Unless we're 16 at a Drive-In movie, women don't know how. A guy knows how to give himself the best handjob, and NOBODY is in second place. A handjob is a win by forfeit. A meh victory. If he's hard and she's wet, just gut that fish already.
I've never had a good hand job from anyone but me. I've had handjobs that "worked" meaning they got me from point A to point B. But we all need to grow up here and move on from the pathetic, benign handy.
On a somber note, this is the saddest thing I've read in a while. Especially around Chrismas time. SGEDIT: Jesus, that's terrible.
You probably are, and if it's during the heavy petting part of foreplay I'd much rather you play with my balls than stroke the shaft.
Born to hand job, baby. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm confused. I just assumed Nett's couch already had stirrups. And, on the hand job question. Why would you do that? Seriously, if there's a reason you don't want to have vaginal intercourse, and your mouth is wired shut preventing you from giving a blowjob, then just let him jerk it. Tell him you want to watch and he can come on your tits / face / favorite handbag, if you feel the need to participate.
It should only ever be an appetizer, never the main course. Unless it's in a public enough place that anything else might appear uncivilized.
Re: Born to hand job, baby. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. It also sprays you with Bat-Gas like Glen Quagmire's couch. Nobody likes a fighter.
Bullshit. Let's hear it. Here's the progressive levels of sexual enjoyment: Wet dream >> hand job >> masturbation >> blow job >> Intercourse
Well, first, I have a semantic quibble with how people define blowjob. The best blowjobs are 90% hand, and the best handjobs are 10% mouth. Hand without mouth >>> mouth without hand, so via my definition, handjobs are doing the real work in that situation. People play guitars with their hands. The build bridges. They do *surgery*. If hands were good enough to create the Sistine Chapel, they're more than equipped to get you off. In addition, you can vary the pressure and speed so much better with handjobs than with blowjobs. You can create a wider range of sensation, AND it's much easier to reciprocate while it's happening; mutual masturbation is way better than 69ing, which is stupid. People ignore handjobs often, to their own loss. I would give my own sex hierarchy but people would just claim that it's bullshit.
I can only imagine the kind of horrific oral mishap that must have occurred to result in such a terrible opinion.