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2014 CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Free candy!

    Hey, we're here to help. Since she doesn't have a boyfriend (that YOU know of snicker, snicker), I have saved you some trouble by messaging her through Facebook the link to this thread. On to Step 2!
     
    #81 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 2, 2014
  2. Binary

    Binary
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    Re: Free candy!

    Ohh, that's what you meant by "we should contact her on Facebook"?

    I sent her a ... different kind of message.

    My bad.
     
    #82 Binary, Dec 2, 2014
  3. shimmered

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    The idea of sweet tea makes me gag a bit. Bleergh... Probably because people generally put 2 cups of sugar in a gallon around here.
     
    #83 shimmered, Dec 2, 2014
  4. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Re: Free candy!

    No prob. She's gotta learn sometime. Plus, you're smart, so that's cool. Rush...eh, not so much.
     
    #84 happyfunball, Dec 2, 2014
  5. gamecocks

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    Re: Extra Gravy

    Try saying yankee tea next time and see what you get.
     
    #85 gamecocks, Dec 2, 2014
  6. Noland

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    Re: Extra Gravy

    Urine?
     
    #86 Noland, Dec 2, 2014
  7. Angel_1756

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    Or semen, depending on the state, I'm sure.
     
    #87 Angel_1756, Dec 2, 2014
  8. Puffman

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    Step 1: get her a boyfriend.

    This is going splendidly. I knew I could count on you guys![/quote]

    The problem here is High School boys can only handle Cardio on them for about oh 30 seconds. At least the first time, for um some of us.

    Your daughter will have to make sure he has plenty of experience in Cardio.
     
    #88 Puffman, Dec 2, 2014
  9. Trickysista

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    Older, college guys are usually pretty good at that, no? Don't you live near a state school with a pretty high frat population? Maybe you should ask around there for some after-school tutoring for your daughter!

    TiB...here to help!
     
    #89 Trickysista, Dec 2, 2014
  10. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    I feel like I need to clarify this is my 15 year old.

    TiB--yep, not surprised.
     
    #90 happyfunball, Dec 2, 2014
  11. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Which means, in about 30 sketchy basement apartments across the U S of A, countdown clocks were just set.
     
    #91 Angel_1756, Dec 2, 2014
  12. gobo

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    31. Gotta start laying the foundation for that mother-daughter action early.
     
    #92 gobo, Dec 2, 2014
  13. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    If you're that hard up, her mom's still available, I think.
     
    #93 Angel_1756, Dec 2, 2014
  14. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Gilfy Milfy

    Have you not been paying attention? Clearly, this is going to be grandmother-mother-daughter* action based on GrandmaFunball's rocking bod.

    *I think this is called the hypotenuse.
     
    #94 Rush-O-Matic, Dec 2, 2014
  15. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    He didn't look hard to me.

    Hey-oohhh!!!
     
    #95 happyfunball, Dec 2, 2014
  16. bewildered

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    I imagine everything you say coming out of the mouth of that mounted cougar (hee hee) in your avatar. Kind of like that moving singing bass they had around Christmastime several years back, except instead of songs, the cougar spits out dick jokes.
     
    #96 bewildered, Dec 2, 2014
  17. silway

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    Depending on the state they live in, some of those clocks are going backwards.
     
    #97 silway, Dec 2, 2014
  18. Noland

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    Re: Gilfy Milfy

    I have something to add to my bucket list.
     
    #98 Noland, Dec 2, 2014
  19. Angel_1756

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    Now, do you have to bang all at the same time, Rush, or can you start with one, move on to the next, and then on to the next? Sort of an "over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go", if you will?
     
    #99 Angel_1756, Dec 2, 2014
  20. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    I sat at a stop sign extra long to get that joke in before someone else.

    I'd say I'm in a good mood (despite you guys being gross) since I saved $150 on tires, but I still spent $600.
     
    #100 happyfunball, Dec 2, 2014
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