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2014 CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Crunchy PB looks weird when you poop it out.
    It messes up the bread when you spread it.
    it smells different.
    And peanuts that aren't creamed into creamy peanut butter are weird.
     
  2. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    So yeah Uh, right. Nut Butter.


    Im a crunchy peanut butter man and a chewy bacon man. You give and take. The natural peanut butter is leaps and bounds better than your sugar filled Jiff.
     
  3. happyfunball

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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Booooorrrriiiinnnggg.

    Also, I hope you're joking.

    Somewhat related. Hilarious story. We don't have public bathrooms at work, so a woman asked to use it and we have to walk them back. So my boss did. This was right after she bought some Depends. Hold on...still laughing over this...so when I was done with work, since I wasn't going home I decided to pee. Best decision EVA!!! I walk in and Good Lord did it smell. Figured one of my coworkers must not be feeling well. Until I'm washing my hands and see the shitty Depends on top of the garbage. You can't bury that? Cover it up? I about threw up. So I left and went to my coworkers and mocked them for a little while about when they'll use the bathroom, that seemed to be my first priority for some reason. Later on I texted one of them to inform them I can still smell it and she said they just took the whole garbage can and put it in the dumpster. I mean, I realize these things happen, BUT CAN'T YOU BURY IT? COVER IT UP? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ANYTHING EXCEPT REST IT ON TOP IN ALL IT'S (NON) GLORY????

    People are gross.

    Carry on about your peanut butter.
     
  4. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Some people are so disgusting and yeasty and ripe that I still smell them after I come home and shower.

    Watching the SNL Christmas Special. Probably the only time I've watched this show in the last 8 years. Dick In a Box just ended. I can't help it....I'm 12....I still think it's great.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Nothing tops Dan Akroyd hocking unsafe children's toys.

    Yeah, it's glass. It's BROKEN glass!
     
  6. xrayvision

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    Today at my work, people decided that today was the day they thought no one could smell their farts. Patients were just gassing out their rooms and I would open the door to get them for their x-ray and get hit by a wall of shit-stink. This stuff doesn't just go away instantly. It happened so much that it got to a point where I had no idea what to expect when I opened the door.

    Also, various racial groups have different smells when they are in semi-large numbers. A family of black people all in a room together will smell differently than a family of Mexicans or Indian(dot not feather) people. I can't figure it out.
     
  7. Rush-O-Matic

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    Cut a hole in the box

    Ftfy

    That's because it's still hilarious.
     
  8. shimmered

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    People have weird smells. I dated a guy who smelled weird to me and wound up breaking up with him because it just bugged me SO much.
     
  9. happyfunball

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Right. I guess this is the time I should mention watching the guy picking his nose while waiting for his prescription and then us having to wipe down everything he touched because gross.

    Oh, and our male boss uses the female's bathroom when he has to shit because his bathroom is gross. We have three male workers. Three.
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Shitty Depends is still ahead by a mile.
     
  11. Popped Cherries

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    Same thing happened to me with a girl. She would use homemade soaps and they always smelled like "spices". Every time we were making out, instead of flowery or sweet smelling girl, I got paprika and turmeric girl. I just couldn't deal with it.

    So this happened to me today, TiB I ask of you, how would you have handled it.

    We have an "executive" bathroom upstairs at my work. It's really not exclusive or anything, but it's the bathroom that's near all of the executive offices. I was talking to the finance director and on my way back downstairs I went into the bathroom to take a piss. The minute I opened the door I got hit with a wave of wet garbage roasting in the hottest of summer suns. It was terrible. I suck it up and try to pee as quickly as possible so I can get the hell out of there. I finish at the urinal and go to wash my hands. As I'm finishing up washing my hands, the facility president walks in. The place still fucking stinks and I'm in there alone drying off my hands. I have to pass him to leave and I....

    So what would you do in that situation?
     
  12. zyron

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    I used to have to clean the bathrooms where I used to work. Women are fucking disgusting, the men's room was never that bad. The women, holy shit you are animals in public bathrooms.
     
  13. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Yep. Same here. That was part of my frame of reference.
     
  14. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Scratch your ass with your left hand and go for the fist bump with your right. If you don't get a promotion, I'd be surprised.
     
  15. happyfunball

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    I can't even think about it without being a little throw up-y.

    These are non public work bathrooms! Also, see Popped Cherries post above.
     
  16. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Me too. Jesus, the horrors I witnessed in those women's rooms. Especially with the tampons. Not once was one ever placed in the fucking receptacle. Stuck to the wall, the ceiling, stuffed in the toilet with a bunch of shit and toilet paper....yes. Receptacle...never. It was like a bunch of angry, menstrual monkeys were turned loose in there.
     
  17. happyfunball

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Women stuck tampons to the ceiling? Wow, we got some creative ladies out there. You should be applauding their fine thinking. Why you gotta be holding us back?

    Ah, Christmas thread, shitty bathrooms and bloody tampons. Tis the season.
     
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Popped Cherries story sounds like a women with some sort of vaginal infection stunk up his work's executive bathroom and now he has to let his co worker know it's not him with a stinky vag. Having worked at two bars I can tell you women were the worst offenders fucking shit up in public bathrooms.
     
  19. TX.

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    At the closest Target by me gals leave used tampons on the toilet seat. Now, I ask you: How hard is it to put your bloody vag-stick in the little trash can 5 inches away? They felt the need to smear that shit all over the seat and leave a nugget of joy there for giggles. Fuck you. There's no way you can un-see or un-smell that foulness.
     
  20. Rush-O-Matic

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Red and green means Christmas, right?
     
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