What's that? Oh, nothing. Just hanging out in 72 degree weather for NYE. I'm pretty much a big deal. Sorry in advance for the size. I'm posting this off a tablet that I'm still learning to use, so I have no idea how big that really looks on here. If anyone cares, it's about a 30-foot drop from the top of those rocks to the water. The best Hawaiian beaches don't have shit on Okinawa.
That orgasm denial video wasn't that bad! And I bet you all watched until the end, because you were curious too!
Jesus, that toilet seat was fucking cold. That's one way to wake up in the morning. How hard would it be to install a heated toilet seat?
The kids are getting along, playing well together, being appreciative of their gifts, and just generally being enjoyable. I'm wondering who abducted my kids, and how I can ensure they don't try to return them.
Has anyone else seen the show Freaky Eaters? Basically it's focused on people who are REALLY picky eaters and only eat one thing, like one lady who eats nothing but sweets and another that eats just French fries. I started off only mildly shocked but somewhat understanding since I know some picky eaters and shows like Hoarders exist... then I hit the corn starch episode, you've done it again TLC.
I saw a drug addict who stated that he only ate chocolate milk and shrimp cocktail. I pray to God they weren't consumed at the same time.
The one I'm watching now is a woman that puts tartar sauce on everything including Cheetos, jello and cupcakes, I don't think I can watch this all the way through.
Well, that was a fun 200 mile drive on unplowed pavement down the deadliest highway on the continent. No, not me who had a Western Star truck drive right up his ass and blast its horn while my wife and daughter were sleeping in the car. I full-on wanted to climb out of my car in gridlock and kill that fat, sociopathic cunt with my bare hands. I certainly let him know I meant that with words and gestures at him. The fucking NERVE of that open-sore piece of skunk shit nearly killing us in weather this horrible. a) What the fuck are you doing driving full speed on the 401 on a saturday b) You are NOT allowed to drive on the inside lane, EVER, yet you do not leave it even for cars c) is there EVER a cop when you one? No. d) Do you really think because you drive a large vehicle that makes you automatically tougher than everyone else on the road? How impossibly retarded ARE you? Sorry, I'm ranting. I have had way too much bad shit happen to me while inside my car and I am not going through that shit for a third time. I hope that guy drives straight into an overpass abutment, burns and dies. On the plus size, it is REALLY easy to score good, cheap weed in my wife's hometown (Steve Earle wrote song about it called Justice In Ontario). But driving this time of year that far is a prime example of why everybody should hate winter.
Ah yes, but Port Hope also has wickedly cheap gas. I just shovelled my fourth driveway in three days. I AM A MACHINE.
Fuck Les Miserables. I like to think in 50 years Arnold jokes will still be funny. We haven't hit peak Arnold yet.
You mean THIS one? With Johnny Knoxville in an aviator's hat while Arnold fires a WW I Browning out of the back of a school bus? Are you saying this *isn't* a comedy? Sharktoctopus had a better poster. Probably more compelling character development too. Someone better get hit in the nuts, that's all I'm saying. Spoiler
I mean Hollywood has really kicked it into high turbo charged nitrous fueled gear with the amount of shitty shit they churn out lately. As fast as 99% of it is shoveled off half a week after release, you'd think they'd try something good or original with the same amount of money. Nope. Garbage in, garbage out. As with everything, there is a Simpsons clip that epitomizes the exact situation:
Hollywood tries to put out too many movies, period. Compared to the two to four that release every friday, there are four more than week getting sent straight to DVD. If Hollywood is crap, that stuff is crap concentrate. And it still costs millions of dollars to make those turds that nobody watches. The Boondock Saints was the one success story, and then its asshole director made a horrible theatrical sequel to it. In the late 80's, one..MAYBE two movies were released a week, even in the summer. They stayed in theatres longer because whether they were crappy or good, they weren't the same thing over and over again. It stayed strong like that through to the late 90's when huge budgets took over and egos exploded. If there's one lesson to be learned it's that all bubbles burst. The music industry is now paying for it, the housing market ate itself and if Hollywood doesn't slow down producing cookie-cutter dreck aimed at the Lowest Common Denominator they will soon follow. There are almost a dozen nominations for best picture at the Oscars and Hollywood still barely qualifies for it, if at all. That's what we call "evidence".
I'm giving away birth control in the form of a toddler. Any takers? I'll throw all the loud annoying toys she got for Christmas in for no extra charge.
It's like I tell everyone: fit a c-clamp over her head, and give it a quarter-turn when she acts up. You'll have a bitch of a time getting her to wear baseball caps, but if it works... it works.
I just got into Ottawa from Toronto. Holy fuck, I can't tell you how many accidents there were, and fortunately the worst of the gridlock was going the other way. Roads are barely plowed and my car started going sideways every time the ABS kicked in. Oddly, my dad was trying to delay me from leaving. As if somehow the snow were going to fall magically back into the sky and accidents were going to unhappen as time went forward. Related note: why is it that when it snows, people with 4WD / AWD are always the worst drivers? They're either going way too slow (presumably to say "hey everybody lookit me I have all wheel drive, the situation is under control") or way too fast (i.e. "hey everybody lookit me I have all wheel drive I am fucking invincible!")