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2014 CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS DRUNK THREAD (NSFW)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Dec 1, 2014.

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  1. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

    One time I used our executive bathroom at my job out of college. I walked in and there's a lady sitting on the toilet with the door open. Me: "Oh I'm sorry". Her: "No problem!" She was German and I was informed that was what they do.
     
  2. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Sorry, my bad. Pads. Pads were stuck to the walls and ceiling. Still....ewwwww.
     
  3. zyron

    zyron
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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    My worst two was a woman, in bathroom with a toilet, sink, and two garbage cans puked a shitload in the middle of the floor. She could have turned in any direction and it would have landed in a better spot.

    The worst was a woman shit everywhere. the entire toilet was covered in shit, the seat, sides, handle and even behind the toilet. The walls had shit on them and the floor had shit everywhere. This was in a high end antique store too, not a Walmart type store.
     
  4. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box


    I just don't get any of this. It doesn't even make sense.

    Did you just blow it up and build a new one?
     
  5. guernica

    guernica
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    Once when staying in a small hostel somehwere in Ireland, myself and my 2 friends were put in a room with another, much older bloke. The guy running the hostel said that he had previously been in a room with a few girls, who had complained and wanted him out. I don't know if we were drunk when we turned up, but for some unknown reason this didn't really set off any warning bells.

    We check into the room, and a short time later we are joined by the other guy, and exchange a short amount of small talk. He tells us he has been travelling for 3-4 months and still had a few months to go. He absolutely smells, which isnt all that surprising considering he has one really small backpack containing all of his belongings, which has lasted him the entire time of his travels.

    I head out with my friends to check out whatever small town we were staying at for the night, and a few hours later we head back to the hostel. We walk in the door, to find old mate taking a piss in the room's shared bathroom with the door wide open. Sure, that's a bit weird, and he's clearly as bit of a weird guy, but we can put a lot of that down to bad luck that we had returned just as he was taking a leak.

    Or so we thought.

    Later that night, whilst all four of us were in the room chilling out, old mate goes into the bathroom, drops dacks, and starts taking a shit, and continues openly having a conversation with us at the same. He keeps the door open the entire time, including when he wipes he ass (which he stood up for).

    And he wasn't German.
     
  6. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Those damn Canadians.
     
  7. guernica

    guernica
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    I actually think he was Scottish, from memory. It was somewhere in the UK.
     
  8. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    Interesting. I worked at a clinic whose primary patient population was the Somali immigrant community. Since I was in charge of the facility, I'd know whenever my facility manager had to clean a destroyed bathroom. Whenever someone made a huge disgusting mess, it was always one of the men's restrooms, never any of the women's restrooms.
     
  9. wilder111

    wilder111
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    Disturbed

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    Can someone just post tits so we can get off this fucking idea. It's the holidays. Think of the children.
     
  10. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Its as if women unleash all the stress from their clean uptightedness in one room and one room only: bathrooms. Within five minutes they can turn a public restroom into downtown Baghdad after being napalmed by bodily fluid, or a home bathroom into a overheated makeshift waterpark. How? WHY?
     
  11. zyron

    zyron
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    Fine.


    [rnsfw][/rnsfw]

    SGEDIT: DON'T. I warned you.
     

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  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Fuck the kids. Look at who you're talking to here.

    Say, have you ever heard of a Blue Waffle?

    EDIT: on second thought, Zyron dropped the gauntlet. A gauntlet that weighs more than a freight locomotive.
     
  13. Clutch

    Clutch
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    Re: Cut a hole in the box

    More than once I had to clean a gas station bathroom wall that some woman had chosen to write on with a dirty tampon.
     
  14. xrayvision

    xrayvision
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    One time, I was at a cici's pizza, which is the first mistake, however someone took a log of shit and went all crayola with it on the walls of the bathroom. And then squished it between their fingers and just left it there. I was fucking horrified. Because I didn't know if it was an employee.
     
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Lies. We all know about those blackouts you used to have. That, with your Fun With Feces fetish adds up to it probably being you. I bet you even framed the retarded Indian kid who sells live bait. Poor Hasbro. He just wanted to make enough money for that Badminton set.
     
  16. mazian

    mazian
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    This is definitely not what we do!
    Closed bathroom doors, just like anyone else.

    I've been on the train home since 5 AM this morning going home to bury my grandma who passed away unexpectedly.
    On top of that, this cancels my plans to spend Christmas with my girlfriend. And I won't be seeing her that much in the coming months, because I had to move to finish my degree , christmas was supposed to be my send off for the time being.
    I hope we have good eggnog, because I plan on being drunk tomorrow.
     
  17. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
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    She's got bowls full of jelly just like Santa.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Air the grievances. Feats of strength.

    You KNOW what time it is.
     

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  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Oh, shit. I was in the same mall as Biebs tonight and the fucker didn't even tell me he was there. No gang signs, nothin'.
     
  20. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
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    Taking it back a couple of pages but smooth or crunchy you can take your peanut butter and take a flying leap off a cliff. That shit is fucking nasty.
     
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