Fuck yeah. I'm in Germany for New Years and I'm fully stocked, too. The bottle rockets are equivalent to the mortars kuhjäger was talking about. Behold: Also, while out to dinner last night, I came upon the dreaded backwards toilet again. I'm sure glad I didn't have to take a shit this time. There's just something disconcerting about dropping a deuce onto a shelf. It's almost like they want you to AC Slater the toilet.
The fireworks somehow got really old for me over time. Haven't blown something up for 2-3 years on NYE. I hate these. But fortunately I rarely see them and they will never go into any bathroom if I can prevent it. I always wondered why they're designed like this. Do they want you to admire the masterpiece your body created? This year I will be in the middle of bumfuck nowhere having some fine raclette. My friends want to get out at 11 pm and hike to a small hill or something so we'll be there at midnight. Might have to get a good buzz going before we start, I loathe hiking.
Those backwards toilets came up a while ago. Kuhjager said he had a friend who researched it, and apparently they are designed for a more closer inspection of your shit. Germans.
Yeah, I remember that. I just brought it up again because no matter how many times I see them, they still piss me off. My wife's apartment had one, and it was horrible having to take a beer shit onto a shelf with no water to block the stench. Worse yet was the time I had to go so bad I barged into the bathroom while she was showering and ran her out of the room with the foul odor I created. She nearly killed herself trying to escape the shower/bathroom, while I laughed/cried because I found it funny but could not escape the horrible smell myself.
I got that big ass bag o rockets. It already sounds like a warzone here. It is like living in the mostly mexican town I used to live in whenever there was a mexican soccer win. I also got a biggish sized battery, so that should be fucking awesome. Of course, I am sick, so I am now sitting in my underwear eating my NYE dinner of ramen while my wife goes to eat at our best friends place.
In high school I went on a school trip to Europe. They had one of these in a German hotel we stayed in. I took a dump while my buddy was on the phone with someone from home. It made the loudest cur-plunk I have ever heard. My friend in the other room started screaming, "Fuck! Turn on some water or something for the love of GOD!" I could not stop laughing. Fucking weird German engineering. I don't need to inspect my shit.
Can we go back to this for a minute? You know how people write last minute donations to non-profit groups at the end of the year for tax purposes? Similarly, ladies, you have about 12 hours (eastern time) to follow Nettie's shining example and get in your 2012 boobie and bootie posts. Don't go the whole year without making a contribution. There are little children in Africa who desperately need to see your breasts. You know, if they had food and a T1 line. Won't somebody think of the children?! I'd like to request some nice side boob shots or other clever angles. Let's be imaginative! I debating on making one of my resolutions to quit being a dirty old man and shamelessly requesting boob shots - I figure I better make my last request a good one.
TiBettes, please read and heed Rush's post above. End the year with what we all love and adore. BOOBS!
I will also request end of the year boobies. I would go so far to say I would post a penile picture in return. (You know if anyone wanted to see that. And if my phone had a 1000X zoom. And if I could find my extra soft masturbatory tweezers. But other than that stuff I would totally pay you ladies back with a picture of my junk.)
Yes, a year ago my drinking strandards would have been different. However, 6 glasses of wine after pretty much never drinking for 7 months, being a smaller size, and being female...it adds up.
Being female doesn't hurt your tolerance. I saw sorority girls at Mizzou out drink men from visiting colleges that were twice their size. And that was them pregaming.
My cousin is one of these females. Although not a sorority girl, she can out drink me and nearly every dude I know. A few Halloweens ago a bunch of us cousins got together and were shocked at what a 20 year old 120 lb. female could hold down. Several dudes, myself included, were getting ready to pass out while she was in the kitchen asking who wanted to do whiskey shots at 3:30 am.
On the flipside, don't be that girl trying to keep up with the guys and end up spray painting the bathroom. That is supremely annoying. Nothing says charming coming into my car smelling like French cheese and hot garbage. Reminds me of one girl, got stuck in the back with the child safety windows. She didn't tell me she was sick. So as I'm driving down the road she had her head tilted halfway out the window blowing chunks at 40. That was awesome. I would have loved to have been a bystander seeing that car pass by.
Females biologically metabolize alcohol at a slower rate than their male counterparts. So while yes, a female can build up her tolerance to blow you out of the water, her starting point is lower than yours.
Well I was nursed on dragon blood so everyones tolerance is lower than mine. I am much man! Observe as I beat my chest!
I definitely cannot put booze away like I could, but I also do not go out drinking five nights a week solid anymore. If I try and binge drink nowadays I black out. I never blacked out in my twenties and now I'm finding out I body-checked a mailbox on the phone the next day. I guess I'm out of practice because I rarely drink. Completely ignoring what I just typed, I am just about to start drinking. I just returned with a LOT of beer and rum, and I am in severe pain from my tobogganing mishap yesterday. I am shitfacing the pain away tonight.
That's a prime reason why I would never let maggot drunk people in my car. Ever. They don't care if they throw up in your car, or even on YOU while you're driving for that matter. I never got the magnetism towards drinking yourself into a walking seizure pile. That way-past-the-wall drunk where you try to punch your own friends, vomit in hallways and pass out wherever you feel like it. I can't stand maggots.
Oh, yeah, high five! Wait, what?! No, no. That is what PM is for. At least, that's how I usually open the PM conversations I start. I think you're doing it wrong.