I've been drinking some Wyborowa with some coke zero, mostly because I've had way too many sweets recently... It's actually pretty good, for a vodka that cost like $15. Very smooth.
My father had a Norwegian client for years who would give him a bottle of aquavit every year. There was a time when I would drink anything. Moonshine, warm, old beer, pink wine, generic gins, hobo wines, name it and I probably guzzled it down at some point. I couldn't finish one glass of aquavit. You are a brave man.
I've been sucking down gin, champagne, and a little brandy eggnog. Someone's getting a face full of ass tonight*. Face Full of Ass. I think that was a Sergio Leone movie. *Hint: Whoever opens a NSFCMC. Ahhhh, but which one will it be? Who knows, that's the surprise.
I don't get why ever other liquor from that part of the world has to be flavored with liquorish or anise. Sambucha, absinthe, ouizo, fucking JAGER. Can't they find an herb that won't make the entire world gag for god sakes!?
Merry Christmas Everyone! Here is my Christmas tree I set up with my dad. We do it every year. My mom has a magical talent of making new Christmas ornaments appear every year and swearing on her grave that she has no idea where they came from. I decided to leave the garland off this year, I feel like it was a great choice. Spoiler Hearing about everyone's drama on Christmas has made me appreciate my family so much more. With the exception there is a distant cousin of mine that has 2 kids at the age of 17, and another pothead family member. Its pretty drama free. I think the key is as soon as everyone gets to my Aunt's house or mom's house, they're given food they must east immediately or "it'll get cold." By the time everyone is done eating they're too tired to do anything else except make jokes and chase around the too many kids there. I think everyone needs some Mariah Carey Christmas!
Can't help ya there. You should ask your mother in law that, since she is the originator of this tradition.
Merry Christmas. I hope someone got you a radio flyer wagon. Because you'll need it to carry around your butter soaked, prolapsed colon behind you. I hope endless scampi was worth it. I hate to say it, but even in Florida, Red Lobster is the cheapest place to get a goddamn lobster. This is an area where our indigenous fish (Pompano, Snapper) can go for $20 a pound, sometimes more.
So, usually, I take the toys out of the boxes and preload them with batteries so that the kids can go crazy with the toys instead of waiting half an hour. Plus, Daddy needs to quality control them. I bought my son a remote controlled helicopter/ground based missile battle set. They (no joke) bolted that fucking thing to the cardboard with no less than 10 screws, AND ZIP TIED IT TOO!. It's a $50 toy. Yes, I realize they worry about thieves and all that, but give me a fucking break. I always have a nice Dr. Jerry (Sailor Jerry and Dr. Pepper) or three for toy assembly night... What the fuck, they want me in the ER?!?! I need to unscrew them all and cut off zip ties? I haven't even looked at the remote control truck, the train set, or anything else I need to pre-assemble. Bah humbug!
I'm guessing they weren't thinking about reservations at Rodney's Oyster House the day your mother-in-law got out of the hospital. Or, maybe the story behind the tradition was all an elaborate ruse. You know, so they wouldn't have to put themselves in a situation where their racist dullard of a son-in-law could embarass them at their favorite seafood restaurant.
I will say this for my mom: she makes an amazing spread with Brie and almonds and cherries. It almost makes the situation down-right pleasant.
Hell yes. My mom likes to bake brie cheese with almonds and dried cranberries in a pastry crust. Deeeelicious!
My family went to church, I did not. Instead while they were doing whatever they do at church, I went to the liquor store to reload.
Red Lobster in nothing short of an abomination. If I smoked a quarter ounce of Sweet Tooth strand to myself, I still would not be able to stomach it. I mean, the below-third class food, the patrons that look like Biggest Loser rejects, the drooling staff and the decor straight out of a porn shoot in an Irish family's living room, what's not to love? I cannot wrap my head around how a place that doesn't even serve real food could stay in business for so long. Just wrapped up The Night Before Christmas with the little 'un. She did not have the patience for me to read the one-sentence pages before trying to turn them on me WHAT'S NEXT??!?! WHAT'S NEXT!?!? I have a question: what weird fucking kid dreams about "Sugarplums?" I'll tell you what I was dreaming about for Christmas as a child: a nice brick of C4, some wire, and a 9-volt battery. Merry Christmas, TiB. I know this day brings out the worst in some of you (or especially your mothers) so trap that heat and pour booze directly over the whole matter to make it go away. Or smoke it if you got it. If not, I dunno, take a shovel to your local graveyard and beat up some dead people. Great Moments In Common Sense #18294-134