Re: in Paris In addition to air quotes for artists, I'm also reading your word like Darrell Hammond doing Al Gore saying "lockbox."
Could there possibly be a better soundtrack to fuck to than throat-singing? I wonder if people get weird thoughts while banging at masquerade orgies. Like they can't handle the ecstasy they popped and suddenly they imagine that's Mr. T under that mask of the woman that they're fucking so they run screaming in tears onto the mansion front lawn where they are tackled by a body-painted Kevin Spacey.
Since the first football game of the day has officially kicked off, I'm no longer in alcoholic territory if I have a beer, right?
Re: in Paris Why not use actual quotation marks? Bougie also took me a second before the "u" clued me in. I did like "soup-cooler". That was new to me.
The newest guy in the department just walked in at 10:45 am today like nothing was out of the ordinary. The fuck is with this kid? The rest of us are puzzled as to why he's even still around.
En Eff Ell Ndamukong Suh's suspension was lifted and he claimed (with a straight face, apparently) that he didn't realize he was stepping on A.A. Ron Rodgers because his feet were numb from the cold. The hilarity that is Roger Goodell's NFL is so awesome.
God New Year's is the worst. I am warning y'all, you probably do not want to see that. Wait. Are you under the impression that "masquerade orgies" are a common group activity outside of that movie? ....Are they, and just no one told me? If they are, why am I never invited? Rich people are bullshit, man.
Dear Diary, Today I learned to always, always, always read the comments of the first person to post after Juice posts something with spoiler tags before clicking on those tags. G'night.
Fine, here's some eye bleach. It's a kitten snuggling with a puppy: Spoiler I bet you hesitated, didn't you?
I just scraped together 13 beers that have been sitting around since November and bringing a bag of tater tots, a can of chili, and this cheese I've had in the fridge for a month. That's how you pot luck a party, mother fuckers. By the time everyone Juices I'll be long gone.
No comment From the comments underneath an article at ESPN.com: What is a "brother friend"? Is that like a sister wife? And how did she get 88 thumbs up, but Motaz only got 15?
So in the ongoing saga of an 18 year old chick with huge tit steaks spending the week in my house with my stepson without my permission: She walks out of the bedroom this morning with just a T-shirt on. What.The.Fuck. So she decides to cover up the sweater hams, and uncover the smoking prosciutto's. I can't tell if I'm a great host who makes their guests feel really comfortable, or she just doesn't give a flying fuck. I'm going with capricious youth at the height of arrogance. Or sexiness. As I'm typing this the wife tells me she was wearing short shorts underneath. I'm torn. This is the same dilemma that I have with hot chicks wearing yoga pants. On one hand the old man in me is: "put some regular fucking clothes on",, the other part of me is "holy shit that is the hottest fucking chick I've ever seen over on elliptical machine number 8" And in response to Nett's idea that my wife wants some extra bonering this weekend. We were outside shooting the shit, and her exact words were: "You are throwing a fucking on me sooner rather than later"
At least your wife wants to have sex with you. I was operating under the assumption that pregnancy made women horny. She apparently feels less sexy when she's dry heaving in the shower, gets a few pimples and hates how she looks and feels from when waking up to sleeping.
The only possible dilemma over hot chicks in yoga pants is "do I talk to her or just tuck away a happy visual in the spank bank?"
My wife wore me out when she was pregnant, it was great, now that I am trying to knock her up again the banging has gotten to be a twice a day deal, I can only hope when she is pregnant again that it follows the last time.