Sweater farmers. Don't piss off those cuties directly, there is no single more disgusting thing on earth than their "self-defence system." It's like they liquify a placenta and spit it in your face. WE ARE STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not so tough, are you Satan? JK you know I luvs ya
Damn! I just dropped my girlfriend off at the airport and have a few hours before I need to be at my sister's place to drive to our hometown. This is why irish cream exists!
We may celebrate another joyous KRAMPUS this year. <a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus</a> Apparently they do Krampus crawls? Krampus bless us, everyone! Spoiler
Today my niece smeared fecal matter on the white slipcover downstairs. Her diaper is an endless supply of play doh!
Christmas night at the Lohan and Culkin residences, all gather 'round the fire to hear the story of how Roman Polanski will get you if you don't give your parents power of attorney. "He brings you to the casting call, but never CALLS YOU BACK FOR THE ROLE!" *lightning crash*
Polanski is a slimeball. I heard that when it came out that he slept with that girl, it really gutted Sharon Tate. I'll show myself out.
"Slept". Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. He snuck a 'lude into a twelve-year-old girl and fucked her up the ass while she was passed out. Or as Brett Rothlesberger calls it: "dating". As far as talent go, Polanski is as good as Scorsese. As far as human beings go, I hope he gets raped by the devil's spike-festooned dick. And he actually WAS cheating on Tate with his ex-girlfriend while she was being murdered. That ugly little fucking troll was taking his love to town behind the back the most beautiful woman on earth. Figure that shit out. I mean, she was only a LITTLE hot... Spoiler
Holy shit this song is angry. Afternoon rage song. I never gave a shit about Polanski's flicks. But I think I'm the only person on earth that loves The Ninth Gate. Frank Langella is awesome as a satanic billionaire. Plus it's full of book porn. And Satan. Lots of Satan. HIGH 5, DARK LORD.
The FBI recently announced they won't rest until every member of the Lohan family is behind bars. Remember when Linday DIDN'T look like she did stunts for Rocky Dennis in snuff films? Spoiler Knife in the Water, Repulsion, The Fearless Vampire Killers, The Tenant, Rosemary's Baby, MacBeth, Chinatown and The Pianist are nothing short of brilliant. As Far as Ninth Gate goes, I love the look and feel of the film (if you like books or cigarettes you should enjoy it), but it never really answers anything and it's just a long tease in the end. You ARE right, though. Langella-- right down to that uber-menacing voice of his-- steals the show as Boris Balkan. That book collection of his is one of the most marvelous set pieces you'll ever see in a movie.
Okay. I have a butcher knife, tarp, lime, shovel. Then I just need to find this fuck's address: I never understood why these dorks use borderline depression and angst as a means of picking up. It would be sad if it wasn't hilarious. This one is ten times worse: Spoiler Ladies.
That picture is photoshopped to shit. I mean, her face is the color of a weird old doll. Ol Freckle Tits doesn't get tan like that. (in the interest of full disclosure, Ive never been a Lohan fan and have taken great delight in her descent into visually unappealing sloptart.)
Your opinion's of Lindsay Lohan are now considered null and void. Your hatred of freckled gingers has gone on long enough. It ends here. Mean Girls Lindsay Lohan was a force to be reckoned with. Every photo that ends up in a magazine is photoshopped. But she can actually tan that color, due to her part Italian roots. Regardless, she was once a fucking stunner. And now she's not. God I miss her the artist formerly known as the hot freckled redhead Lindsay Lohan. Spoiler
Speaking of bad decisions, I bought my girlfriend a second bunny yesterday. Meet Betty. In other news, SNOW! White Christmas for the second time in my life!