your face?". I was a bit taken aback and answered honestly that I had some precancerous cells removed. He then proceeded to tell me that he had a brain tumor removed and that he went to CHOP and the people there are wonderful and he got to meet Andy Reid and "Who did you get to meet?" Um, just the doctor that sprayed my face. It was a weird conversation.

    On an excited note, this Saturday is my dad's side Christmas party at my parents' house. Out of my 30-some odd cousins, I am the only one that moved away from home so I don't get to see anyone nearly as often as I would like. My sister is currently going through a nasty divorce and she will be there. During the course of her marriage, she started coming around less and less since he was so controlling. We always have a lot of fun together and except for my grandma's funeral two years ago, it was probably about 4 years prior that I last saw her, even though we've been talking on the phone a lot for the past year. She really needs a good time and we always laugh when we're together.

    Side story about stupid stuff we laugh about. My sister, our mom and I were talking one time and my sister was telling a story about this guy she knew who had a pool table and some kids kept messing around with it. She then kind of holds up one of her hands in a cupping motion and says, "Can you blame him, what guy wants their balls played with all the time?" Our mom is pretty conservative so I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't help laughing and so did my mom. My sister realized what she said and said, "You know what I mean!!!" I've really missed her.
     
  2. Noland

    Noland
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    [​IMG]

    So is this guy the lunatic I think he is or is he sitting in his living room right now exploding in laughter at the gullibility of the average American idiot?
     
  3. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    I could use a few terms to describe him:

    tool box
    liar
    schmuck
    moron
    poseur

    ...in my eyes, the History channel will never recover form that. NEVER. They'll soon downward spiral just like TLC.
     
  4. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Actually Giorgio Tsuokalos was on Joe Rogans podcast last week and when he doesn't have some creative editing by the history channel, he actually is fairly reasonable in his views and doesn't come off as a complete nut bag. The ideas are out there, but he presents them somewhat rationally.

    He's kind of embracing the crazy thing on purpose.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Donald Trump became rich because his dad died. Or as Trump calls it "the art of the deal".

    There is nothing wrong with hating the player.
     
  6. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    No shit. Apparently declaring bankruptcy umpteen times makes you a great businessman. In his defense, he lost other people's money.So he's not all stupid.

    In regards to Florida - you folks left out the large lesbian contingent in Tampa. I've spent some quality time with those gals. A pile of fun, they are.

    I'm missing our office holiday party tonight, I've got a kid's play to see. I pre-emptively made up for it last night with a big old steak and martin's with a buddy of mine.
     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    HIS CASINOS WENT BANKRUPT.

    How does a fucking casino go bankrupt???????
     
  8. Binary

    Binary
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    Er, they're asking for 5+ years experience in SQL Server. It's shorter than saying "5+ Years Experience in SQL Server. We now use SQL Server 2008 so please make sure that's part of your relevant experience."

    Embezzling money to pay for hair?
     
  9. Noland

    Noland
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    Indians finally getting their revenge on the palefaces?
     
  10. Juice

    Juice
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    Between that and anyone who is dumb enough to sign up for a Western Sky Loan, Id say so.

    [​IMG]

    Yes, that is a 116.73% interest rate.
     
  11. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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  12. Noland

    Noland
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    Audrey, how could you fail to post the titles? I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Maybe I should get out more.

    The Anal Adventures of Honey Poo Poo

    Here Cums Honey Poon Poon
     
  13. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    I went to their website to get more information on their loan products and here's a full line of what they offer:

    [​IMG]

    I love how they say that "not all applicants will qualify for every loan product or the lowest interest rate for a particular loan product." I mean how shitty does your credit have to be that you're deemed too risky for a 234.75% rate loan? Do you have to tell them that you plan on spending the money on crack?
     
  14. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Ladies, your boobs need squeezing to stop cancer. It's science (probably).

    I, for one, accept the burden of my new responsibility and will stop at nothing to make sure you're all protected.
     
  15. lust4life

    lust4life
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    And their collections department consists of Guido and Fat Tony. Two goons, one eyebrow.
     
  16. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    In response to rep, my sister is very attractive and, AND owns a beer distributorship. Although she's thinking of selling once the divorce is final. Which should be soon (hopefully--he's an ass).
     
  17. lust4life

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    Attractive,divorced and owns a beer distributorship. Now that's a trifecta.
     
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Holy shit, the circle is complete.

    That is....completely fucking sick. Like, OUT THERE sick. What in the wide, wide world of sports is wrong with people? That's your goddamn daughter feeling you up, you twisted cunt. Is the mother-daughter thing also a running joke in Florida? They made fun of it on Family Guy before.


    Is it bad that the less fucked up people are the ones on the show they're parodying (if that's a word)?
     
  19. JWags

    JWags
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    Probably should pull a Natty and post some pictures of her here.
     
  20. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    I am sitting here at my sister's house in Houston with best friend waiting for my other sister, her family, and my parents to arrive. I am so super pumped! It's been awhile.
     
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