I feel like TJ heard me poking fun at him it would probably end up with me picking bits of horsehide out of my flayed flesh. I was trying to make a joke but I made a sad.
Your response should have been, "Be sure to write something nice in it, too. You know, that sappy lovey-dovey stuff you like.". I mean, if you're going to shoot, shoot both barrels.
You men seem to be cut from the same cloth. Although this year it very much seems to be working to my favor.
It's like she hasn't been paying attention to herself at all. She should know what to expect from pseudo-you by now!
Ughhhh...love Christmas. Can't stand spending more than 2-4 hours around my mom. She literally has no coping mechanisms and refuses to seek professional help. Since it's just my dad and me she dumps all of her nonsense on us. If I can get through the next 36 hours without bitch-slapping someone it will be a Christmas miracle. Christmas Pandora makes it lots better.
I had a great time at the family Christmas party on Saturday, but had a somewhat sobering realization when I saw my cousin's kid with a kid of her own. My cousin became a grandmother at 43! On the way home my husband said he didn't realize cousin's kid was married. I said she wasn't, that was her boyfriend with her. He then said he thought it was suspicious when he was told she was married because, "No one in the __________ family ever gets married before they have babies." It's sad because it's true (except for me and one of my brothers). I just tell him it's survival of the fittest and apparently our family is pretty fit. Or horny. Or stupid. Or something. Tomorrow will be at the in-laws for our Christmas, then my parents for Christmas day. While there, apparently I'm going to have to talk with my 21-year-old niece about telling my 17-year-old daughter that she just has to read Fifty Shades of Gray. Night and day are these two Christmases. In-laws use the China and silver, my parents use the Christmas-decorated paper plates so there's less cleanup. Both are great times. Merry Christmas everybody.
You see, I took the less expensive way out: my dad and I simply stood back and allowed my mom to go nuts. Now that she is, we've adapted the fact that the part in her brain burned out that provides impulse. I love my mom, my parents gave me a great (but ever-watched) childhood with nothing that would be considered traumatic. So as payback, I sit there, I smile, I nod, and as she talks I think of something more pleasant, like drowning puppies.
Hmmm...you must teach me your ways, sensei Crown. She had a complete meltdown over a cake sticking to a pan. We all know it isn't really about the cake. I got the fuck out before things got worse and am now enjoying Christmas tunes and doing some last-minute wrapping of presents. (And by "wrapping" I really mean "sticking things in a bag and throwing in some tissue paper"). Merry Christmas, idiots. Hope y'all are enjoying the festivities.
See, you're dealing with a different beast here. My advice for people who tweak like that in front of me is "Shut the fuck up you simpering child" and I have a distinct feeling your mom is the type that wouldn't handle that response too well. My mom blindly chucks ugly truths at people and likes telling people what to do. Where we clash is I don't like being told what to do unless you are my employer. So it causes me to go on one of my sarcastic screeds which causes my dad to burst out laughing and then the "eyes" get shot all over the room. There is no climate I hate more than "Awkward". So, I tune it out like an Irish family does their kids on an airplane. Oh, I forgot to ask: if it isn't too familiar, if that episode WASN'T about the cake, what was it?
My mom always finds something to get butthurt about. I found her on the bottom of the stairs drinking coffee and asked her what was up. There's room for me here, she said.
Ahh, the holidays, they bring out the worst in people. It's funny, mine are always extremely low key. Then I get all jealous about people posting their happy family pics filled with smiling faces and holiday cheer on Facebook and feel like I am missing out on having my family nearby. Until I talk to them later and find out all that happened behind the photos.
Wow, this almost makes my family's decision to say fuck it and just not be around each other preferable.
It's a toss up, but I don't miss my family this time of year too much...I just imagine these stories multiplied by 36. Anfd Im gooood. edit- I really wish I had a breathalyzer on my phone right about now
Same here. My daughter is old enough to be completely into the holiday and the innocent fun it provides children. Christmas also means booze, followed by New Years which is officially Booze Night at this plateau. Anywhoo, tunage: