An "accident". Riiiiiight. Most people tell someone when they like them. They don't go around shoving their crotches in their faces. Listen, just have a cesarean Angel. No big. All your parts will be in original working order that way. I'm at the dentist. They just gave me these really cool glasses to wear. I'm looking sharp. And drooling. I think. I can't really tell.
Plus it would be awesome around Halloween when you paint your C-section wound up like the Joker. "Hey, kid. Wanna know how I got these scars?"
Elective c sections are rare up here unless it's not your first kid. Basically they'll only do them if they have to. Which I'm okay with. Kegels >>> elective surgery.
It's like "the Naked Man" move on How I Met Your Mother. That "move" was more like a pro wrestling flying suplex gone wrong. I usually save the one Binary is talking about for when the ladies are seated at a bar table. Or church pew.
So I'm at an away swim meet. There is diving. We don't host diving so this is the first time I've seen it. I...don't know what to say. I've seen belly flops, back flops, faces almost hitting the board and I think the first girl farted before she started. From our side all you hear is oooohhh, sharp inhales and faces being covered. A parent from our team said "I can't watch". They get points, so it helps them, and we have zero divers, but this is painful. I feel bad for these kids. Someone just got a 1.5.
as a three time c-section'er- you couldn't be more on the money. Yeah, your lady parts get a bit bashed up for a minute but the lifelong effects of a c-section are, in hindsight, so . not . fucking . worth it.
Go team go! Geez, there you go again, sharing your highschool cheer squad sexual experiences. Do the military and Canadian doctors still do vertical incisions instead of bikini incisions?
I've seriously seen better dives at the neighborhood pool. Hell, I've probably done some. But they tried. And they're shitty diving helped their boys' team win by 2 points as we have zero divers, so good on them. The best were the gasps. And their parents just clapped, like they were used to it. We're flinching. I tried not to, I didn't want their parents to think we were disrespectful. This isn't too far off. Except it was only a 1.4 difficulty: Spoiler I beg your pardon. Like I was cool enough to be a cheerleader. I was quiet in high school. Really.
I take back all the nice things I said about you. I know, you're devastated. Someday when I go home to my parents, I'll find a picture and post it. And then you'll see what I mean. I had a perm and braces! It's like that means nothing to you guys! You seriously wouldn't recognize me in my senior picture. I was wearing a black turtleneck with a red sweater. I'm laughing in horror typing that. Edit: Dammit, none of my high school friends had any pictures. It's weird to be looking for these, I normally block them.
Guys, I'm blonde. Natural. I don't even really have any gray. This makes me happy. And Good Lord, does that girl have a pad sticking out of her suit? The horror!
A thread where everyone posted their senior pictures would make for high comedy. I wish I had mine. As a teacher, I have to take one each year. I need to get much more creative with them.