Why is it that when your friends start talking crazy shit, like "Oh this guy from L.A. that I met in Austin, will want to date me even though I live in Chicago! It is going to be great when I visit him because I have a convenient work trip to L.A. in a month! It'll be so great he'll want to date me afterward!" And you calmly and nicely say "Um, there is a very small chance that's going to workout the way you think. You're going to go to L.A., have great sex for a week, but he is NOT going to pursue a relationship with you. It's not you, its the distance, that and he's surrounded by tons of hot women in L.A. that spend 90% of their time, trying to be hot." You're told you're an antagonistic asshole. THEN said friend goes, they report back to you exactly what you said would happen, completely disregard the fact they're regurgitating what you told them and then call me an asshole again for saying "I told you so!" Shit like this happens all the time to my friends. They tell me things and/or ask for for advice. I say: Would you rather say "Thanks Parker, you were right!" and have me enjoy my self-satisfaction of saving you grief, or Would you rather go fuck up, feel bad, and have me say "I told you so" and gloat in your wrongness because you should have listened to me? Some of them have learned the former, some of them have learned the latter. The latter is always so disappointing. More booze is necessary. Just got a $50 electronic wine opener kit for $15, I love Macy's one day sales!
Great. Just perfect. Now everyone's gonna be jumping out from around corners yelling "Boo, Axey-feet!!" at me. Parker: maybe you should try killing your friends. If that story is true, then why are you hanging around stupid people? I wouldn't wipe my ass with a personailty like that.
Sometimes being a friend is recognizing that people are fallible, and understanding when they wanted to be supported vs. when they need to be chastised. Also, maybe the fact that both of your options end up with you being smug is more of a problem than the fact that your friends are part of the 95% of people that get delusional when sex is involved. it's ham cooke day
No such thing. First the smugness most of the time is quietly kept to myself, unless I've given them advice before I was right about and they insist on me being wrong. I am supporting my friends by trying to prevent them from talking back into the fire. Also, my advice usually occurs before sex. This isn't even sage shit. It is just applying Occam's Razor. Everyone wants to pretend like their situation is different than the million other situations that have happened before and are EXACTLY like theirs. But nope, they're a special little snowflake, you have no idea what its like so you can't tell them shit (this excludes tragedies and life altering accidents and diseases, but even then). If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, smells like a duck, feels like a duck, its most likely a motherfucking duck. It's not stupid friends, it's humanity. Only a few of us are self-aware of such things. I finally applied my own advice to my life for the first time, and it has done wonders for my state of mind. And now to reset. NSFW
G+ is from google and it's like a cross between facebook and skype, but it's better than skype as far as the chat goes. You don't have to sign in with your actual name, mine is under Crown Royal. Somebody then just has to start a chatroom (usually bewidlered) and invites you. It's easy to sign up and use. The chatroom has both camera AND text, so even if you don't have a mic or camera you can still chat live with the other on it (like Wheelz does). I usually find it funny, since I'm usually then only one who doesn't use the word "ya'll" on it, but in spite of that it's my accent that gets the most fun poked at.
Yeah, it has the option for mic and camera, but you can turn off either/or. Usually the new person in the chat is the one to turn their camera off, but most of us have spoken to reach other on g chat so often that we all know what we look like and it is no big deal. So, last night was fun. 4 pints of beer, 2 gingerbread shots, a whiskey and water, and a glass of wine later lead me to lots of dancing by myself in the bar. Xrayvison, ya missed it. Eventually my stellar dance moves encouraged others to join in. No, it was not out of pity. I am really that awesome of a dancer.
I admire the spirit, but let's also face the facts here: women always start the dancing. No matter where you go. Never once have I been at a bar where a group of dudes got the dancefloor going. It's always a group of girls who hit the 99 Bananas too hard and early. It's kind of an unwritten law. Women can do that "group dance" thing and guys can't. I guess it's because it serves as a multi-purpose, since it also puts up what I like to call "The Wall": a defense system with a view of all dancefloor angles to look for early warning signs of oncoming guys looking to try to pull the ol' "Ass Grind" on one of their friends from behind. Yeah, that move NEVER gets old, does it ladies? Guys, we can't go off and dance in groups. 90% of guys hate dancing that even requires any arm movements (if they do it at ALL), and I can't exactly say to my friends "Yo, Johnny, Rob, Phillipe....let's go dance, man." No, because your friends would probably escort you outside where they'd put a trashcan over your body and kick it in.
Can't watch the damn Patriots game because no one goes to Jaguars games and its blacked out. Son of a bitch.
It makes me sad that I missed it. But after the day I had yesterday, I promptly passed out. So much so that my dog actually shit the carpet in 3 places because he had to go so bad. And I was neglectful owner who woke up to the piles. But you are here for a few more days past Xmas. You should come drinking in my neck of the woods.
We were there for 2-3 hours but I drank too much to let you know that. I doubt I'll be out doing bar stuff again since Christmas time is family time.
So what you're saying is I should just sit and drink in your front yard with intermittent bouts of consciousness.
Yet the KC Chiefs fans are keeping the broadcasting alive and well here! I guess at least I get to watch Andrew Luck, that's something.
This thread now has 100% more llama power. This is Lorenzo. He likes to sneak up behind you and smell your hair because he's a f'n creep. I wanted to ride him down the road so bad. First Jacksonville, then on to Peru to reclaim his birthright.