Another day, another couple of dead rats trapped in the garage. They've been getting bigger and bigger, too.
I do not get these references. I can't tell if I am more annoyed or ashamed of not knowing. Of these are not references then you all aren't very funny.
My wife and I got 'Homeland: The First Season' on DVD. Of course, Mandy Patinkin is one of the main characters. Every scene he comes in, I say 'My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.' My wife keeps saying 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' She's never seen the movie.
Am I a bad person because I've never seen Princess Bride? In other news...Nothing tastes better than the pre-game drink before a date. It relaxes the nerves, calms the kraken in my pants, and in my mind makes me more charming. First time I met her, we were sitting down and she was wearing some boots with heels. Slightly concerned she might be taller than me, not that it is an issue for me, I hope it isn't for her if she is. Before you Idiots go there, I'm not short, but I think she is 6' and I'm 5'11. This chick looks a little on the skinny side but I'll take it. (Not my date btw) NSFW
In order: Not because you havent seen it, that deficiency is symptomatic of you being a bad person. Clearly youve never had steak or bacon. You're 5'11"? That's as tall as my mother who's in her mid fifties. So congrats on being as tall as an old white woman. Finally you're going to take it from her? Glad those roofies you were waiting on came in! As to her being skinny: see steak and bacon.
I've had steak and bacon before. Your mom is a giant, 6 inches taller than the female average. And you're only half black? Wow, I've just lost half my respect for you. And what would I be taking from her? Her height? What? Anyway, the roofies have been in. They're going to work great tonight. She's going to wake up in her bed, and think it was all a dream, so I'll just be the man of her dreams.
Just got back from Christmas in Galveston. Ate great. Laughed a lot. Draank a lot. Smoked some weed. Went naked in the pool after midnight and pissed off the twelfth floor balcony. Talked the oriental piano player in the lounge bar to playing Tiny Dancer last night and letting my nephew sing it with him while the rest of the bar backed him up. All in all, a fun time. First non traditional Christmas ever and liked it. Next year, maybe a cruise. If your ever down there, here's the place. The filet in The Steakhouse with bernaise sauce was really good, also. http://www.sanluisresort.com/ Merry Christmas, TiB. .
I've never had a female friend taller than me, and I've always wanted one. Does that make me weird? Unrelated, some TiB folks are hanging out in NYC this weekend, so if you're in the area and are aroused by social awkwardness and weird introductions, send me a PM or something.
Parker, don't be mad because cops only use racial epithets and not batons when they're baselessly pulling me over. You probably just "look more aggressive" than I do. Lives are on the line when your're catching a D.W.B arrest. We just have to trust their judgment.