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2013 Christmas/New Years Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Dec 7, 2012.

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  1. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Well, I don't know about you guys, but Pussygalore and I got back to my apartment at 8:30am this morning because we were out late with our internet friends.
     
    #1621 audreymonroe, Dec 30, 2012
  2. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Did they pick you up in a windowless van that had 'Free Candy' spraypainted on the side?

    Did they use the same van to drop you off?

    Do you have little memory of last night?

    If so, PM me, I'd like to get to know you better.
     
    #1622 The Village Idiot, Dec 30, 2012
  3. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    This sounds like the beginning of something hot, but you probably fell asleep over a pot of half cooked Easy Mac. Not that I know from experience, no never.

    It has been brought to my attention tomorrow is NYE. Anyone doing anything worth a shit? I'm giving it serious thought to stay home, do jack and shit. This is the first day my head isn't pounding like Parker is jackhammering me into the bed frame from behind. Plus, the doctor savaged my wallet. Decisions, decisions. All of them portentously bad.
     
    #1623 CharlesJohnson, Dec 30, 2012
  4. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    ...

    Are you in Key West?
     
    #1624 CharlesJohnson, Dec 30, 2012
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You spelled "litre" wrong and we usually call that a "forty" (close to 40 oz). What you guys call "handles" I'm used to simply "64 ouncer" What you guys call "Magnums" we call "Texas Mickeys". There is different lingo allllllll over the place.

    And that "Hate the Eagles" line is from Big Lebowski.

    And THESE are my favourite Steel Panther tunes:

     
    #1625 Crown Royal, Dec 30, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  6. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    I'm a few years late, but I just started watching "Mad Men". I love it. I think I'll get through season one by the end of the weekend.
     
    #1626 TX., Dec 30, 2012
  7. Parker

    Parker
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    Hey your sister on her webcam told me it was the greatest cock ever, I mean I did pay her $4.99 for a 30 minute private session though.
     
    #1627 Parker, Dec 30, 2012
  8. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    AWWW SHIT SON.
     
    #1628 Juice, Dec 30, 2012
  9. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    A friend of mine, for reasons entirely unknown to me, bought me a cotton onesie. All it really seems to do is frame my scrotum. And it's 55% cotton, so using it as a layer when outdoors isn't an option, and it's button up from my junk to my neck so it's cumbersome to put on and take off.

    Kids, comfort wear / cold weather gear can make a nice gift. Warm, cozy, soft flannel PJs? Excellent idea. A nice comfortable hoodie or sweatshirt? Hey, why not. Long johns? Grandmotherly, but practical for my climate and love of outdoor activities. Cotton onesies? Uhh...
     
    #1629 ghettoastronaut, Dec 30, 2012
  10. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    Heh you said onesie.
     
    #1630 McSmallstuff, Dec 30, 2012
  11. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
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    Do you think he wears diapers? Kinky.
     
    #1631 PIMPTRESS, Dec 30, 2012
  12. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    WTFever. I love a onesie. They're the best.
     
    #1632 TX., Dec 30, 2012
  13. gamecocks

    gamecocks
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    Please tell me you got one of these.
     
    #1633 gamecocks, Dec 30, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  14. lust4life

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    [​IMG]
     
    #1634 lust4life, Dec 30, 2012
  15. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    I will assume this means you would like to see pictures of my awkwardly framed scrotum in said onesie. Check your inbox.
     
    #1635 ghettoastronaut, Dec 30, 2012
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Just took my daughter tobogganing for the first time. Guess what I got out of the deal?

    A bruuuuuuuuised tailbone!!!! *applause*

    Evidently some kids built an ice jump at the bottom of the hill and we hit it, and we were riding one of these:
    [​IMG]
    ...so, with respects to Murphy's Law, we flew four feet into the air and I landed right on one of those oak joists with my ass. It hurts SO GODDAMN MUCH right now, I can barely fathom it. My daughter giggled her ass off the entire time and complained with much volume that I climbed the hill too slow after that.
     
    #1636 Crown Royal, Dec 30, 2012
  17. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Being the responsible father that I know you are, you need to get her a child sized one of those babies and have her trek up the goddamn hill herself.

    My mom is full of gems, but this one rings true, ''kids are half rubber, half steel. If they don't bounce they won't break.'' You can even buy her a cute helmet if you want to appear some what responsible.
     
    #1637 bewildered, Dec 30, 2012
  18. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Ive always said fatherhood is a real ass- whooping.
     
    #1638 lust4life, Dec 30, 2012
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You don't understand. She trekked up the hill herself. Every. Single. Time. Like she was running the Crucible at Parris Island. Meanwhile, I was the guy lying face-down in the mud being yelled at by men with no foreheads. I was injured and couldn't walk straight. She wasn't even breathing hard after 30 climbs. I could have sworn through the haze I saw her smoking a cigarette at one point.
     
    #1639 Crown Royal, Dec 30, 2012
  20. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    Ooooh, so the point of your story is that you're an old man. Got it.
     
    #1640 bewildered, Dec 30, 2012
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